A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: me and my boyfriend have been dateing for over 15 months. i love him more the anything in the would, he is my best friend. he tols me that i am the only girl for him and all that stuff. and ive never felt this way about anyone before. but recently he just went away to college and he told me that he didnt want a girlfriend in college. so we broke up. now hes away and im stuck at home. all of the sudden he stops calling me, texting me and everything. i havent talked to in in over a week and he just left for college 2 weeks ago. i keep thinking about him and im trying to see if he will make the first move and text me first, but so far he hasnt. now i dont know if he still loves me or if he still wants to be my friend. do you think he is worth all the pain that i have? should i try to talk to him first even though he hasnt talked to me?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 September 2010):
At least he broke up with you, instead of stringing you along and possibly cheating on you later. College is full of options, lots of new people to meet such as girls, a lot of partying, tons of homework, and a ton of stress. You will understand when you get there. It's best to enter college single, I know very few relationships that have survived college the rest cut ties. In fact, I was engaged when I entered college, in which I later ended up breaking it off because I cheated twice. Not saying it's not possible but think is it really fair to you sit around and wait when he's busy, stressed, and doesn't have as much time for you as he used to. He wouldn't be able to really spend time with you until breaks, maybe weekends, and the summer thus limiting your relationship. Sorry he broke up with you but it's for the better. Don't pester him to be friends, give it about a month or 2 then send him a friendly text or message on Facebook. Since he's cut off contact and made it clear you're done then you need to move on just like he did.
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (9 September 2010):
When your bf left, he told you that he did not want a gf while he was in college, and he broke up with you. He has been brutally honest-this is surely painful for you but at least he has not kept you hanging or strung you along.
I think that for what he is concerned, your relationship is over, so you should not wait for abundant or regular communication from him. If he broke up with you it's precisely because he does not want to be tied down by specific obligations to you ( calls at certain times, daily e-mails,etc. ) while he is in college.
Don't cling to him- let him do his thing. I know you want to keep contact at least as friends- but don't push too much for that. You still see him as more than a normal friend, so it could be best for you just being brave and moving on.
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