A
female
age
30-35,
*ammy1205
writes:Dear Cupids,I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 11 months. We see eachother around two or three nights a week due to our conflicting work schedules. He is a sweet, loving and loyal man for the most part. The only time we argue is when we are talking about our schedules. The sex we have has always been amazing and we do it whenever we have the time.Anyways, I recently went through his internet history and found a few porn star sites in the google searches. When I asked him about it, he brushed it off as nothing and said his friends often send him links and that his computer has a virus, and that caused porn sites to flood everywhere. (Yeah right) I didnt believe him. Then a few weeks later, I saw he had searched a girl dressed as Avatar that we had seen in a sexy halloween costume contest. I think it is wrong that he is intentionally looking at other women. I am wondering, my cupids, how should I bring this up in a conversation with him?
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female
reader, Tammy1205 +, writes (3 November 2010):
Tammy1205 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you guys so much for all of your wonderful answers...they have really helped with this dirty little issue
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): I disagree with the other posters...I am one of those girls that is offended by porn not only because its a way for guys to get off but because its incredibly degrading to women. I feel for you, if my boyfriend looked at porn I would be really upset and I would talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Dont change your feelings about it to please him, if you dont like it then let him know you wont deal with it. Its that simple...dont settle. There are tons of guys out there that are not interested in porn.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Searching porn sites is a passive activity and won't directly lead to him cheating on you. Even if you speak to him about how uncomfortable it makes you, he'll likely still do it behind your back. Men like to look, and although we women may not agree with it and don't like it when it's not us our boyfriend is looking at, nothing will ever put a permanent end to that.
For that reason, it may be best not to bring it up. He's not going to see it as an issue, and he'll likely wonder why you're looking through his internet history in the first place. I'm not saying you're wrong to feel upset, but as long as he's only looking and isn't acting differently toward you because of it, there's no need to worry. If he starts searching on dating sites and actually talks to other women, where admiring passively turns into interacting inappropriately, then it's time for concern and a serious discussion.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 What you should remember is there is a big difference between looking and touching. Most guys will have had some sort of fantasy some time in their life.
Just because he is looking doesnt mean he comitted to you. He may be telling you the truth about porn site virus etc... I have had a similar thing happen to me a long time ago.
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