A
female
age
41-50,
*rlyko
writes: Dear Cupid,My boyfriend and I were together for six weeks, everything seemed to be going just fine. We had fun together, enjoyed spending time with one another. He even planned a surprise afternoon for us. Wouldn't tell me where we were going and spent a week teasing me about it trying to make me guess what it was. Then the day we were supposed to go, instead when I met him he told me he needed a break because there was some "stuff" he needed to work out. I didn't talk to him for a week then when I finally did, he said he the only feelings for me was that of a close friend. After six weeks what else should he feel? Its not possible for us to feel anything else at this point is it? We have several mutual friends who were also very surprised by our breakup and he couldn't give them any actual explanation either. He said he still wants to be friends and hang out occasionally, but now he's avoiding me. I work in the building next to him, he works at a pizza place, I'm in the gas station in the next building, and he goes out of his way to avoid coming in. I haven't talked to him in three weeks and miss him every day. I want to try again because I don't think he gave it enough time but don't know how to go about without sounding demanding or pushing him away. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): If he is avoiding you, then there isn't much you can do, without seeming pushy. If he does seem willing to talk though, then maybe you could try and tell him that you would like to remain friends and do something together. And try and talk to him then.
But if he does only want to friends, then, as hard as it will be, you will either have to accept that and make the best of the situation, or if it is too painful, you might need to make a clean break from him and try and keep away.
I'm sorry this is so difficult for you right now. But this guy isn't the only guy out there for you. There will be someone out there who does want to be in a relationship with you. It doesn't sound like it's this guy. But someone is out there. x
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