A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i had a miscarriage last month 4 days later my ex. Boyfriend broke up with me i really loved him i have not heard from him at all not even to ask how my follow up appointment after the miscarriage was i have never felt so low we split a month ago i was 8 weeks pregnant we were so happy about being parents again we both have children from previous relationships what are the chances of him getting in contact with me do you think we were living together he told me he needed space and that to get my things and go i know i should hate him but i don't i still love him what should i do thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): There are underlying factors at work here. Unless you are leaving something serious out of your question/description, there is no reason for him to act like this.
It very clearly shows you how he deals with problems and it is also an indication as to how he might have dealt with problems that would arise in the future. You want someone that will be with you, not someone who will "bolt" every time there is a problem.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): People deal with loss in different ways. Some isolate themselves and need distance; while others face grief head on.Your boyfriend abandoned you because he may not have been strong enough for the both of you. I'm sorry to say, perhaps his reasoning to remain with you may have hinged on raising the child. I hope to be wrong; but you must put all possibilities on the table in order to move on.It does bother me that so often people writing these posts don't seem to have connection with their parents, or a close friend that is there during these most difficult moments. I don't know if it is because they alienate their families to be with their chosen mates, or just don't have close ties. In any case, that is what friends and family are for. They're better than any therapist, when you go through times like you are right now.If that isn't the case, I do offer my most profound condolences for the loss. Time is the healer, and you have another child to continue giving you joy. You must be strong because that child depends on you being at your best.That is the greatest motivator in the world.Never rule out grief counseling because it helps to share your thoughts and feelings, and get feed-back from others who are going through the same feelings. Two losses at once is devastating I know. You took the first step by reaching out.There is no way of knowing if he will return, but your have the responsibility of preparing yourself for the possibility that he doesn't.Someone is depending on you. You are also depending on your own inner-strength. You must work toward moving on, and acceptance for life as it is for you now. Take control and live life on your own terms. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."It's not about him right now. It's about you. Focus on yourself and your kid. Get busy arranging your finances,getting yourself some counseling, and reaching out to those you hold dear to you. You need their comfort. Put aside the differences, if only just for the time you need. You're young. You'll get through this if you believe in the fact that you can do this on your own. I'm sure you can.
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