A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I used to think me and my boyfriend had a wonderful sex life, we would always want to (I have a very high sex-drive) and always enjoyed it. Now things are different. He makes it seem like a chore, and when I want it and he doesnt, it makes me feel like 1) I'm not good enough 2) A tramp 3)Like he's lost interest. Overall it just doesnt make me feel good about myself. I always try to do something different and fun, but he just doesnt seem very into it. When we both were like half naked in bed, he said he didnt think there was enough time to do it, and kinda brushed me off. He event put a video game before it! I'm really upset and uncomfortable about this. What should I do?
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female
reader, Why Love  +, writes (24 January 2007):
My bf did the same thing until I told him that I wasn't interested in having sex with someone who could care less about our sexual relationship. I was ALWAYS the agressive one and he never initiated sex. I told him that it was a huge turn-on for me if he also initiated sex and that if he wasn't interested I was quite content to continue using a vibrator if he felt he couldn't do the job. It struck a nerve with him but I also have a man who aims to please or at the very least try to. It's not perfect but we're still working on it. Being sexy & seductive helps - dressing up in lingerie once in awhile, dancing seductively, watching (tasteful) porn together are all things you may want to try. Buy some flavoured oil to show him you have a wild side and you are willing to try something new.
But in the end it all comes down to whether or not you two have comparible sex drives. I like to have sex every day while my bf was content to once a week. Wasn't working for us. I only get to see him on weekends as he's too busy to see me during the week with work & studies so we only have sex on weekends. It's a little disappointing but that's why I have a vibrator. I truly believe in having sex before marriage - it's a trial to see if your sex lives will be compatible. It may not be the MOST important part of a relationship but it's definitely in the top 3.
A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (23 January 2007):
 Maybe your boyfriend is thinking that you only love him for sex...make sure that you are not giving him that vibe. Do things for him, like buying him something real special. Also try spicing things up...like lingerie or a sexy outfit that you only wear for him.
Good Luck
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