A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend of 10 yrs standing is extremely furious with me because a woman nearby he does work for is always ringing and texting with all sorts of jobs for him. He absolutely assures me nothing is going on and the extra money is welcome. The last time she texted I insisted I went with him as it was an afternoon job but when we arrived she wasn't in as he texted (maybe didn't tho!) to say we were both coming. I have met her in the street briefly,very personable nice woman. Am I being a pain or is he? Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2020): I cant speak for him without really being there to see what the issue is but i do want to throw it out there that as a single mom who enjoys home improvement, i often have to hire random people who do cheap skilled labor in order to tackle the bigger obstacles i face. For example, replacing a toilet or running new pipes. Im responsible for the repairs around here because i agreed to fix the place with my landlord whos somewhat like family. Thats not to say that some people havent been flirty themselves. Not always, but sometimes. Guys like that i assume do it with every chick theyre left alone with though. I mean, its not very professional. Its more so about whether you trust him as a person than it is anything. Being insecure or jealous imo isnt always an issue you yourself need to work on. Sometimes its a sign that something crosses your boundaries, hence you're looking for reassurance. Is he actually bringing home the money hes supposed to be making? Does he answer the phone or talk to you during break time at all? If having you go with him causes work issues maybe theres less invasive ways he can show you he cares about you feeling the way you do.Im a person who loves hard so i know if my partner felt that way id not be able to ignore it. Then again, im also someone who would very openly invite a workers partner and kids to come chill with me while he works too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2020): I do not care what anyone else says because I am gonna tell you to trust your gut.You know your boyfriend well so trust your gut and act on it.No one ever trusts their own selves and always makes excuses.Trust your gut.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (23 November 2020):
 It all sounds rather business related to me, and he is trying to make an extra bit of money during difficult times.
If he was doing the work for a man that was calling you would not even question it, so he is doing the work for a woman.
If he was going to an office every day and a female boss was asking him to perform certain duties would you question this?.
Has he ever given you a reason in the past the not trust him?.
From what we have gathered from your post I don't think that there is anything going on here apart from him wanting to make some extra money.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2020): Get to know her and judge from what you know, not from what you suspect! Does your boyfriend have a history of cheating in the past?
She pays him to do the work; I doubt your boyfriend is being a "rent-boy" on the side.
How about social-distancing? Does he follow covid-19 guidelines and restrictions? It should be mostly outside jobs; which will keep him away from "temptation" and infection. If you're both in your late 40's or 50's, he should be careful frequently going in and out of the homes of others; if he has any underlying medical-issues, or upper-respiratory problems.
Too much interaction alone with single lonely-women often will lead to trouble. It's not recommended when you have a wife or girlfriend. What often starts-out innocent takes a left-turn. She shouldn't grow too dependent on your man. He should consider your feelings; as long as you're being reasonable. Getting angry when you protest doesn't make it look very innocent!
If you can't trust him, why should you keep him??? Getting furious with you seems odd! Why would he be so angry? Do you always flip-out about him interacting with other women?
There's something wrong on both sides of this issue. How frequently should he be running to her rescue every-time she has some little chore for him? Who does she think you are, his roommate?
If my partner is uncomfortable about something I'm doing; I take that into consideration without question. Why is it so important that he "must" take every job she offers? Seems she needs to go find herself a boyfriend with domestic repair-skills, and/or hire a handyman; if she requires so many jobs. If you're both short on cash; maybe he sees this as a gig for a little extra spending-money. Nothing wrong with that.
If each and every-time the phone rings, and it's her; and he has to leave with urgency. How would that not be suspicious? What would he expect from his woman? What if some guy always needed you for this and that? Would that be cool with him? Maybe the calls shouldn't be so frequent.
You should accompany him as his "helper"; when you feel uncertain about the time of day; or you begin to get the gut-feeling she's making excuses just to get his attention. Be reasonable!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 November 2020):
 Do you trust him?
If not... why are you with him?
Has he given you reason to not trust him?
If not... why do you think you need to SUPERVISE him while working for someone?
He is trying to make extra money, you act like UNLESS you are there he could stumble and his pants will fall down and he will instantly cheat with her. Like he needs parenting.
What is really up here?
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