A
female
age
30-35,
*immy0618
writes:OK hi my name is mimmy.im 20 years old.and me and my boyfriends been together for 5 1/2 months. and he gave me a hickey.that i clearly didnt want.but If i tell him no he will stop and look at me and tell me why? why? you have another man at school...i dont know what to do.is he doing it because he is scared of lossing me or because he doesnt trust me??? plz help me i really dont like hickeys and he is the first one that has giving me a hickey! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): Mimmy, your response is very worrying.. there's a difference between a guy who gets carried away, and one that knows what he's doing and is using this to hold onto you. You explained you don't like it, you've offered to compromise by letting him do it elsewhere, but he isn't into compromise or respecting your wishes.Very, very worrying behaviour. Dose he force you to do other things that you do not like to do? Dose he always tell you your unfaithfull? Dose he always ignore your wishes and desires? Go and get a pregnancy test, as soon as you can. A baby will be a difficult thing right now in your relationship. What will happen when the baby comes, and you will have to put him last? If he's already accusing you of being unfaithfull, will he demand a DNA test and pretend that the baby isn't his. Please go to the doctor, and then tell your mother, father or a trusted family member about some of the way he is treating you, in this "unequal relationship"... I see trouble ahead.
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (30 October 2009):
 See, I always PREFERRED giving them where they could be hidden. A hickey on her neck made me feel bad because I was embarrassing her, but one on her stomach felt more intimate and fun.
He shouldn't be branding you, or mistrusting you. Without trust, there isn't much of a relationship. Period.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): You might be pregnant and your question was about him giving you a hickey? LOL. I hope you get a pregnancy test and if it is negative, that you learn how to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy. Please go to the doctor for an exam and get yourself the birth control pill and learn how to take it properly.
Good Grief!
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A
female
reader, mimmy0618 +, writes (29 October 2009):
mimmy0618 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks everyone
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A
female
reader, mimmy0618 +, writes (29 October 2009):
mimmy0618 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhelloo ppl thank for responding.....
its really because he is the only one i want and love.and on top of that i never play him or anything.so he doesnt have a right to not trust me..the fact that i am pretty should be the case i told him today that i really didnt like and to never do it again he told that he knew i had another guy and thats the reason why im not lettin him...
i really think its stupid because i might be preganet by him...and he already knows that...
so why keep doing it...or try to even do it...or get mad..???
im so stuck in one place right...
oh and i told him he can do it someone where that i can hide he was like for what i want it here/....
thank you for everything...
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A
female
reader, tshxs  +, writes (29 October 2009):
i might be wrong, but i think that it may be his way of letting people know that you're not single
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (29 October 2009):
I've only ever given hickeys accidentally and felt bad about it when I did. It's disrespectful and embarrassing for the girl stuck wearing it in public. He has to know that kissing you is a privilege, not a right, and if he doesn't control himself then he loses his access.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Yup, he is afraid of losing you and he doesn't trust you and he doesn't trust other men to leave you alone and you just might be tempted because you are fooling around with him after all.
It is immature what he is doing really even though he is trying to claim you, he is too immature to do it in a more manly way.
Get mad at him, and tell him you don't like him marking his territory as if he were peeing on a tree like a male dog. You are too classy of a woman to be peed on or to have your leg humped by a male dog, another sign of being dominated by a male animal.
A little shame in this situation will go along way.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, music-girl +, writes (29 October 2009):
If you don't like it, just ask him to not do it as gently as you can. I personally don't like them - if he loves you he'll respect your wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): lol.. good advice "quiet echo".. he's in love and turned into an animal.. perhaps a bite on the thigh, stomach or bum(hidden from public view) might keep him happy.... but I still like a kick in the head and a strong talk about what looks good and what does not.. your choice babes... are you keeping him... this animal who loves you so much?
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A
female
reader, gilgirl20 +, writes (29 October 2009):
Just tell him that you don't like them and they look trashy. And if he asks if there is another guy, just say no but if I go around with hickeys on me then guys will think I am a slut and easy to get with so they might try and get with you. Tell him to find some other proof that you are taken!
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (29 October 2009):
 UG! How frustrating! You have my sympathy.
Firstly, and I know this will sound silly, but grab a fork and rub the hickey with it. This will help it heal faster. Trust me, it works. I learned this in high school.
Secondly, tell your boyfriend something like this, "I have asked you repeatedly NOT to mark my body with hickeys. If you continue to disrespect my wishes then I will have no choice but to not trust you and will therefore, be unable to allow you close enough to do it. I do not have another boyfriend. Such an accusation is insulting and ridiculous. I will not permit you to 'stamp your mark' as a warning to other boys that I am taken.
"Hickeys are immature and frankly, they make me feel uncomfortable. I have no need or wish to advertise to everyone who sees me when or that I am making out. This behaviour is tacky and juvenile."
Then, honour your threat. If he places one more hickey on you, stop making out with him for a while.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): I think that if you don't want it then just say no if he is worth it then he will understand and just be like yeah ok. i dont think that he will mind if he does i think you should just dump him, if he does mind it is obvious that he doesnt respect you enough
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Hi mimmy, thanks for coming to share your story with us. Your not the only one, many women your age are in the same position, so don't worry, your not alone.I'm an old woman.. but I hate hickeys too... many people do.. I gave a guy a hickey once.. he absolutely hated it... I don't know why I did it.. but I guess I wanted to claim him, mark him, possess him and make him mine, so every woman would know to leave him alone.I bet that's how your boyfriend feels.. he thinks your too good for him, and he wants to mark you so all the world can see... he's scared that you will leave him. Unfortunately, with all our brains, we can still be animals at heart.Don't get upset babes, when we are in love, we don't think straight and we sometimes do the wrong thing. Just remind him that hickeys are trashy things that make women look like sluts and possessions of men, and you are too good and classy for that... then kiss him and make him promise he will never try to make you look trashy or disgusting again.... because your worth more than that...Happy loving.. if he's good enough keep him, he sounds like he wants to keep you very much
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