A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. Just some brief background. My boyfriend and I were together for 7 years before we took a relationship break to work on ourselves. We have not seen each other for 2 months but he will be back next month. We have been having FaceTime conversations regularly while he is away visiting his mother. We both had some past baggage we needed to resolve and feel this time away has helped us grow individually and we want to give our relationship another chance because we never stopped loving each other and did not want to end our relationship. I just feel we are both different people now and have done the individual work to resolve our own issues. And I feel we are both in a better place to come back to each other stronger and wiser.The thing is my boyfriend has not told his mother we are back together. He said that he doesn't like to be wrong and that he has to wrap his head around it. I guess I am not understanding why he is having a hard time telling her we are back together. I definitely don't want to pressure him. It is in his hands. It is something he has to do when he wants to do it and something between his mother and him. But it sort of makes me feel insecure or wondering what the real reason is. What are your opinions?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2022): It is OP here.
He has told her!!!! All good now!!! Thank you all!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2022): You want him to tell his mum as a sort of confirmation that he is madly in love with you and committed and sure and shouting it from the rooftops rather than unsure. That cannot happen when you have broken up and had a break etc. It's not thought through and unrealistic. When couples break up and get back together there is a lot of work to do to get things right, he would be a fool to tell his mother now and she would be very wary of believing him. People want proof that things are ok again before they do that or believe that.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (27 April 2022):
 I know you were both together seven years, then you took a break to work on yourselves which is a good thing. You have not seen him for two months in person only on face time so its almost like you are both starting again from scratch, as by your own admission you are both different people now.
People change, people mature, people's feelings and way of thinking change as they grow older. It has been a while since you both dated, so its not going to be like it was before.
As for telling his Mum i think this is irrelevant, but as this is the question you are asking i can only assume that it is because you have not even met in the flesh yet, maybe he wants to have a few dates to see how it goes, see if the feelings are still there before he divulges the news to his family that you are back together.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 April 2022):
 He told you why.
"He said that he doesn't like to be wrong and that he has to wrap his head around it."
So for him, it's NOT a sure thing that the two of you will work out.
Which is fair.
Also, how much progress and working on yourself can you realistically do in 2 months?
And whether his mom knows or NOT that you two are giving it another go, is not important, for now. That shouldn't be the focus.
...............................
|
