A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm not sure if this is a problem or not, but any help would be appreciated all the same.my boyfriend and i have been together for over 6 months, we were each others first (which was incredibly gentle and romantic) and everything has been plain sailing.however i've noticed that when we're having sex he's been getting rougher. now he's normally really sweet and laid back, so i'm quite surprised to see this side of him.most of time so far i've been enjoying it, but last night he was really rough and it really hurt could you please give me some ideas on how we can both enjoy sex?i don't want to tell him that he's not allowed to be rough because it's got to work both ways, but i didn't enjoy last night, it was just painful, and now i'm incredibly sore (he just thrusted a lot harder but considering the fact that he's quite big and i'm quite tight, it really hurt) and i've had some red spots in my underwear but it can't be my period as i've got an implant which has stopped them)but yeah can you offer some suggestions of what other things he can do instead of thrusting really hard?thanks for your help xxanon xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): If it hurts try lube and ur not turned on by it so ur not having nat. Lube and another thing if u want him 2 slow down and don't want to say anything while in the middle turn over or something make him pull out by pushing him out and do something like wack it a bit or something and then try ur way so its win win half and half or something I think lube will help the most 4 u though! U could be bleeding becuz ur so dry from it and he rubbed it to the point u bleed but take a warm bath and lube! Well I hope this helped
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): "i don't want to tell him that he's not allowed to be rough because it's got to work both ways"
Oh really? So if he thought it would be really sexy to continually punch you in the face then that would be okay would it?
It's doing enough damage to you to cause bleeding then he may cause enough damage to impair sexual function down there permanently.
It's no an insult to us guys for you to let us know what you do and don't like OP. We prefer you tell us so we can please you, that's the idea of sex, pleasure for both people.
"what other things he can do instead of thrusting really hard?"
Okay after just consulting some of the best sex therapists, physicians and sexually experienced people in the world we've come up with a technique that may just work, wait for it...he could be more gentle. I know, shocking right? Who'd have thought it?
OP either you tell him what works and what doesn't or you're just going to have to a crap sex life with a guy who doesn't know he's doing it wrong and some fun visits to gyn with your fingers crossed he can repair your shredded vagina.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (6 May 2012):
 "i don't want to tell him that he's not allowed to be rough because it's got to work both ways"
No. It doesn't work like that at all. Sure there's give and take in a relationship, but that give and take should never involve letting him hurt you because you don't want to be too pushy. You really think that if you were hurting him to the point where he was bleeding he'd just sit there? You have to tell him to stop treating you so roughly if it hurts. Stop him and say, "that hurts a little can be you be a little more gentle?"
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