A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi all,My boyfriend and I have had a pretty good relationship for the last two years, and we both lead independent seperate lives even though we live together (I mean, we each have our own friends/jobs/social lives). He has always been really into online gaming but recently he has started gaming a lot more, at least 3-4 hours a night. It's taking its toll on our relationship because his online friends/online 'missions' on world of warcraft are always his first priority! He has bailed on dates to game and lied to avoid going out with me. He's also missed lectures (we are students). To me this seems like addictive behaviour but when we went on holiday he was perfectly happy not gaming for two weeks so it might not be. When I've discussed it with him, he has said that it's just his way of having fun, and I'm angry about it because it isn't 'cool'. Really I am angry because I think he loves his computer/fantasy world more than me, and I am sick of making excuses to my friends for him as to why he doesn't come out. We have sex a lot less than we used to. I keep thinking I am to blame for this relationship breakdown. I have put on weight and I am constantly stressed about the future/money/my finals, and I am probably not much fun to be around!so what can I do? Should I do anything to change my boyfriend or myself? I'm determined to make this relationship work!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): The only thing me and my bf fight about is when we're in a dungeon and he forgets to heal me or insists we go the wrong way (worst sense of direction of all time). We both have lives, friends, hobbies, but both of our careers require late hours so we started playing wow as a way to relax when we got home.Start playing. Start grinding. You'll have fun. Make friends. And even though it'll be a while before your toon is at his toon's level, just do what we did and send each other love letters filled with presents every time you pass a mailbox! WoW has only made our relationship stronger as we find the need to rely on each other to level and raid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 6 years now and have been playing WoW since BETA days (5+ years ago), on and off. For me it has always been a hobby as opposed to his "lifestyle" choice. I've always lived a reltively healthy and happy lifestyle of moderation between my bf, work, hobbies, quality time with family and friends etc. My bf ,on the otherhand is truly abissmal at balancing the important from mediocre aspects in his life (always has been to be quite honest), despite my constant attempts to encourage and help him 'practice' a bit more moderation - it never lasts. Reason I've decided to give my 2 cents today is in reply to some of the suggestions given. Whilst I don't condone my bf's excessive playtime (it has been the source of many arguements in our relationship, no surprise really), I am also fully aware now that I have been a part of the problem.Some have suggested playing the game also, and as a gamer myself, I'm not going to deny playing the game could be enjoyable for you both as a couple. But, speaking from experience now, subscribing to the game in order to spend more time with your bf is not always such a good idea - you need to evaluate your partner first before making such a decision; if he is playing the game too much you will only fuel his addiction further by seemingly encouraging it. Would you advise someone to go for a few drinks after work with their alcoholic partner in order to spend more time with them? Never. Gaming is also an addiction, and like ANY addiction has negative effects on those around you - so let us not take it light-heartedly. I would advise you try and plan things away from the game for the both of you to do, and if he gets to the point where he constantly cancels on you or makes excuses, you need to make a choice. If your partner won't agree to seek help for his addiction, sometimes a slap in the face with reality works wonders. You're clearly not happy living under his terms and feeling second best to a game - if he can't learn to compromise his time better and it is making you feel bad about yourself, take time off for yourself, from the relationship. Good Luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): World of Warcraft is sort of keeping my relationship in a way...but it's also hurting it. I've been going out with him for 2 years and 5 months. I started to play because well, he is always playing (He's been playing for about 2 years now, top guild and very well geared too). I don't play too much. Only about an hour or two every so days but when it comes to him he'll play from 6am to 10am, go to college then come home to play more until about 3am in the morning because he is "raiding" with his guild. He is always rushing on his work to play this game too. But what I did to keep positive was to just join and play the game too. While playing with him he kind of ignors me and just talks away to his friends on vent. I'll try to get his attention sometimes but that just makes him annoyed with me so I keep it low and just do my own things on there (I'm horrible at WoW, lol...). Sometimes I ask him to help me out with a quest or two but he just says that I can do it myself. It really hurts. He puts internet friends before me. What I try to do is just keep calm with him and let him play. I just don't like it when he's away from WoW because then he pouts about it and ignors me too. So to keep our relationship strong I just play and try to talk...WoW with him...(though that's all he ever really wants to talk about). I really love him, he's such a fun guy to hang out with when he's not on WoW or playing any other game. You really just gotta keep strong and if you feel the time has come to just end the realtionship because you'r both unhappy then...well go for it if you truely think that's what you should do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): It's just a phase your boyfriend is going through. You think 3 to 4 hours a night is bad. Mine is on it any chance he can get. Setting up raids or whatever he does. I gripe about WOW all the time and it just pushes him away. So you need to find something to make you happy. You can get a WOW account and play with him or you can do your own thing. Join a gym or call a friend and set up a day with mani's, pedi's and a massage. But just remember, the more you dwell about it the unhappier you are and the more you gripe about it, the more you push him away. So let him go through the phase. You will get him in the end.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): sorry for the late answer, but you should join his guild.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): Me and my b/f have been dating for 9 months. I did not know anything about this WOW until a month into our relationship. It wasn't so serious then was only occasional but recently that's all he talks about thinks about and breathes about. I can't stand it. I work 2 jobs and when I finally come over after a week of working straight he is playing WOW and I have to be the first to say hi. He won't even get up to give me a kiss or anything. He has made promises to spend time with me watch a movie or something and I'll be waiting til 2am before I finally just go to his room and go to sleep and when I wake up he is already at it again. My Grandma passed away this Christmas Eve so my Dad had to leave on Christmas (yesterday) to go to Utah for the funeral and he said he would come over and spend Christmas with me and my family and he bailed to play wow. He told me I was too needy and would be fine with out him. We use to go fishing or out to eat or to a movie all the time and now he just wants to play WOW. I don't want to sit on his couch all day especially when I have a day off. I just want to spend some time with him I want to feel that he still loves me like I love him. I don't get any attention from him and when I ask to go out with friends or go do anything he gets mad and tells me if I do to pack my things and go but he won't get off WOW to spend time with me it really hurts my feelings. I absolutely hate WOW and can't stand hearing about it because it has ruined our relationship that use to be so great. I don't want to leave but if this is something that will never go away I know I will never be happy like I was before. I just wish WOW would go away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): A lot of anti-WoW people here...
For those who see it a an "emo, virgin, loser" thing to do, those people obviously shouldn't be giving any relationship advice or in any relationship for that matter since they still have a lot of learning to do about the world.
I'll give you ladies some insight from "your boyfriend's" perspective.
People need to understand that WoW is a form of relaxation for some. Some people read, some people watch TV, some people drink alcohol, some people play a video game, etc. The problem isn't the game, but the players lack of self control when it comes to moderation and just compromising for the sake of the relationship.
I'd suggest first trying out the game with your significant other. If your not into the playing this game or video games in general, then whatever you do, don't bash WoW when talking to your partner. That'll just push them away and cause them to resent you since it's something they happen to like. Instead, tell them that you want them to be able to play the game, but you want to make sure the two of you are also spending enough quality time together.
If he/she can't agree to that and form a compromise, then maybe it's time to end that relationship and eventually meet someone you mesh with better. This is obviously a tough decision to make, but your happiness is #1 and he should feel that way too.
I'm a married man with a kid and a full-time job and I play WoW. There was a time when I use to play more often, but I cut back to an amount that fits my lifestyle (wife happy, lots of quality time with my child, bring home the bacon, etc). My wife doesn't play video games, so option 1 of her playing with me didn't work, but she respects the fact that it's still something I enjoy doing. She's never asked me stop playing "or else," since that is never a good option to take when trying to resolve a relationship conflict. Plus, she wouldn't want me to do that to her (and I wouldn't). Instead, she told me she wanted to spend more time together and I then took it upon myself to rearrange my playtime schedule. I still get to do what I enjoy on my own time and her and I have our time together.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): I'm in the same boat. My bf and I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years. We're both gamers and he got me into playing wow. He's been playing 4+ years and is very well 'geared.' I play casually, but he plays constantly. It went from a few hours a week to every day, the second he gets home from work, to 1-2am. I used to think his interest and skill was cute, and innocent....but it isn't.
He's obsessed with the game, he's on it morning, noon and night. He has even taken it to work to play it(he's a doctor!)He takes it on vacations, every where he goes. We recently moved in together. I've tried to get him to watch tv with me, but he says he doesn't like watching tv, So he brings his laptop into the living room. He's even tried to eat dinner with the laptop next to him because he's killing a boss for the 100th time and doesn't want to let his guildmates down. I go to sleep alone most nights, as he says he'll "be in soon" but never does. Last night he joined me at 3AM. Btw, I am a good looking girl in good shape, and despite that, we barely have sex anymore, which hurts me a lot.
Recently, he's gotten worse. Last Saturday he asked me to switch our tickets to the theatre because he signed up for a raid to "audition" for a top guild. He backpedaled when he saw how angry and upset I was, to avoid confrontation, but he could not hide his disappointment and was completely despondent for an hour, saying how he "felt bad" having to "let them down" (who down? invisible online people he doesn't even know?) and having to cancel his audition. I couldn't believe it. That's when I realized that this was a far more serious problem than I thought. He cares more about disappointing his online friends than he does to his real life girlfriend.
Any attempt at trying to get him to cut down or stop and he calls me a "control freak" or accuses me of not respecting "his private time." He acts like I'm trying to take his life away from him, and deprive him of everything he holds dear. He has no clue how much hurt this game is causing in our lives. As a gamer myself, it took a lot for me to actually complain about his gaming, so that should tell you something. All I can say is, this addiction is real, and it's something that he's not going to give up easily, and I don't know how much longer I can tolerate it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): I was engaged. He had played WoW before we even started dating. let up on it, and in year 2wo after the engagement started it up again.
My nagging, eventually ran him off. BUT he quit his job for wow. things only get WORSE. I was paying all the bills including the house and two new car payments. Until I decided to disconnect comcast. He packed up and left. Lived in his friends UNFINISHED basement. Just so he had internet. and a free place to stay. needless to say he hit rock bottom. the engagement was called off, and laer I found out he met a girl on wow he had been sleeping with (so he was cheating on me) and she lived about 30 min away from our home.
Currently I am engaged again. Going into this relationship, I knew he has previously been a wow addict, and OPENLY admitted being an addict to the game.
He played moderately, and I didn't mind, because he seemed in control. Now we are 3 years into our relationship. Engaged. He was fired from his job because he stopped showing up to work because he would stay up from 4 PM until 9AM playing WOW and go to bed during the day.
Its an addiction. He has no motivation to find a job, says "he doesnt have time to type resume" because he's on WoW 16 hours a day.
I see my past (from my ex) becoming my future.
I dont know how to stop this epidemic. It seems to be in our "Y" generation.
But all I can say is it only gets worse.
And now I currently found out hes been adding females on his facebook from his "guild"
The addiction leads to cheating.
And they hit rock bottom. No one can control it bu themselves.
And believe me nagging doesnt work.
Only couples therapy (if you can afford it)
and trying to talk it out, (which they dont want to admit they are addicted, which is the start of the 12 step program)
Goodluck.
Getting help, since it is an addiction, is the sooner the better.
Im age 25, hes 26.
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female
reader, BuBbLeS_rOx  +, writes (22 September 2010):
Guilty charged risky trust me yea it can suck but there are a few things you can do before just kicking this guy to the curb. My boyfriend is a WoW dork too; plays at least 6 hours a day most of the time more. I did not want to be a nag but I got so sick of always coming second to his game that I sat him down and we talked about it. It worked for a wail then he was right back into it………. Even stole my money to buy a new headset and multi button mouse. I was so upset that I desided to give WoW a try………to make a long story short I hated it. So I stopped playing and the connection between us got 10 times worse. I only got to see him once a week on weekends because I was off to college and he was at his mom’s house still playing WoW. So then I took the advice and turned off the internet……..this only made it worse when he found out it was me he got really angry and things got out of hand. I have tried everything even always taking him out to nice places and trying new things with him even playing different games with him but nothing seems to work……..I still love him but if no one can help me come up with another idea I’m afraid this won’t last.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): My boyfriend is addicted to WOW and it has been quite traumatic for me. I've missed out on a lot of time and love from him and in turn I cannot give him the time as when he does decide not to play I may have organised a night out with girlfriends! It got a lot worse recently when I found out he was having cybersex with a girl who is on there and actually very good looking (saw her facebook profile)because I found the photos on his laptop. It gutted me and I am still reeling...the worst thing is he wont give her up because she is part of the group and apparantly I wouldn't understand how long it can take to find great people on wow! So everytime he plays on there its like he's inviting a girl who he's been cheating with into our home...I hate this game and I hate what it's done to an otherwise great relationship!
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female
reader, Bensgirl +, writes (26 August 2010):
 World of warcraft is a terrible game, it's as addictive as cocaine to most people. I have story of my own, actually. BBut i actually got my boyfriend to..quit. How? I dont know..but maybe hearing this story will help. Well, it started off perfect, amazing, talking to him is so natural and we'd have the best conversations all day long on the phone, ones girls could only dream of. He would say things girls could only dream of a guy saying, then he started back up at wow. It wasnt sooo bad at first, I mean he would still talk to me sometimes as much as he used to, but gradually over time I noticed that the game had become his first priority. I noticed that the game slowly took my place and took over his mind, the game was so powerful he would choose the game over me anyday..and I'm completely sure that the game made him happier than I did, which he admitted later on in the story.
Our conversations lasted all day long still, but we wouldnt even talk..it would be me desperatly pouring my heart out and crying for attention, I would say very long scentences and tell him everything on my mind and all I would hear was his fingers tapping quickly against the key board for 20-30 seconds before he would reply "....what?". In reply to my long thpughts. I would repeat it again..knowing he heard me but he just was too busy talking to his new "loves" on worldof warcraft to pay attention to me. I would again, hear typing then..."You're so weird."
Those lonely conversations lasted all day long from sunrise to sunset and I felt like I was suffering..the pain and neglect of knowing something else had taken him..stollen him, that he loved the game more than he loved me killed me every day, every second and every word I spoke made me cry. He would say "Go to bed. Just go to sleep. I will talk to you all day tomarrow and I wont play wow I promise baby.." And the next day he'd talk to me for about five minutes before squeazing every hope I had out of me by breaking his promise and playing it again...all day.
So..I was so BROKEN inside that I couldnt handle anymore..the game had completely killed me inside but I wanted to stay strong for him, I wanted him to be happy because I thought the game was his only way of being happy. But one day my younger sister who played wow on the same server as him reported to me that a girl online gave his character bunny ears and giggles at him, then stood so close to him their characters looked as if they were holding hands. She told me who the girl was so I went on his account and messaged that girl "Stay away from my boyfriend. Kay? kay." .
It turns out my boyfriend was a guild master, he had so many responsiblities on the horendus, evil game that his guild members mattered more than I did. He got very angry with me and didnt stand up for me when all his guild members yelled "YOUR GF HAS A PENIS!!", "Control her!!", "What a bitch!", "I want to send her threatening messages!!!". all of that was in the chat box and all he said in replay was "Okay, okay". That stabbed me. That entire day he was bitterly, morbidly angry with me. I stayed with him that day because I love him, I love him more than anything and I knew it was world of warcraft talking and not him.
The day after the big fight I showed him everything on this website and on this page..for the first time in what seemed like forever he heard it..he listened to the horror stories of girls being so fed up they left, he heard about all the guys doing the same thing he was doing,,he heard me cry..and he quit world of warcraft. He quit it for good. Maybe try reading your boyfriend all of these things, tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel and tell him that if world of warcraft is better than you are, remember to always show your love no matter how hard it gets. Addiction to this game is almost impossible to beat, but just remember the good old times before you think about leaving, good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Boy do I understand. WoW has been in my life for just over 2 years now. It started off with just a few hours a week and now he plays from the time he wakes up until about 4 to 6 am. He has gained about 60 pounds and always yells for me to bring him food and drink. I think the mouse is permanently stuck to his hand. I provide the household income. I do all the household chores. When I complain he just says well at least I am not in the bars drinking and cheating. No, but if this keeps up I might be!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): Un plug the internet but dnt tell him you did
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): my fiance is hook on what i call warcrack.... at 1st it got on my nerves .... i hated it ... then he got me to play it and i understood how much fun it could be ... now i no lonnger play b/c it's just not for me... i've learned to enjoy when he plays.... when he puts on the headphones (yes everyone headphones) I know I have an evening to myself... i watch girly crap tv ... and i love it... but he does make sure to give me a few nights a week so I know I'm more important....
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): Girls, girls ! I will be honest, WoW sucks. Only losers, virgins and emos play that crap. All of you complaining about having a brain dead boyfriend that only plays that and doesn't give you the love and attention that I am sure you deserve, just dump the idiot. There are more men like me out there :)
By the way, my best friend is addicted to this crap, we should all start a petition to ban this crap from our countries :/
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): This game sucks. My boyfriend does not understand the concept of moderation.
I moved to another city with him so that he could work at his parents' business, but he's quit that job now and plays WOW all day. So now I'm isolated in a new area, with a deadbeat unemployed boyfriend who sleeps in until 3, plays wow until 6 in the morning, and has no interest in looking for work.
Honestly I resent him, and I feel STUCK. I still have feelings for him, which makes this harder. Any time I bring up how I feel about his gaming, he avoids eye contact and/ or rolls his eyes. It's like talking to a brick wall.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): My boyfriend is really addicted to world or warcraft I tried playing before I only played a week but it bored the hell out of me, I hate that game with a passion, my boyfriend gets so into that game you have to scream at him just so he listens, he's always late for work he finished school so he could get a new job but he's not even looking all he does is play, he keeps whining about how he hates his current job and he wants to quit, but we have a 10 month involved so thats a no-no, I threatened to leave him because of that game and because he would rather play then watch his son he always ask his mom or dad or brother watch him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): My boyfriend and I havent been together but a few months and things are already getting worse with his addiction. When we first got together he never mentioned the game never played... i didnt even know he played then he started going over to his friends house to play but would tell me to come get him when i passed by on my way to his house. He works offshore...in a week and gone a week. The last two times he has been home he has gone to his friends house to play WoW from around ten in the morning to 6:30 the next morning on more than one occasion. How the f**ck does someone stare at a damn computer screen that long? So it goes from blowing me off for a few days the one week he is in from work to coming home from work a day early and not telling me so that he can go play WoW. this is bullshit. I dont understand how someone can play the game so much and it not get old. As much as they play it its not like something new and intriguing is gunna pop up every few mins. How does it not get old? I will never drop to that level and join him in playing. I have a life. I am in nursing school and have a great future planned out for myself. I jus pray that he realizes that there are more important things in life than a f**cking computer game.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): Like I've done before, I've written here a couple times...and I'm back to it. The other day, when our roommates were also playing, and my boyfriends cousin was playing WoW I was just playing around stealing his mouse and trying to just get attention for a couple minutes...he got angry with me and told me I was being annoying and just looking for attention. I got fed up after all that, finally telling him I was just tired of him playing WoW all the time and if it was more important than I was...his response didn't surprise me at all..."It is" he said...his cousin laughed and said "you should have known that was gonna happen when you signed your contract in this relationship" getting pissed I said there was no contract and that I was just tired of taking second in his life...There's more to the story, but I just can't really remember all of what happened, I was too upset and just went to bed soon after, not fully kissing him goodnight...he asked if I was grumpy, without stopping on my way to the bedroom or even without looking at him I said, well obviously...and just went to bed....around 2 in the morning he came to bed, around the time I was actually asleep...I was slightly woken when he got into bed and he tried to cuddle and kiss me and stuff, but I just moved and turned away...Things in my relationship are getting worse...I don't want to end it because I love him so much....it's just crazy...but he's not in this relationship anymore, he's in a relationship with WoW and I think he pretty much married it...I hate being in a one-sided relationship and I'm about to end it before he ends it because I'm getting too annoying and clingy...It's just so sad....
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): I knew I wasn't the only girl with this problem, but I had no idea that there were so many of us! I play WoW on occasion, but really the only reason is so I can spend some time with my boyfriend because he's always on. Recently he created a guild on a private server, and now that's all he does! He keeps telling me about all these responsibilities he has and how he needs to check in all throughout the day to make sure that everything is going well-and I just want to shake him and say that it's NOT REAL. If he got a job then he would get PAID for responsibilities that he seems to love. Yes, the game can be fun, but when your girlfriend is crying herself to sleep because you won't leave the screen for an hour to snuggle or even look her way, then there's an issue. I love my boyfriend to death and I know he loves me, but it hurts when I spend a good chunk of money and travel (sometimes up to two/three hours) to go into the city to visit him for a few days and all I see is the back of his head. He tries to get me involved in his guild, but that is not how I want to spend my time when I am with him. Not only does he play when we're together, but almost 24/7 during the week. I know that if I can't reach him through the phone then I can certainly reach him through WoW. Half the time when I am logged on I am just trying to have a conversation with him, I'm not even playing the stupid game.
I actually brought up the issue with him last weekend, after I asked him what he wanted to do this weekend (I wearing just my sexy new bra and panties and hinting at sex, mind you) and he replied "play Wow." He said that he would never let a game come between us. One hour later he was talking on Vent and doing an instance with guild-members while I was sitting on his bed, staring out the window with only a half hour until I had to catch my train and no chance that we would spend my last bit of time together. I love him so much and we're even planning on moving in together in the fall, but if he continues to play WoW as much as he does, then I may have to call it quits. I shouldn't have to worry about being second to a video game, none of us girls should.
I just needed to share my experiences I guess, I'm glad that there are others out there who can understand!
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reader, kristini3 +, writes (30 April 2010):
*THIS GAME NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED*
It has brainwashed my boyfriend and im about ready to kick his loser tail to the curb. He has no job and just sits on the computer alllll day alllll night. Im soooo sick of hearing his friends talking to each other about guilds and raids! There is a youtube video by Jace Hall called "I play WOW", that him and his friends decided to dedicate to me. Not even funny. Im just sick of it and I have lost all patience with the game. Recently, i have been "accidentally" flipped the power switch to the computer modem off and its given me a couple good nights rest, but it sure doesnt stop anything. We just all need to give them an option...turn it off or get out!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): *This game needs to be destroyed* There has been a few nights where i "accidentally" flipped the switch to the internet to make him get off the computer. He never found out what happened and I went to bed LMAO!!! But it didnt help anything. He's so addicted to it and I'm tired of listening to him and his online friends alllll day and allll night. Im breaking up with him. LOSER!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): Now, i'm just a kid, so ive never actually been in a serious relationship, but i know what games like WoW can do to relationships.
Personally, i have played WoW for about a week, but i didnt see wat was that good about it so i got bored of it and stopped playing.
Anyhow, you should probably either
1. get him to play another game that maybe you find an interest in too
2. give him the pick and choose. if he chooses WoW over you, theres a lot more guys out there.
as i said, i am a kid so my advice probably wont be the best... but good luck to you and hope things work out
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): Warcraft is an addictive game for many reasons. It provides an escape from reality, measurable and reliable rewards for success and a pseudo-social environment.
But for an addiction to form, more is necessary than simple exposure to the game. Not everyone who plays Wow is addicted. By the same token, people can become addicted to many things, not just computer games.
Your boyfriend's addiction to Warcraft may or may not have anything to do with how much he loves you or how comfortable he feels in your relationship.
Wow is an immersive game, providing an escape from a reality he may find unpleasant, unrewarding or even frightening for countless reasons, which - as stated above - may or may not have anything at all to do with your relationship.
Your first objective should be to have an open, heart-to-heart talk about what you are observing in him, but your focus shouldn't be on reprimanding his behavior. It should be to understand - and help him understand - the reasons behind that behavior without judging.
It is important to note that he may not even be consciously aware of the reasons he finds it compelling to spend time in a virtual world instead of the real one, so don't go into the conversation expecting concrete answers on his part right from the beginning. He may not be able to give them.
You can't really do anything to "free" him of Wow, but you may be able help him to understand the reasons for his addiction to escaping from reality. If the root cause is *not* unhappiness with your relationship, then you may also be able help him to find the courage to face whatever *is* driving him into a fantasy world. Finding satisfaction and happiness in the real world is the key to "growing out" of addiction to virtual worlds.
Everything I've written is from first-hand experience with being addicted to Wow myself. I have a painful break-up with a woman I loved dearly and a wealth of insight to show for it. I hope you can avoid the broken relationship part. ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): duh the answer is easy!! do u think he loves u? do u think he cares about ur feelings? does he care about ur day? then why isnt he attendin to them. my love quit for me after we were only together for a month and he always gets off when i need him. now weve been together for 3 yrs and about to move in with each other. if u do leave him true love will always follow its soul mate
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): I've messaged on here before. It was Easter weekend this weekend, and we went to his aunt and uncles house for a family get together. For the past 10 months I've really gotten close with his family and really enjoy spending time with them because they don't have their faces glued to a computer screen or a giant TV screen like the one my boyfriend bought so his gaming experience would be more enhanced. They talk about things like the exciting time they had at their jobs, or what they've been doing in school, or the new dirt bikes or four wheelers they bought. My boyfriend and his cousin just played the entire weekend on WoW, it angered me so bad. When all the little kids were getting ready to go hunt for eggs he was still sitting upstairs staring at his computer, next to his cousin who was also playing. He asked me what I was doing when I was following the kids downstairs, I had told him that I was going to spend time with HIS family, he glared at me for a moment and I told him that we came here to spend time with his family for Easter, not so he could just sit and play the stupid game.
I used to play, about over a year ago...he got his roommates addicted to playing, and they are getting bored with it every once in a while, but all he talks about is going to talk to his guild, doing a new ICC progression with his guild and duel spec-ing his rouge or whatever....it drives me insane when most of our conversations consist of just WoW...I quit playing the game because all I did was spend my time on there and I got sick of it, I wasn't any less bored than when I wasn't playing I was just numbing up my mind even more so I wouldn't notice how bored I really was...
It's frustrating and just plain sickening...
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reader, stupidboys88  +, writes (2 April 2010):
oh my god its sooo good to see someone else who is in the same boat...
my boyfriend has been playing since before him and i got together... and at first i was like okay cool whatever its a game...until i started noticing HOW OFTEN he played.. he would come to my house and bring his computer and just play and play and play... it gets to the point where when he's playing i can talk to him and he doesnt say a word back...not even "huh?" like ive said "i love you" to him and he doesnt say a damn thing back to me.. nice huh???
so... me being the oh so amazing girlfriend that i am... said what the hell lets see what this is about so i tried playing it... its an ALRIGHT game... not the greatest but alright... something to do when your extremely bored and theres literally NOTHING ELSE to do... so he gets all excited that i tried and went out and bought me the expansion pack or whatever its called... yeah.. woo... guess whose officially obligated to play!!!
and i hear most of you about the whole going to bed thing... ive gone to bed the last month WITHOUT HIM and when im getting up to start my day hes coming to bed.. then he wonders why im so "moody" and "edgey" with him....
i love him to death and we havent been together long but as some of you have said...if it keeps up we wont be together ... much longer...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): Well,we're all together on this...I've been dating my bf for 4 months now and in the beggining he didn't even mentioned the game. Now that i got to know him well i learned that he started playing wow in 2004 and he has been playing ever since. He even stopped his undergrad course for 3 hole years just to play this game,which is ridiculous. The only nights we can spend together are during weekends,since we dont live together.Well, it's very simple, i go to his place friday afternoon and he's playing. Sometimes i convince him to watch a movie with me. During the evening he plays again from 8pm to 6am,i swear. Then he goes to bed all tired and sleeps until mid afternoon saturday. He wakes up and starts to PLAY. It's unbeliavable!!!then i fight with him until he takes me out for dinner with the worst face ever and when we get back he just goes right to the computer and plays until 6am. Again he sleeps until sunday afternoon and that's it,he takes me home and probably goes back to this game.He knows that i can't sleep with the pc lights on,but he doesn't even care and just tell me to put the blanket on my face. I start my week at university completly tired and he just misses his classes that his father is paying for. He was supposed to finish his civil engeneering course last year,but because he can't stop playing he will only finish [if by any miracle he stops playing] in 2013 [he'll do 5 year course in 9 years MINIMUM]. Do I even have to talk about sex life?
I've tried to talk to him,to convince him to go to class because he is really smart and only fail the classes because of attendence,to play less. It's not even about giving me attention,it's about his career and his future. I don't know if i'll be a part of it,but i really wanted him to see that he alredy wasted 6 years of his life and i dont want him to do this anymore. That's it more or less...it was good to see that i'm not the only one in this terrible situation...
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): My boyfriend is also obsessed with playing this game. He talks to me about the people in his "guild" as if they are our real friends that we've known for years, when they are actually just other gamers whom he has never met!! It's so frustrating! Our sex life is suffering because he wants to be online playing WoW all night, instead of coming to bed! I even tried spicing up our sex life with roleplay for him, but do you know what his fantasy is? Me giving him oral sex while he plays WoW!!!! That is so messed up. I just want to take his stupid computer and smash it into a million pieces, but he loves the game so much, he'd probably just go buy a new one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): I play Wow, and so does my boyfriend, he raids at night from 12p.m to 3a.m and doesn't even come to bed after the raid is over. He came to bed and ten this morning :(. I feel like it's my fault because I play too, but I tell him constantly how much it bothers me and he really just doesn't care. I just love having him in bed with me, and I try to bargain with him, which is soooo sad, that he at least go to bed with me a couple nights a week. As you can imagine, it's very hard to have sex when your boyfriend isn't in bed with you. We argue constantly about it. I feel like he talks with his online friends, laughs with his friends, spends all night with his online friends so maybe he should just be in a relationship with his online friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): I should have mentioned this in my previous post, but just go to the World of Warcraft general discussions forum and type in words of interest in the search bar. You might be amazed by what you find out. I wasn't even aware that there was a social aspect to the game, let alone a sexual one. My boyfriend even used the "Everybody else was doing it" defense for his inappropriate online behavior. Turns out, everybody else was doing it. (Some people really the play the game for the game alone though.) My boyfriend described it as thus: Some women in the game know that their gender makes them a rarity and they flirt relentlessly as they're (maybe for the first time in their sad lives) seen as diserable to some of the males (who also might be experiencing female attention for the first time). In my boyfriend's case, he flirted back (to a woman ten years his senior!) because he said it was "exciting," though not "real." Sadly, a relationship - of sorts - sprung up organically from these encounters (being in the same "guild" helped considerably, I'm sure). But apparently it happens. Probably a little too often.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): There's a seedy underbelly of World of Warcraft that I feel girlfriends need to be aware of. Your boyfriend might be gaining more than you expect from all of those hours he's logged in front of the computer. World of Warcraft has accessed the whole scope of human emotions through "emoticons." The characters can slap one another, express disapproval, etc but they can flirt, kiss and manipulate the controls to even have sex in the game just as easily. This would be funny except that the "guilds" in the game produce a sense of companionship, familiarity and dependability among certain players (they chat all night long anyways). If I had known all of this earlier, it wouldn't have surprised me when I discovered private conversations between my boyfriend, who played World of Warcraft... And his "online girlfriend," who also played the game (in a different state). I'm sure you feel like your boyfriend is already cheating on you with a video game. I don't want to alarm you or make you paranoid, just educate you because I wish I had known about World of Warcraft's debauched underbelly earlier. They talk about sex in such an uninhibited manner that it embarrassed me when I found the conversations. Not just the two aforementioned people, but practically everybody. Sex found its way into the video game, naturally, and I feel like that's likely a huge draw for a lots of people now. As my boyfriend said, "There are no real world rammifications to discussing sex [with each other] when you don't intend to ever meet that person." But of course, there are. My boyfriend wasn't even a "weird guy," and he had only been playing for about eight months. I hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): Geez I keep reading everyone's inputs and GIRLS we're deff in the same boat. I'm so fed up with the BS gaming online says he's going to do a raid for 15 mins and ends up 2 to 3 hrs. seriously WTF is there to do. I almost left him and he stopped playing and when we were doing better he got hooked to WOW again. Its pathetic! US girls are so beautiful that our men at home better watch out that some guy that will give us the attention our men isnt giving us will take us away from them. We have a 6 month old daughter and he barely spends time with her at night. maybe plays with her for 10 min and thats it! sex life. Hes not even romantic like before so why should i be. Anyways ladies, I think we need to get hard on these guys. Im dying to disconnect the internet. But What can we do???
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): omg I can't believe how many WOW Widows there are out there, not surprising though since there are 10 million players world wide.
My fiance uses it as a form of escapism. He has depression and I find that when he struggles to control his usage is when he is on a downward spiral.
Same story really, he gets on there for what he thinks is an hour which is really 6 or 7, doesn't sleep properly, gets lazy around the house and then wonders why his depression isn't getting better.
I have tried nagging him to cut back, then before our daughter was born gave him the ultimatium, luckily he chose us. Since he stopped our relationship has been much better, he is helping around the house (the back yard has never looked so good).
Now he wants to play again. I am worried that he won't be able to control his usage and we will be back where we were with ulimatiums, and am worried next time I might lose.
We have talked about it, he knows that he is the only one who can control this, he knows the risk he is running and that I won't sit around and wait for him to stop. If he misses out on our daughters childhood because he is playing a fantasy online game, that is his problem. I won't make it mine.
I am not telling you all what is best in your situation, just that perhaps if one approach is not working perhaps you may need to think about changing tactics.
Good Luck !
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): I am so glad to see I'm not the onlyone with this problem... So someone please help... I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and lived with him for 3 years... He is obsessed with WOW. He holds a steady job and just started school again. This past summer he quit playing and our relationship was great!! He recently started playing again and does not want to do anything with me, doesn't even go to bed with me, pretty much doesn't give me the time of day. I am on my last straw and don't know what to do?? Do I stay with him or not, I feel as though he could care less anymore and I don't know what to do? Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): I am in the situation except my boyfriend is supposed to be watching our 1 year old daughter and he said well she is in the room with me I just have to finish. Last night he was on when I got home at 7PM and played until 330AM! He then takes naps all day because he is tired from being up so late. When we met I knew he played but he stopped because when he moved in we did not have good internet or a good computer. almost 2 years later I go to my moms for the weekend with our daughter and he has a boys weekend with a friend of his who still plays ALL the time! I mean I dont think this guy has a social life anymore - his girlfriend started playing just so they could see each other but I have seen what the game can do to someone so I am not going to start! But anything he used to tell me that he was happy that he did not play anymore he wanted to grow up and focus on work and our family...however when I came home that weekend he had paid the fee to start playing again and then on black friday we stayed out all night to get a new computer so he could play. THIS GAME RUINS RELATIONSHIPS! I have told him that if he doesnt start changing that we will leave and it works for a little while but then he goes back to his ways. I swear somestimes I want to smash that computer! He now wants to buy a mouse that is $300! I wish I could help you hun!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): I understand totally well on a different level sort of lol. I play wow too, but the thing is is that I know when to log off and he doesn't. We play together and that's all fun and games but we rarely ever spend time together offline so to speak and we live in the same house. I ask him to do something for me and don't get me wrong he does it but it's right back upstairs to the computer. I even asked him to sit and talk to me while I was cooking supper but he was worried he would lose his Mana Strudel (in game food that you lose if you're away from keyboard too long)
Our sex life used to be amazing but now it seems rushed cause he plays till midnight or so and he has to get up at 4 in the morning so he needs to go to bed. He can stay up all night playing but the minute it comes to watching a movie with me he can't stay awake 5 minutes.
Just the other day I asked him if we could do something together without being on wow and he was like sure honey whatever you want...Did it happen? no...He even promised to take me to the movies today did he remember that no. Minute he got home from work it was..."I gotta log in to check and see if my auctions sold." didn't even remember until I told him and then said we couldn't afford to go.
I'm at a total loss I love wow too don't get me wrong but not on the same lvl I know when to log off and he doesn't. I love him so much I just wish he'd see that he's hurting me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): I am pretty much in the same boat as you girls. But i'm married with children. My husband found out about the game, and once started, didn't want to stop. From the moment he came home from work, until early hrs of the morning he would play. Most nights i would head to bed alone. His online friends became more interesting and more important than his own family and we became neglected.
He tells me that it relaxes him, and the he wants to be able to play 4+ nights a week.
Anyway, i decided the start playing myself, once the kiddies were in bed, and i have to admit that i enjoy it. Its fun. And on a casual basis i see no problems with it.
But my husband doesn't understand what casual means. Ultimately it's coming between us, and i don't know why my hubby doesn't understand. He has cut down, but complains constantly that he'll never get 'geared' etc because he doesn't play enough. And instead of having conversations about normal life, he wants to talk about WoW constantly. I honestly think that he would leave me and the kids if i didn't let him play.
I know he loves me, but he has a problem. I can't take it anymore. It's been a couple of years.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): My boyfriend is more than addicted to WoW. Hes been playing since he was 16 he stopped for like a year when he was 21 and went right back to it a few months ago. We live together now after...and he has to "make time" for me. Because we apparently have "busy" lives. Yeah, he works and I do too, but thats it. We work. We don't go to school..We don't even live near family...He goes to work at 10am gets home around 6:30pm and is playing until he decides he wants to go to bed.
He says its a stress reliever, but what is he relieving stress from? Nothing. Work? No. He absolutely loves his job.
We "hang out" maybe on the weekends. We used to watch movies together atleast twice a week now we don't at all. We used to have a pretty enjoyable sex life...now its mostly when hes in the mood. Maybe 2-3 times a week. (Trust me that is a lot less than it used to be, lol)
I don't understand it. He always said that I am his life, but clearly I am not. If his friend wants to get online he gets online. If I ask him to go to the store with me or anything I get a "Im not in the mood to leave right now" or.."I'm not in the mood to watch t.v" Theres always an excuse to something. And even when we do "hang out" on the weekends...I'll get maybe 2-3 hours of him...then hes right back on the computer for the rest of the weekend.
I don't get it.
If I didn't love him as much as I do, I would leave him.
My name is Rachel and I am my boyfriends 2nd priority.
1 = WoW
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reader, anti_wow  +, writes (25 January 2010):
Yea i hear you. :(
i dont know what to do. iam loosing my parnter, the father of my children to this warcraft shit.
im that sick of looking at the back of his head.
that over him getting the shits when he has to help me with the children. its almost as if he revolves his life around the game not his family.
Its addiction no different to a heroin addict.
i asked if he would choose the game or his family if it come down to it....he could not answer me.
i have a 3 week old baby that wants and needs our attention so much. and his idea of helping out is putting the video's on for our two yr old. his not here not emotionally at all.
i love him dearly and i wanna save him before he misses to much of these special moments.
life is for living
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): I have been living your same story for 3 years now. We are all in the same boat girls, let's start a support group-seriously.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): I agree Me and my boyfriend have been together just over 7 months, and he played the game for the first few weeks but quit, and the relationship was fine.. Now he's started to play it again and even when we're talking on MSN he talks less and less as the days go on.. He plays it overnight and sleeps in until about 10pm some days.. and we had made plans to meet up, but obviously.. because he had slept in due to being online until early hours in the morning.. he never came. And now it's just irritating.. He doesn't see how it's affecting me and te only time we talk and whatnot is when, ikehas previously been stated, he wants sex.. or if we're together, I say something or touch him (in an innocent way) He gets annoyed with me :/ It's like.. the fantasy world.. or being with his friends is so much better than spending time with me..
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Well, not alone at all. My boyfriend and I haven't been together for very long, only about 7 months. Our relationship started out wonderfully, all he wanted to do was spend time with me and be intimate and such. I went off to college, no big deal when he played because I wasn't there, but when we would chat on MSN he was gradually becoming more and more distracted with his game, to the point where he stopped coming online to talk to me at all, he even stops texting me back. I am home from school now, leaving for Basic Training for the Army in a few months and all he does is play WoW, pretty much 24/7...he wakes up at around 9 or 10 and plays until around 5 in the morning... This has taken a huge toll on our sex life, and definitely on our communication skills... The only bit of attention I really get from him is when HE wants to have sex and initiates it himself or when I'm sitting there trying to get his attention and it's bugging him. He also got all of his roommates to start playing and that's all they do. Right now I'm sitting here wishing he'd get off the computer and come to bed with me...but it's not gonna happen...
I hate WoW...I wish it never existed....
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reader, Heathergizer +, writes (27 December 2009):
My boyfriend/fiancee just started playing WoW today and he is already addicted. I am currently living with him and yes we do sleep together. Just to see what he does, I told him I was going to bed, wondering if he's going to stop gaming. Of course, being a gamer that he is, just said "ok" and didn't even look at me. Fine, looks like he's the one breaking up the relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): pretty much all of us chicks are out of luck with the infamous addiction of WoW. My guy was into his game the past Saturday and was upset that his online buddy had to get off WoW because his girlfriend shoved her exposed breast to him. I mean if the men want a relationship with WoW, so be it. There are other fish in the sea. As for me and my guy, when it comes to intimacy, I ignore him..,Im too busy playing WoW to be intirmate. And he will just have to get over it or get our.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): I hate WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!it gets on my nerves every time I see my bf play.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): WOW sucks, and always will. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, i was once engaged to him, NOT anymore, because the game caused us to break up. We were not together for 1 month. He told me that he loved me and cried almost every night because he missed me..BULLSHIT! he also told me he would stop playing sooo damn often and that yes indeed he was addicted to it. Here we are 5 months later and he is playing more than ever..it gradually increased to 5 days a week!!! And now he is telling me I don't "put out"!!! How the F am i suppose to be intimate with him when he's got a computer in his face 24/7. He works early in the morning and plays to 1 or 2 in the morning!! WTF!! I've tried everything, EVERYTHING! nothing works. And as for the guy that told us not to break up with our bf's or play with them, i'm sorry but that's BS. because my bf is very addicted to the game and nothing can get to him while he is playing. I cannot believe a GAME is wrecking my life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): to the last post, Really????? you want us to be understanding about been in a ralationship along? cuz thats whats happening. I dont want him to just stop and be with me 24/7 but lets do what we just to do before Wow. I hate this game. I played Sim for about a week ( trying to find something to do myself) and he didnt play WoW, he was getting mad at me, selfish ha? he stop for a few days and now he is back on. this game is BS
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): you are far from alone on this one. my boyfriend and i have been together almost 5 years and hes been playing wow for like a year and he plays 5-6 hours at least every day and it drives me bonkers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): I am the exact same way...My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year...He plays other games besides WOW, but most of the time when I call him, it seems like he is just "too busy" for ME! Dang, it makes me so upset sometimes! I feel so mad, because although we are not in college (yet!) we will be someday, and I don't want crap like this to ruin it. I mean, sure, a guy needs to have something to have to come back to after a hard days work, but that also involves his woman! And GAMES DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT have ANY tole on a persons sex life...that is where the games should end, girl! Tell him that, too!
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reader, XCharX +, writes (3 September 2009):
i dont know but if you find out please tell me
me and my boyfriend have been together 2 and a half years
but recently like last few months hes on wow every day
it drives me crazy i stay round and nothing he barely even talks to me
but i dunno try dating with him go places that you used to go etc
good luck and sorry
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): hey, i have the exact same issue too,P i did try and talk with my boyfriend and he seems to be a lil more considerate, but he is still unbelievably occupied with wow, and i really don't feel like starting a account just to keep up with him because i don't want it to take up all my free time and life. My boyfriend is really good at WOW and i found out from him after a couple of expansions(don't know how long =/ a couple of years?), the creators r going to try and end it with a final dungeon and are they are trying to create a new game. =/
-my best advice try to get him hooked on another game or hobby that does not require his full attention with people online(prevent any future wow look alikes with discrete behavior).
-also if his habbit ever bothers u enough to bring it up in the future at anytime, always try to be cool headed without lashing out any harsh feelings/language(addicts tend to be very sensitive .) good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): I believed my story was uncommon, but now I see how serious it is.
I met the love of my life in high school, he graduated before me.
We've been living together for a little over a year now and have been dating for 2. We've established a future engagement to be married.
In the beginning of this relationship I felt so lucky, so loved. Always doing something, whether it was nothing or out of state fun. Before our relationship, he played WoW. He then started picking it back up a little over 6 months ago.
Since then, he plays hours on end EVERY DAY. EVERY DAY!
I even ask him if he can just spend this ONE day off it.
I've even started to lower my requests as to asking him to stay off for atleast an hour so we can watch a movie together, something. I don't care what we do. I mean, we live together. What does it matter if we're bored for a bit? As long as we're together, that's all i care about.
Anyhow, I gave him the pick and choose. His reply, "I'm not going to choose either because I'm not going to stop playing world of warcraft." Then, I heard his answer loud and clear.
He moved out at 6 AM to his mother's house the other day. He then came back. I thought this must be a miracle. Sure enough, it wasn't what I thought it was. I mean, I've told him everything I feel and think. And he instantly turns it on me and says I'm a bitch. He says he'd rather play wow then be bored with me. But then when he isn't on, he rubs my shoulders and tell me he loves me. This guy has even proclaimed that I am his soulmate.
Is this what love is like? Or am I just being fooled?
I can't decipher if leaving him forever or this wow addiction continuing would hurt more.
Most of the time, I'm totally set of working this out, then others, I'm ready to kill myself.
Anyhow, I'd like to talk about this. my email is [email address blocked]
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): I've been playing WoW for about 4 years (probably a bit less) and I can safely say, if you get "addicted" to a game easily, don't get this.
Personally, I know how to regulate my time (I do what needs to be done and have time for WoW), but I know a lot of people who don't.
If you're in a relationship and you want to play WoW, that's fine but you seriously need to spend time on daily chores, your school/college/work and especially your relationship.
Anyway, either you get your boyfriend to stop playing WoW or you dump him.
He obviously doesn't care enough about you to spend less time on a game for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): dudeonce your hooked your hooked foreveri started playing when i was 14 and now im 21 and i still play, i dont play all the time its more of an on and off thing i would play for 3 months then quit for a while then end up coming back to the game a few months later.my adviceswitch off the internet for a few weeks
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): 3 days ago I was staying at my bf's house for easter (I've been with him for half a year). I don't get to spend much time with him so when I came over he was already playing wow. He spent the entire time playing wow till he slept. then the next day when he got up at noon he started playing till 5am the next morning. which is 17 hours, he had work the next day but as soon as he finished he came home to play wow again till I got very mad. He was like 'I feel guilty for making you watch we should play wii or something' but he never got off the computer chair. Then I decided to leave and he although he said he felt guilty for making me bored, he didn't bother walking me to the train station :'(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): I hate this fucking game! I wish they would just take it away and off everything. Its ruining my relationship with a good man. He does care about me but he doesnt realize that for the past year hes been sitting there doing nothing but gaming. he wont even talk to his conselor about getting help. He gets so offended even when i ask him if he could just stop for a few days n he says well what am i supposed to do stair at a wall all day! im serious about leaving and he takes it as ajoke and turns the tables onto me because last year i played the sims for like 2 weeks!!! compared to his 1 year and counting on this game made by the devil!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): My relationship broken up today with my partner because he was too addicted to World of warcraft thanks to his best friend. He played the game from 8am straight through to 9pm the conversations and the passion became limited. Over the last couple of months it got worse even more so when his best friend made him go insane and he left me. I really HATE the game!! especially the private servers
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): As most have said, he must choose YOU or the GAME. I foolishly brought up playing WoW together sense we are both gamers and couldn't find a game that we could really play together. At the time my computer didn't have the memory to support the game and he went to a friends house to play it .. without me. Now he plays it nearly 24-7. I have slept alone on many nights because he was "In a Raid" or was "Killing This Boss with friends" and that they relied on him, which seriously hurt me. I wouldn't tolerate it, to be honest. If he can't log off for longer than a few hours then maybe it's time to find a different boyfriend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): Simple... start playing the game with him
Meaning hours of time together and sharing an interest
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reader, JessicaN10 +, writes (3 March 2009):
LISTEN CAREFULLY.
My boyfriend was also addicted to warcraft, he was such a good boyfriend before he even played that game until noow.
He couldn't choose between me or the game. Which pretty much means he chose the game. If he loves you enough, he would take your concerns into consideration and be willing to quit.
But apparently , my boyfriend didnt.
So i'm ending it for you.
A guy most likely will not stop playing for you.
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reader, iAshiee +, writes (31 December 2008):
Hell, I'm a girl and I play WoW myself. I've been playing it for awhile now, and I do understand how addicting it can get (it's a lot of fun if you're into those kinds of things).However, just because it's a fun game (the keyword is GAME) that doesn't mean he should let it control his life. I would love to sit and play it a lot more, but honestly, it's not worth the money, and it's not worth losing my friends or boyfriend over (then again, he plays with me as well haha) Anyway... my point is, he obviously has troubles letting go of a silly game. You need to tell him this, as I told my ex (who was also addicted to it and into it way before I was) "It's me, or the game. I have a life, and I'm not going to waste it on watching you play this. Just because YOU have no life now doesn't mean I should give up mine"What happened? He stopped playing it as much while I was over, or when he knew we had plans. There were days where I felt really lazy and didn't care if he played while I was over.Don't blame ANY of this on you. It's just a silly game. And he's being really dumb. Yes, I love the game, and I was really into playing it at one point, but the difference is that I, along with other players, know that's just what it is: A GAME.This boy really needs to get his priorities straightened out. If you really want to embarass him, when people ask why he doesn't come out, just tell them that he's too busy playing with his little dwarf. (If you really think about it, it sounds pretty bad, lmao)Or, if you wanna use game lingo against him, just tell him it's either your or the game, and if need be, you'll go find someone else that can offer you more gold and has a bigger mount. ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): Hello... I met the love of my life 8 years ago. He moved in last year. I wanted a family, I wanted to get married, I am so in love with him. I bought him a game last year because he was unemployed and I thought that after I got home from work we could play it together. The first week was awesome with our new WoW characters. He had the time to study it while I was at work. The next week he was violently mad because I didnt have as much time to play as he did, so he starting leveling it up so high I could never catch up. Then I knew I lost him. He starting playing 20 hours a day, giving out my phone number to people online sending ugly emails that said HaHaHaHa "she begs for my time" or "I told her that I would come to bed early tonight and pay attention to her, well, f her!" He threw a telephone and hit me in the face when I asked him to stop playing and get a job. He then promised that he would quit, swore to God on my life! I believed in him. I asked some friends that play to see if he logs on, to see if I could trust him well.. he never quit playing. Everytime I have to run for groceries or responsibilities, he made excuses to stay home, everytime there was a family get-together he said he was sick, everytime the lawn needed cut, he had me do it because he didnt feel good, everytime I was sick and laid down early he never checked on me upstairs. He was sitting down here playing the game behind my back. He swears at me in my face with the F word and says he is not addicted, he told me he will play if I like it or not and calls me a control freak. He promised.. he is the one that said he was done.. He sucks down major amounts of alcohol and logs on every night, now even in front of me. I am ending the relationship. I love this man with all my heart and soul and will never get over him. I will probably wind up alone for the rest of my life because I love him so deeply but I have to end this. This is unhealthy for him and for me. He picked WoW over me. For me, Game Over. Hey everyone in the guild, please take care of him, I hope this game serves him well.. best of luck..
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): As a 3 year long wow player, i recently quit all togeather.I can tell you in all honesty, you have no chance. I would reccomend you tell him how you feel, if that doesnt work you have two options.Option A: Get yourself a world of warcraft account, warning- you will probably fail your finals. On the bright side, youll get to enjoy playing wow togeather. Option B: Dump him, as long as your sure that he is causing the problem, and its unsolvable. Sorry if this seemed a little out of order, but ive seen my best friend lose his girlfriend, gain 24lbs and fail college because of this game. Addictions are very serious.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): My boyfriend is also doing his GCSEs but wow is taking over his life. He doesn't pay much attention to me anymore and has even told me he was grounded so he could play wow :s
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): My boyfriend is also doing his GCSEs and WoW has taken over his life. He's even told me he was grounded just so he can play on wow and not see me :s
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): i absolutely agree. my boyfriend is always on wow i dont know what to do. its taking over his life when he should be concerned about his gcses!! if anybody can help pls reply to this
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): My friend's kid is in his early 20s. He doesn't go to school and he doesn't work. He does not have a social life. He gets up at 5 in the after noon and plays WOW until he falls asleep. If I was his mom, I would be very concerned when he realizes the state his life is in. I wouldn't be surprise to find out suicide and WOW are positively correlated.
I also know a half dozen relationship that have been ruined because of WOW. Mine might be on the road to it. My boyfriend has failed out of grad school and only works 8 hrs a week. We talk on the phone because he lives so far away and talking with him is a struggle. Talking on the phone with him is impossible when he's playing (which is 75% of his awake time). I can tell if he is playing or not by the way he says hello. If he is, I automatically hang up. We are suppose to be getting married soon, but I don't know if I should be with someone who is so irresponsible. Because I know so many relationship that have been ruined, and the fact that my boyfriend has a very addicting personality (he was addicted to porn) I told him it's me or the game.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I have this problem too... except it is not 3 - 4 hours a night.. its more like 11 - 12 hours a day. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years, and living together for about 2. Around the time that we moved in together was when he started playing this stupid video game. It has ruined our relationship... he's lost several jobs and now I'm stuck paying for everything and doing everything on my own because I can't drag him away from the F***king computer long enough to do anything. My advise is, #1 DO NOT start playing with him I feel like this is only stooping to his level. I know that it is addictive, and when I try and confront him about it he just gets VERY defensive. I know that it is something that he enjoys, but I feel like my relationship has been reduced to that of two room mates living in the same house.
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reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Ok, I agree with some of the comments here about the online gaming thing being his fun and he'd rather do that than sit on the sofa watching crappy TV. I can appreciate that. However, I'd rather spend time with that special someone cuddling on the sofa watching a film, than playing some fantasy role playing game.
I'd rather go for a walk and just talk to each other. In a relationship you have to spend some time together.
3-4 hours every single night seems excessive. He needs to have his own time, but he shouldn't neglect his friends/family/loved ones. Before he knows it he won't have any friends and will probably lose you as your patience runs out.
If he loses you I bet things will be different then. I played WOW for approx. 2 months and then sold my character on ebay for about £200 and spent it on dinner, drinks and a night out with my gf (at the time).
Sure, you both need time to do the things you want to do. But when you spend 3-4 hours every night - that is far too much in my opinion.
You both have to spend some quality time together just the two of you.
Going off a bit here but some people have taken it too far and thier health has suffered from excessive online gaming and many a relationship and even marriages have broken down because of it, lost jobs and all sorts. Of course this is the extreme and I'm not saying this is the case here.
If your bf would rather play football 3-4 hours every night than spend time with you then this would be equally as bad as WOW.
And on a bit more light hearted note take a look at the award winning South Park show featuring WOW:
http://www.southparkzone.com/episodes/1008/Make-Love-Not-Warcraft.html
Quite amazing how a game which allows people to live in a fantasy world take over some peoples lives so much when you think about it.
And on a more serious note, take a look at these:
http://www.wowdetox.com/
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gamesgear/0,39029441,49285482,00.htm
Best of luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): As a guy who plays World of Warcraft, and has a very serious sexually active relationship all I can say is the more you get upset at him about a game the worse it will become.
I use to date a girl who hated me spending my free time playing the game, and it really drove a wedge between us. She seemed to be jealous to be honest, and would rather have me sit on the couch (in the same room as the computer) and watch some crappy TV shows instead. It would be like him constantly complaining about something you do that you find fun/relaxing. It does sound like he's playing it a lot, and that is definitely not your fault. He basically has to figure himself first though.
From my perspective though, I know playing really helps me unwind, and as ridiculous as this sounds playing the game actually helped me learn how to manage my time very well (I am a good student ~3.7 in Bio major). My current g/f and I play the game together, and doesn't shun me for playing a game the majority of people have deemed "uncool".
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reader, xxshaunaxx +, writes (4 February 2008):
i was in this exact situation. i noticed my guy was playing WoW instead of going out with friends & stuff like that. he then suggested i give playing it a try. well, im hooked, & our relationship is better than ever. (apparently there is something sexy about girls that play video games..?) idk, lol. but our relationship is doing great right now even though we are 100 miles away & only get to see each other maybe once a month...
good luck!
--shauna
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reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (4 February 2008):
 You dont think playing MMOGs are 'cool'? Well guess what, its a bigger thing than you think, a lotta guys (especially college guys) play them. If its just world of warcraft that you have a problem against, ask him to switch games. There's loads out there. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the things you do when you go out are boring and he'd prefer to play his games instead? I'm not saying that as a fact but it sure is possible dont you think?
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reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Lol, ha ha. The world of war craft is more important than your relationship. Thats a little cazy. It may be his fun, but you are just going to have to except it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Personally I think these types of things are anti-social. What you need to ask yourself is if, when you have got your finals out the way and the stress is less, you want a boyfriend who prefers this to human beings then ok. It sounds as if you are a sociable woman so at some point you will want to draw the line. I would stop mentioning things to him, just go out anyway and say "See you later". I doubt he'll be that bothered but just in case he does care he will start to sit up and take notice - some guys need things slamming in their face before they get the message.
The more energy you give it the less you will have for yourself. Put yourself first for now and spend some time pampering yourself - ensure his 'nerd' time equals your 'indulgence' time. Decide to put this issue on hold until you can deal with it all more easily and study is out the way. Also - don't protect his reputation from your friends - tell them he prefers his little 'toys' and that its getting you down. This will help you deal with it and they will be on your side trust me. It is not a reflection on you but a sad reflection on him. He is the loser in all of this. As for making your relationship work it will only do so with a distinct change on his part.
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reader, rachy-baby-helps +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Try relieving stress levels by doing something you find fun and rewarding (going out with mates, exercise etc) Don't stress about the future, because its the present that's getting to you and worrying about times to come will make it worse.As for your finals, as long as you are revising, but having fun aswel, and getting enough 'you' time you should be fine.I think you need to have a proper heart to heart with your boyfriend. He could be amusing himself on the computer because you are stressed about evrything else and he feels in the way. Or he could just be trying to enjoy his passion with people that share the same interest.I believe you should try and interact with his fantasy worls too, get involved in something he likes to do.I know this is a harsh look on it, but some people that spend their time on the computer are having internet relationships because their home lives are proving stressful.You should take some time out to spend with your partner doing things you both love, and strengthen your relationship.I hope this helpsGood Luck :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW Hun please listen and listen REALLY CAREFULLY world of warcraf is an addictive video game and if anything i would tell you to play with him ( he would love that ) and if your not a gamer and cant play games just relax your not alone world of warcraft has been doing this to gfs for the last 3 years i know i know you probably feel like hes jerking off to world of warcraft but trust me eventually he will ween off it like i did and you have to let him know you will be there for him and support him and trust me nothing is hotter to a guy then a girl playing world of warcraft with him ill guarentee he will be all over you :P just saying but if you cant play those kinds of games just ask him if he could get off the computer to talk :) just you shouldent be breaking up with him or you will just be doing what everyone else is (i should know i lost many a girl friends to world of warcrack) and the last thing we need is to be depressed playing a game we want to be happy knowing we can leave the virtual world and be in the arms of someone we love right after :)
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