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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Can somebody please tell me why my boyfriend cheated on me with someone and didn’t use a condom?I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few years. Our families know each other and we were at the stage of getting engaged.I was busy with work last Christmas and “neglected” him (that’s his reason). He met a girl and she really liked him. They had a fling for about 3 months before I found out. I wanted to leave him but he begged me to stay. He broke it off with the girl saying it’s not her fault, she didn’t know about me. I asked him a few questions about his fling with her.. he said it was mainly at her place and in the beginning they used condoms but towards the end of the relationship, they didn’t use condoms, he said she wasn’t taking any contraception.. he was just pulling out. This hurt me, because he always made sure I took the pill every night. He was so “safe” with me but with her, he was willing to not use any protection. WHY? He wasn’t serious about her…
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cheated on me, christmas, condom, engaged, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (3 October 2023):
 You ask why he had unprotected sex with the other woman. My gut instinct is that it was to sabotage your relationship. If she had fallen pregnant (hopefully she didn't but this is still a possibility), he would have been "safe" from going through with marrying you. Anyone who acts as recklessly as he did has a self destruct button.
But heh, it's YOUR fault because you neglected him. So, if you stay with him, is this what he is going to do every time he feels "neglected"? Like when you have to work? What about when you have children? They take up a lot of time and drive many a loving couple apart, let alone a couple where one partner is as selfish and stupid as your boyfriend.
I know it's scary to split up from someone with whom you have planned your whole future, but think long and hard what sort of future this is going to be and ask yourself whether you don't deserve better because there is one thing you can be sure of: he will do it again. And again. And again. Now ask yourself why you are still with him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 October 2023):
 Why are you still with him?
He has no respect or regard for you! At all!
He was willing to have UNPROTECTED sex with another woman and bring back ANY STI or STD to you, without a second thought. He also thought "pulling out" was "safe enough" to not knock her up as well.
He sounds like a moron. And you are NOT doing yourself any favors in STAYINg with someone who will CHEAT on you and then BLAME you for the cheating!
Have more self-respect, OP!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2023): You are too old NOT to know better!
This guy is selfish, possibly narcissitic and certanly dangerous!
The other woman sounds like somebdy who doesn't care if they get pregnant or an STD! Do you care?
You ask "why?". He was fooling around with both of you, because you (both) let him get away with it. At least, she dodged a bullet.
He's another "why" - he doesn't care about you.
He says you have negmected him andthat's why he went off to have sex with somebody else? Ha Ha Ha. What does he expect from you?
If you are still tinking about staying with this guy, you need help. If your family or any of your friends do not tell you the very same things I told, than they either don't know any better or they do not wish you well.
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