A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So, the scenario is that Im with a man who has cheated in the past a couple of times..and every time he got caught his answer was that we were having problems..anyways, been together for 6yrs and Im not happy how everything is going..I have no trust just a month ago..I found out a girl who he had an affair with last year was calling him and they were speaking..she had no idea about me..now, he leaves his phone in my house yesterday and I noticed calls from this one number who he had told me prior that she was her friends girlfriend and that they've known each other for a long time, so, I requested her on facebook and we started talkin and I asked her how did she know my bf..and she said oh..I used to go out with his friend but were cool and Im like 21yrs old..so dont worry about it..she had no idea how long weve been together..and as soon as I told her who I was the phone rang and it was her..when I picked up she said..I was goin to tell him who somebody was spreading rumors..lol..I just cant do it anymore. I told him it was over and he had the audacity to tell me I"m a problem and that he doesn't need any of my headaches..oh, forgot I have a trip to Jamaica in two weeks with the kids who arent his..thank god were sleeping in separate rooms..but I really want him to take me serious!! I notice that when he messes up and gets caught cries like a baby cuz I have proof of something but when I dont he tells me he hasnt done anything and that it's fine with breaking up..so confused!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): im going through the same thing. its about to be 8 years and he has cheated over 15 times that i know of. im just now seeing the man he really is....im strong enough right now to leave and im proud of my self....i just started to really think about all the pain and disrespect and it just makes me feel like a fool...and im not...i take him back because of my love for him my heart and im sure u do to. if we used our minds more and did what its telling us to do we wouldnt stay with a man who cheats on us. our hearts and love for them is what keeps us, my advice is to use ur mind when something happens dont listen to ur heart do what ur head is telling u to do.....try it and be strong im moving out in nov i have 7 more months....i stopped having sex wih him and i told him to live his life and im moving on with mine. he has tryed getting me back and telling me what i want to hear but my brain tells me u have heard this before he doesnt mean it stick to ur plan!!! and it works....im sure 2 months before i move he will do soething big to tr nd get me to stay...im moving out of the state so its reallygoing to be over...i really have to say i feel good inside u can to just be strong and open ur eyez if ur the giver and u love him more then he has ever shown u leave him plan it in ur mind and start to at on it...and the fact that he doesnt admit to things says that he doesnt care to be trutful and is killing u inside and he doesnt care he just wants to contiune with the girls he see's on the side h doesnt want to change there is not guilt thats not good. good luck i hope i helped a little bit
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 April 2011):
 I agree with the other answers here. I think you have to question why you've invested 6 years in a guy that doesn't take you seriously. He has cheated on you several times, from the sounds of it, and he's likely to continue to do this. Why would you want to raise your kids with a guy with such little class and why would you want to risk your physical health -- he could bring home something nasty to you.Realizing that you can do better and are a worthwhile person is half the battle. I suggest you start to work on yourself esteem. Yes, you will feel bad -- you've found it comforting to be with him -- and that is NORMAL. What you need to realize though is that if you work through this pain, a genuinely worthwhile guy will come in and hopefully sweep you off your feet -- but you have to be ready for it. If you are still trying to fix your broken relationship, you won't be able to move on.I suggest hitting the gym (that always boosts one self-image) and going out with girl friends and having a good time. If going to Jamaica with him is going to cause issues, why don't you see if you can postpone the trip. I think it'll help with your sanity in the long run.I wish you the best and good luck.
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