A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I are on a break. Anyway, before, he'd never really make any new friends especially girls. Now all of a sudden he went out for his friend's 21st birthday and he added on Facebook 2 of the girls that were there. I got a little jealous of the one I'd never met, especially cuz he just met her and he doesn't randomly add people. So I mentioned it and he said that yeah he wanted to be friends with her obviously, otherwise he wouldn't have added her. And then he got a little irked because "he couldn't make any girl friends without me getting jealous." it's just that all the girls he's talked to in our relationship were the ones he knew from high school. I don't really make new friends and I've always avoided hanging out with guys so he wouldn't think anything was up. But now he doesn't want me to be so dependent on him to have a good time. So I'm thinking I should just start going out like he's started to. He said these girls were cool and he wanted to make friends but he reassured me that he wants only me and loves me and wants things to work out. Let me mention that we're on our break BECAUSE of my insecurity and jealousy :/ and the only way to get him back is for me to know without question that he'll stay faithful to me. He gets mad when i mention how it's hard for me to trust when I see so many others cheating. He says he's not like them an if he ever wanted to cheat, he wouldn't hide it and would break up with me first (not like our break but a legit breakup). So... I'm lost from here. I mean, I do know he loves me. But him making new friends especially who are girls is new and bothers me because it's new.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (19 January 2012):
 I'm in agreement with Rescuer.
Leave him alone - and leave yourself alone: you are fretting, worrying and passing judgment too much.
Do not try contacting him. You're supposed to be taking a break from one another, so TAKE it.
Focus instead on doing the things YOU enjoy and find worthwhile. Don't bother so much about what he thinks. Make friends with guys if you want - there's no rule against it - only I'd recommend you not sleep with anyone else unless and until your temporary break becomes permanent.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Ive dealt with jealousy myself. Bam. Im with a woman and thats it. any other guy that looks at her, i tell them to eff off. Simply put, I hang around men and know what most are like so I get possessive and protective. However, I am able to tell when that one guy is harmless and respectful... as he'll have my same traits. Now, to make that distinguishment one needs experience with people and in your case women. Until you have a valid reason to not trust a man, such as him cheating or breaking rules of your relationship with another woman in some set manner, give every woman the benefit of the doubt. They do deserve it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much. Best answer I've ever gotten
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