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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, I've been friends with him for 4 years, but i am a little worried. He has a lot of friends who are girls and most of them are his ex girlfriends they still come round and chat on the phone even flirt with him. I am worried that he may still have feelings or think of going back to them, I know if given the chance they would come back to him, I know he loves me and i don't think he would cheat on me but I am still worried... Am I being silly?
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (2 January 2006):
 Well, obviously you are not all that sure that he won't cheat on you or you wouldn't be worried. I think it is only natural to feel a little insecure when your boyfriend seems to be surrounded by ex girl friends all the time, but if you have been friends with him for that long then you should know his character pretty well, so you should already know if he is the type of person that would do something like that. I definitely think I would bring up the fact that it makes you feel a bit weird that he spends so much time chatting with exes, assure him that you are not asking him to stop but you jut want it out in the open. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2006): Whatever you do never make him choose between them or you as this will just presure him and push him away! My current boyfriend was the same when we first got together, I found that by showing an interest in what he was up to was enough for him to realise that he was maybe neglecting the fact that I was on the scene and his ex's needed to stay in the background so we could live the present! We have been together for over a year now and our love only grows stronger, What Im trying to say is hang in there make yourself known and make sure he is aware of the way you feel.
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female
reader, amiee  +, writes (2 January 2006):
 heya,
of coarse your not being silly you have a perfectly valid reason for feeling like this. i was not long ago in the same situation, so i know exactly what you are going through.
it hurts i know when you see the one you love with other girls even though they and you yourself know he belongs to you. but you must realise that the only reason these girls are flirting with him are either because they do not know they are doing it or to get to you. some girls have a pathetic need to have what they know they cant. but lets face it we all get like that sometimes it just happens that theyre deciding to lean towards him instead.
also i think maybe you need to think over trust in you relationship youve been together for a long time now and surely that means something. that tells me although i have not seen you two together that he cares about you deeply and yeah maybe a thought or two have passed his mind but thats it they've gone past.
and if you are this truly worried then maybe you should also consider sitting down with your partner and talk to him about your feeling maybe you need to know where you stand in the relationship just hearing that you are still his number 1 will take alot of the worry away from the current issue.
good luck and i know youll get through this and the outcome will always be for the better let me know how it goes :)
amiee xXx
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