A
female
age
30-35,
*el-new93
writes:heyi have been with my boyfriend 3 years this month, but i can't help doubting him. i know he cheated on me at the begining of our relationship (yes, call me stupid for staying) but it did really upset him and he did tell me about it.now 2 years later he hides his phone from me, if i secretly look through it there are texts from a woman nothing flirty or dirty that i have seen, he claims shes just a friend etc, dont get me wrong she is his customer as he works in a garage that his brother owns, its constantly on my mind these past few weeks he has been getting new items of clothing (not cheap items either) his mysteriously gained a 75pound pair of chinos and claims his friend that owed him money bought them for him, before that he gained a pair of trainers and a over priced polo shirt which he then claimed he bought off a shoplifter!he makes me feel like im going insane, i feel so worthless (hence why im still in the relationship) ive just turned 19 and i dont know what love actually is but i just adore this guy whatever he does i always forgive him, i just dont feel like i can anymore. please can someone guide/advice me. thank you for reading, x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): This has cheater written all over it. Dont stay with him. HE doest love you and thinks your a sucker to believe his crap. You can do much better. There are some things unforgivable and in my book its cheating. If hes cheating then it tells me that neither of you are ment to be together. When you love someone truelly you do not cheat because you do not have the urge cos your satisfied with what you have even through the good and bad times.
A
female
reader, cheannryl  +, writes (4 April 2012):
 If there's no trust there is nothing,there's no love.
Things only get worse if you are in a relationship that doesn't have trust.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (4 April 2012):
Walk away.
I'm guessing it's your first serious relationship and often that can make people behave like you are - always forgiving.
The problem is you don't know any different as this is your only experience.
You are young and there are plenty more people out there who will treat you better.
This guy obviously seems untrustworthy - he's cheated on you, he hides his phone from you, he claims he buys clothes from a shoplifter.
You can do better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): Anyone who cheats on you obviously doesnt love you and by staying with someone after they have cheated is like giving them a free pass to do it again and again.It DID NOT really upset him at all, he was just acting like that for your benefit because you are his regular sex life so dont be fooled when he said he was sorry, he wouldnt have done it in the first place if he loved you.And because you feel like you can forgive whatever he does he will have picked up on this over time and will know how to get away with it and make it seem like your fault. Dump him as quickly as you can and move on with life without him
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