A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago but things are very confusing. He told me he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want to be with me, but it's not because he doesn't have feelings for me. Since we broke up he's been making excuses to see me and spend time with me. When he broke up with me, he asked for a kiss and a cuddle twice and was gazing into my eyes sadly. I told him I didn't believe this was what he truly wanted and he winced and said 'please don't do this to me'. He's been taking me out for dinner once or twice a week since and each time, he sits across the table from me gazing into my eyes lovingly. Each time I ask him why he's looking at me like that, he says dreamily, 'I don't know but you're looking back'. He also began drunk texting me asking me how my day had been and who I had been with. Yesterday, I sent him a snapchat saying I was in Victoria's Secret with G (my friend, Georgina), and he replied with a frowning face saying 'Who is G'. I'm incredibly confused. He's saying to me that it's not what he wants but I can feel there is still something between us and I'm not sure why he's giving up on it. Mere weeks ago he was telling me we'd have beautiful children one day and we were made for each other. Our manager thinks he's run away from falling in love for the first time and he doesn't know how to handle it but I'm just not sure.I'm nervous as we're going on a holiday together in three weeks time for a fortnight. I want us to get back together and there are definitely still mutual feelings involved. Any advice??
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@WiseOwlE: No, I'm not a virgin. No, he wasn't my first. I'm 20 years old.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2015): I do believe this guy is full of it. He's not behaving in a manly way at all. His behavior is sounding so much like a "narcissist" that it's a bit uncomfortable, even reading about it. I just sense this guy is toying with you.
You need to grow-up and and get out of your imaginary world.
You're too starry-eyed to see what's going on here. I have a suspicion you are a virgin. Are you?
Either he's plotting a hit and run; or he's a gay guy in the closet. It just doesn't smell right. If he is straight, I still think he wants sex but no commitment. If he's gay and in the closet, he needs a beard.
BTW, if you don't know what a "hit and run" is; that's when a guy steals your virginity and dumps you cold.
Running from love? Bollocks!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2015): HiYour boyfriend split from you and it was his decision and he knows you still love him. To treat you this way is just downright cruel. What kind of manipulation is this? If he wants you back, then he should discuss this with you like an adult, instead of playing these games. If he doesn't want you back, then you have to ask yourself why is he doing this to you? I can only imagine that it's for his own entertainment. Could you imagine treating someone else this way? You've split up from them and you know they're in love with you. Would you torment them like this? He needs to grow up and get off the fence. If I was you, I would really try and sell your vacation ticket to someone else. I would not leave myself open to this crap. If he truly wants to do something about this, then let him try, but don't hang around waiting for some words or action from him, that I suspect he is enjoying withholding. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWiseOwlE: I don't think so as other than intimate eye contact and the kiss when we broke up, we haven't kissed or had sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2015): He wants to be friends with benefits.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 May 2015):
 You really should listen to this (which you wrote): ... He's saying to me that it's not what he wants...."
LISTEN to him.... and let him go on his way. YOU, on the other hand,... STOP trying to "outlove" him.... and get on with your life.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 May 2015):
 Don't have sex with him, don't cuddle or kiss. If he doesn't want to be with you, all he is doing now is PREVENTING you for getting over the break up and move on. He is USING the fact that YOU still want to get back together. So he can get some of that "girlfriend experience" without the hassle.
When you go on vacation, no sex, no kissing, no intimate moments, separate bed, pretend (if that works) that he is your brother or cousin.
I think you are holding on to HOPE that he will change his mind if you SHOW him how much you LOVE him.. it's not going to work, he already knows. He isn't doubting YOUR feelings, but his own.
Now IF he decides that yes, he does care and does want you back, fix whatever issues caused the break up BEFORE agreeing to getting back together.
One thing though, I don't think he wants to date again, but he will without DOUBT try and convince you that he MIGHT want to try again, so he can get some sex while on holiday, because you are there and he knows, willing enough... And when you get back home he "magically" don't want a relationship any more...
I think you are wasting your time on this guy. ALWAYS remember if a guy says I DON'T want a relationship... HE is speaking the truth. Doesn't mean he won't want cuddles or kisses or sex... he just don't want to have to work for it.
Don't settle for something half-assed!
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