A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy boyfriend and I are very much in love. But of late he has problem staying erect. This has never happened before. Once he was so hard and started to penetrate me but he wasn't able to penetrate fast enough and it just went soft.He does have a stressful working life but I feel like I have failed him and that maybe he doesn't desire me as much as before..Is it me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): Why do women always ask this? NO, it's not you--- it's his head, and how you respond is determinate on how the next steps go. You need to not over react, this includes over comforting him. You need to see this as an opportunity to vary the sexual fun and keep going. You also need to step up the nurturing, and doing everything you can to relax him.
See if an ED drug will help- they usually do.
A
male
reader, Universe Man  +, writes (6 June 2010):
It's never the girl. If a girl doesn't turn a guy on, he's not going to get to the point where he's in bed with her.
Sometimes it's physical, but usually it's psychological. If it was not a problem before it became a problem, it should go back to not being a problem.
In the meantime, maybe let him focus on you and your body instead of you both focusing on his organ. Let him make you feel good and make sure you let him know he rocks your sexual world.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): No Sweetheart it's not you, you haven't failed. Get him to see the doctors and try and help him relax, the more he stresses about this, the worse it could make it. Try not to make too be a deal of it, this isn't going to help.
Try doing other things in bed instead of full sex. Oral, mutual masturbating that sort of thing so he isn't worrying that he has to 'perform' but make sure you get him to see the doctor too.
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