A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay my situation is this I've been dating this guy Rigo for about a month.Well he lives like 15 minutes away from me.I have a car and he doesn't.So yea when we want to see eachother I have to drive to him.We went on dates and I had to pick him up and drop him off.I know that he is only 19 years old and that its hard to pay for a car on your own.It didn't really bother me that he didn't have a car until others started telling me otherwise.My parents don't like the fact that I have to drive to him and pick him up on dates.Do you think its okay for a girl to drive to see her boyfriend and to drive him around on dates?Also my other situation is that we started going out on the 10th of June and well my birthday was on 2nd of July and well that was the first time we went on a date even though we had already hung out many times before.Well on my birthday he didn't get me anything at all.Do you think thats wrong of him for not buying me anything? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Alexander Rose  +, writes (9 August 2012):
Put very simply. You are dating your boyfriend, not your friends or family, and therefore you should be the one who decides what is ok with you and what is not.A lot of times people will try to force their opinions on others.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (8 July 2010):
 wow... so i should tell my gf i dont have a car then get chauffeured around.. oh but i dont have a gf..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 I didn't have a car until recently (although still waiting for my license so I cant drive anyway haha), but some years ago I had a boyfriend with a car. He always drove out to see me, he often came and picked me up, he was more than happy do drive me around for things, and we'd go places together in his car. I don't think I took advantage of him, but I enjoyed the freedom quite a lot, and by the looks of him he thought it was great to be able to drive around as well. I was the one who convinced him of bringing the car to town (it was in another city), just because it was so much more practical than bussing around (it took an hour by bus to get to each other).I realize I explained a lot now, which might be unnecessary. My point however is that I never felt guilty over not having a lisence or a car. That ex did help me on my path to start my driving lessons, but he never complained about me not driving. I don't even remember paying for gas. He had the car, he loved to drive, and he loved me and wanted to see me as much as possible. So why shouldn't he drive?Another friend of mine did it a little differently. She doesn't have a license either, and her boyfriend has both car and lisence. So they always drove around in his car, and he drove her around for errands of all sorts. What she did was pay for the gas, and then her boyfriend payed for everything else with the car. She thought that was fair. However, I don't think you should start demanding money from your boyfriend for gas, it needs to be something he offers to do himself.But what I do think is that this has more to do with being a gentleman. Women want men to be gentlemen and drive us around and treat us like princesses. May I point out that there is nothing wrong with altering the roles a little. You can be a "gentleman" and contiue to drive to see him, and I am sure he will return the favour and be a gentleman to you in other ways. Guys need some pampering too, and as you both wish to see eachother there is no point in not driving to see him out of some funky principles.
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A
female
reader, brendanrbd4ever +, writes (8 July 2010):
 my question to u is do u like this guy alot.. i know u been in dates already but. if u really like this guy alot it wouldnt matter the situation you guys are. when u like a person u like him for who he is it doesnt matter if he does not have a car or is poor. I was in the same situation with my boyfriend.. i have 4 years with him at the beginning it was me driving him around everywhere.. but i didnt care i love him and i loved being with him everyday.. and now everything is better.. we both got cars and we sometimes drive each other :).... so consider this if he didnt get u anything for your birthday.. why wont u talk to him.. straight out and tell him why he didnt get u anything.. if this is bothering you... talk it out it works better... good luck
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (8 July 2010):
I don't think it was wrong of him not to buy you anything, if it was your first date. He didn't really know you then. Did he even know it was your borthday? It could have been a nice gesture, but some women would have thought that was coming on too strongly and overdoing it. I once went on a date and the guy had bought be perfume (this was the 1st date!). I just felt awkward. Others also don't want to get the other something unless they are their girlfriend. I mean you say you "hung out" many times before you started dating, would you have been offended if he didn't get you a gift even if you didn't start dating? My guess is that he still felt that it wasn't appropriate or necessary to get you a gift. Maybe the date on its own on your birthday was what he thought was a celebration.
About the car. No there is nothing wrong with you driving to him, and as for your parents they are probably just trying to find reasons for you to leavethe guy as they want you single and continue to be their little innocent girl. If that is the best they can come up with they don't have much on him, obviously. I mean why on earth would it be a problem that you come and pick him up instead of he picking you up. Even by old fashion standards that wouldn't have been an issue as teens who are in love will wantto see each other no matter what.
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