A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: ....feeling very confused and not sure what to do.....boyfriend of 9 months tld me that he got drunk and cheated.....it was just a one off.....he told me 2 days after it happened (the first time he seen me after it happened....he told me straight away) he feels massively guilty and cant believe that he has hurt me so much.....he wants us to be together and has said it will never happen again....says he will do anything to make it up to me.....i love him so much and really do wanna make it work for us but i no longer have any trust in him.....will i get that back......how can i move on.....do u think i should forgive him and try and make our relationship work
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): I don't think I could have said it any better than Caring Guy, as usual he is completely correct. Cheating is a major dealbreaker esp this early in the relationship. Think further down the road and keep your chin up. There's someone better for you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 March 2011):
If you had said that you'd been together for say, 7 years, and that he'd cheated and then come clean immediately and such, I might have said take your time and see how you feel in 6 months. Why? Because I understand that people who have been together for a long time can screw up, and that there is more to lose by not taking time.
But...we're talking about a guy who's been with you for just 9 months. Yes, he came clean pretty quickly, but you need to question the commitment of a man who after just 9 months gets drunk and cheats. It's a poor excuse for a start, and the time that you've been with him is so short you need to question what he might do in the future. If he cheated within 9 months, what will he do in 3 years? Or what will he do if you have kids?
As it is, I personally think that you have more to lose by staying with someone like this. You don't have commitments together, you don't have kids, you're not married. I think a clean break may well be your best option.
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