A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI am 15 years old, and I am a girl. I am a virgin and I'm afraid of having sex, a little because I'm self concious, but more because I am afraid of the pain!I don't want to be scared of it, and I don't want to be old and a virgin. I knw quite a few people who have had sex and I know I shouldn't give into peer pressure and I should do it when I'm ready, but I'm really worried as I am 15. I haven't had sex.What is the right age to lose your virginity?Also, I have never had a boyfriend. I don't want to be big headed but I'm kind of average looking. In my opinion I'm not drop dead gorgeous, but I don't think I'm really ugly either. I can be shy around new people, and I'm not sure about my personality.. I think it's okay.Whats the average age to have a boyfriend/first kiss?I think theres this guy who likes me... What are the signs?Sorry for the 3 questions in one, but still, thank you very, very much for taking your time to read and answer my question :)It's much apprieciated. Love x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): I really honestly think that you should wait. Especially because you dont even have some one to have sex with yet. I lost mine at 13.. I was stupid. I didn't even tell the guy I was a virgin untill recently (3 years later) I'm 16 now. I regrett it so much. Also, after your first time its easier to say yes to others because it doesnt feel like you have much to lose.. Losing your virginity is something you can never take back. Its special and I wish someone told me that before I did. Now I have a boyfriend and we've been together a year and a half. I wish I could of saved it at least for him but then again the point is their probially will always be a guy you wish you saved it for untill your married. I REALLy hope that you wait hearing it from someone near your age.:) good luck
A
male
reader, businessasusual  +, writes (5 June 2010):
Well i'll give you my spin in two flavours - go with whichever one works for you.
1. Spiritually - Sex is something that should be enjoyed within the sanctity of marriage. There are soo many reasons behind why this is so on the spiritual side (check this out http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/soulties.php). So if you're Christian and you're thinking about doing it outside of marriage, chances are your convictions will make it so difficult to stay with that person afterward that you two will break up and (maybe more so you) will be in a LOT of pain emotionally.
2. On a normal tangent - The guy that you want to do it with now most likely isn't the guy you're going to marry. This will lead to MAJOR problems down the road especially when you meet "the right one" and problems arise in your relationship due to your sexual history. A lot of guys (you'd be surprised) view sex as really important and something serious that they don't want to give to just any and everybody. They would prefer that their girlfriend or wife-to-be saw it that way too and hasn't shared that experience with anybody else before them. Doing it with this guys now is setting yourself up for the possibility of that trouble arising.
My advice, just wait - sex is way over rated and extremely boring once you have even 0.0000001% uncertainty in the matter.
Sorry to be so wordy, but it's a complicated topic.
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (5 June 2010):
 First off the right age to lose your virginity is when you're ready. 15 is not old and you shouldn't be feeling under pressure to have sex! Sex should be out of the question when you're under 16 because it's illegal anyway. It's an 'adult' thing, so you shouldn't be worried about being old when you lose your virginity. You're still young. If you're not ready, then you're not ready. You will be one day and that'll be the right time. It's about what's right for you, not what other people think.
The same applies for your second question. You'll get your first boyfriend and first kiss when the time's right. There's nothing to worry about! 15 is still very young!
And thirdly, the signs that a guy likes you... There's a lot of things, the number one sign being that he tells you! But if you catch him staring at you a lot, paying more attention to you than to other girls, making an extra effort with you then he's probably interested. If he's shy, he might seem nervous when you're around. Confident boys are more likely to flirt. Look it up on the internet and see if you can identify any signs. You could also just ask him how he feels...
Hope all this helps. Just please remember that what's right for other people doesn't have to apply to you. It's your life! Do what you feel is right when you're ready. Then you'll have nothing to regret. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Jex  +, writes (5 June 2010):
It's totally normal to feel nervous about those things. Let me start off by saying 15 is still very young to be worried about losing your virginity. A lot of young woman are waiting until after high school to be intimate with someone. It's completely your choice. The average age to lose your virginity is 18. So just because a lot of people you know are doing it, doesn't mean you have to. However, my advice to you would be to wait until you are with someone that you love and trust. If a guy pressures you to go further with him, it's a sure sign that he is not the right person for you.
Wait to find someone that makes you feel comfortable with yourself, so you're not nervous about the way you look. Your first time should be with someone who is caring and will wait as long as you need to. As for the pain, how much it hurts varies depending on the girl. As long as the person you are with cares about you and your comfort, and they take things very slowly and at your direction, it really won't hurt as badly as you may think. The first time is a special thing, and it's also a little awkward. You definitely want to be with someone that appreciates you and you trust fully before engaging in something like that.
In summation, if you're having doubts about things or you're uncertain, it's best to wait until you know in your heart that you are ready. And as always, make SURE to use protection no matter WHAT. Better to be safe than sorry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): There is never a 'right' age to loose your virginity. It all depends on the person. Now for me, I lost it when I was sixteen with a guy I didn't love. I don't regret it. Where as a lot of other people would regret something like that. What I'm trying to say is everyone has different views on sex.
As for getting the males interest, they thrive of confidence. A lot of males like a confident girl, not overly confident but to them an insecure girl is too much baggage. If you aren't looking for something special, just act confident. It does the world of good. However, I get the feeling you care more than I did so I think you should wait until you're in a loving relationship and are sure of the guy.
Signs to tell if a guy likes you? Play hard to get. Not too hard, because you want him to be interested. But he has to make the effort. Males these days think they can have whoever no matter how little they try.
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