A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hope I can get a little help with something. I moved in with my boyfriend recently and I pay money into the house to pay half of the bills and such which I am totally fine with. Due to me moving in, he lost his single-person council tax discount and I agreed that I would split that too. However, he is now asking for more money as the council tax has increased and I asked for a cost breakdown to see what the money I was handing in was being put towards as, just to keep me right on my spending. My partner has his own home and he told me that he is splitting his mortgage with me so that I was paying half of his mortgage too on top of the bills and the council tax.Before I moved in, he told me, and I agree with this, that he won't put me on the mortgage until we were both 100% comfortable and everything was working out okay. However, I don't find it to be totally fair to be paying for half of his mortgage when I am not on any legal paperwork to say that I own part of the home too. Am I wrong for not being happy about my money going to help him pay off his mortgage. My concern is, if we break up and he kicks me out, I have helped him pay some of his mortgage and I have not really benefited from it. Don't get me wrong, I am more than happy to contribute to the house as I am not expecting anything for free, but these seems to be a little unfair.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2022): You pay your way. But you don't pay for the mortgage you pay rent,you pay towards utility bills and council tax etc.
It probably comes to the same or more than if you paid some of the house. Only you did not pay a deposit so you saved a great deal of money there. And you have less responsibilities financially and worry wise. It's only fair you pay your share. Just because he bought towards the house before he met you does not mean you get a cheap or easy ride now. But he should itemise how much you pay for what. And give you a rent book with the usual privileges of renting a room. Don't forget if you rented a room anywhere else you would only rent the room and have use of kitchen and bathroom not whole house.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2022): These comments are w little unfair.
I recently did the same with my partner - partner owns the place so doesn't ask for rent as such. I pay half of all bills including council tax so that we both save money - he saves on the bills whilst I save on rent.
You shouldn't be paying anything towards the mortgage because you're right, he could kick you out at any point. He is your partner, not your landlord and so this needs to be addressed. If this was a landlord then you would pay rent anf have rights. He couldn't kick you out at the drop of a hat etc and so by paying that rent, you are binding an agreement.
Paying rent in your situation does not give you any rights and so he is taking the mic out of you by taking all this money from you.
If I were you i'd just move back home and save up but it's all on you, you need to seriously lay down the law as i've pointed out above and ask him what exactly you are getting from this arrangement. So far, the only beneficiary seems to be him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2022): Buy your own house if you want a house of your own. Good luck, it will take a long time, cost a great deal of money over many years and a lot of extra expense on decorating and maintenance. Your guy would be a total idiot to share what he worked so hard for with you when you have contributed nothing towards it. He is the one who should be wary and walk away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2022): I'll keep this short and sweet. Move your bum back to where you were living before you moved-in with this guy.
If he was legit and honorable, you wouldn't have any problem getting a breakdown of what you're paying and why.
Advice like this is usually ignored. Take it, or leave it. If I were you, I'd move-out! You're being fleeced!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2022): If he loses his single person's allowance when you move in then it is only fair you pay that difference. This happened with me when my guy moved in and he offered to pay it, he did not wait to be asked, that would make me think he is a stingy meanie. You have no rights with a house! You did not pay a deposit and pay for it all these years and look after the maintenance, repairs and decorating, so who are you to own some of it? You pay rent. If you want to own a house then buy one yourself. Its very expensive and a lot of hassle and responsibility.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2022): Treat the payment like a rent payment. Is the payment he is asking for a fair reflection of local rents? What were you paying in rent before? Is this cheaper? How long are you happy to continue 'renting'? Do you want to buy your own property? When?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 August 2022):
 OP,
You are not OWED to be on the house deed the moment you move in. You are not paying 1/2 the mortgage you are paying him RENT. The rent money COVERS half of HIS mortgage. This is not your home. The LOAN for the mortgage is in HIS name. NOT yours.
You have not paid the down payment, the various fees a new homeowner has to pay. This is HIS house. YOU are a tenant and therefore you have rights as a tenant. This also means HE can't just kick you out willy-nilly.
Why in the World do you think you are entitled to HIs house? Or part of it? If you were renting you wouldn't own squat either. You are NOT married. You are JUST BF/GF.
You should NOT pay his council tax tho. That is not on you.
I think you two should have done a budget BEFORE you move in and if it is going to cost YOU way more to live with him (and he is the only one benefitting financially) then don't do it.
Also, HAVE it in writing WHEN he DOES eventually put you on the mortgage and what it means LEGALLY and financially in case of a split up.
ALL this needs to be sorted out BEFORE moving in together.
Contact a solicitor or go through Citizen's advice for legal help.
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