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female
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anonymous
writes: my fiancess of 3yrs has just broken up with saying he doesnt want to be in a relatonshipbecause he feels he is too young (he is 21). it hurts like hell and i want him back.i recently went to a pary with some friends for a laugh and knowing that i was going and there would be lots of men my fiancee kept texting me. it ruied my night as all i wanted was him to be there. when the party was over i invited him to dinner as friends and he turned me down and hasnt text since.i had to ring him to sort out some of our financial stuff and he was very abrupt and said he'd call later.realy want him back but i dont think i can get him back and he wont let me move on cause if he knows im goiong out he textx and all i can think of is him and it ruin my night.please tell me how to get him back or at least get over him so that a text from him doesnt make me hurt so much inside
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female
reader, Smiler +, writes (11 June 2006):
 Hey there
firstly i'm sorry to hear your so sad :-(,its a painful place your at right now; everyone at one time in their life has been there where your at its not nice.... but i will try my best to help you through this ok.... well babe they say time is a great healer and helps you get over ex partners but if your anything like me i shuddered just hearing or saying the word ex cause i so much wanted him back..and like you if my ex had texted me the whole night it would of killed me to..... but hey i'm hear to tell you from experience that if you are strong and confident babe you can get through this and see the light at the end of the tunnel.... i know you can't see that light right now but trust me its there. i can understand why you hurt like you do cause you obviously loved him deeply, i think that its terible of him to text you like that i would cut all ties with him change your number if need be, but try to block him and all those painful feelings out cause it will be less painful that way, rather than thinking what you can't have any longer, keep going out with your mates and having fun... then i think you'll on the right tracks to getting over him... as for hurting part me personally i would find something to do in my spare time that kept me busy so i did'nt have time to sit around thinking about him and wanting him.. the painful side of this will take time to heal, don't jump straight in with someone new you'll just be on the rebound babe.... take time to heal go out with your mates have some fun as the saying goes laughter is the best medicine, try and enjoy life so you don't constantly find yourself thinking of him then before you know it you'll be standing in that light at the end of that tunnel rather than just looking for it ok babe.
i hope my advise helped you a little... good luck babe. if you ever need someone to talk to or just more advise don't hesitate to email me ok....would love to hear from you again..
You Take Care Sweetie Ok X
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (11 June 2006):
 Hi,
When you can't get your ex out of your head it’s all too easy to remain possessed by past passions. The only way to lay old ghosts to rest is to exorcise your ex!
Before you can move on, you need to let all those pent-up feelings out. It’s totally normal to feel sad, upset, disappointed, lonely and even downright furious!
Talk to someone you trust and bawl your eyes out. Punch your pillow and deface his photo if it makes you feel better: whatever it takes to squeeze out all that hurt you’ve been holding on to. If you keep your feelings inside, they’ll haunt you forever.
Now you need to close an imaginary door to stop those feelings creeping back in. Start by removing everything that reminds you of him. Change your room around so it looks different than it was when you were together.
List the reasons you’re better off without him and remember to include all his ugly points. Now make a list of the things you want from a boyfriend in the future. You’ll soon see that the past is best left behind you, while the future has much better things in store.
The ghost of your relationship will lurk for a while, so it’s important to stay strong everyday. Stop asking if he called when you were out. No more checking your emails obsessively and whatever you do, don’t be tempted to call or text him.
You also need to banish him from your thoughts, so no more dreaming about getting back together when you go to bed at night! This is the hardest part, but hang in there and you’ll get through it.
An experience like this will change you, and that’s good because you’ve learnt from it and you’re ready to move on as a new, improved person.
This is an excellent time to reorganise your life and set some new goals. Stop looking back and start looking forward. Your past passion is dead, let it rest in peace!
Hope this helped!
All the Best, fight your demons,
Phoebe
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): honey it hurts like hell, but look at the big picture everything happens for a reason. u cant make someone want to be with u. keep real buisy, if he knows ur going somewhere dont let him ruin ur night leave ur txt thing at home, dont bring it. he acts like that bcos he doesnt want u to meet anyone either. he cares still about u, but remember he doesnt want to be with u either. time will heal all wounds. u'll meet someone else down the road. most important he's part of ur life but not ur whole life so don't dwell on him so much. im talking from experience. what helped me is recognizing that i was thinking and feeling hurt and that's ok to do, but just recognize that's what's happening. say it out loud THINKING!
u'll think less if u try it. best of luck 2 u.
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