A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are long distance for a few months due to work. We were joking around by text and I was like oh darn I got this new computer, you're not gonna have a girlfriend for awhile! And he goes, it's not gonna be difficult to get another one. This girl around my age handing out fliers for my favorite cause came up and gave me her number. And I was like, I hope you told her you have the most amazing hottest girlfriend in the world! And he answered, no I took her number. She grows tomatoes and told me I could come dig up a plant. We were texting and I responded, Really? You didn't turn her down at all? Ouch... It's been several hours and he hasn't responded at all. I expected like a, I wouldn't really GO, don't worry... or something. I'm normally not super jealous or suspicious, but we're long distance now and this kind of hurt. Is this anything...? It seems kind of weird to me. I mean a girl gives him her number, and instead of saying he has a girlfriend he accepts her invite to her house. It just hurts a little. If he went to her house I'd be pretty bothered. Am I overreacting?
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has a girlfriend, jealous, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe apologized for the joke, he admits it wasn't very funny and won't do it again. The good news is we're only long distance until September. I've had a talk with him about the arrogance he's getting from discovering he actually is good looking and he says he'll work on it.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (21 July 2010):
You would be cool about it and serious about it and know how to handle it in a much better light? if you wasn't scared of losing him? thats why some woman or men don't like confrontation, is they are afraid they will walk so they just put up w/ it and tolerate it because they would rather have them in their life then not at all. so once you know you are serious you will say all the right things but it's up to you and how much you believe in you! and how much you are willing to tolerate and how important is honesty in your life! because that in it's self takes you along way.
thanx Oregongrl1
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Tell him that if you ever find out they've been in contact that things are off between you and him. Reason being, too many times people think they can just take advantage of the distance in a long distance relationship, by saying it's okay to start dating or hanging around other people that wouldn't otherwise be acceptable if you were around him to see it. Too many of these relationships go downhill and diminish until there's nothing left, when one or the other starts to play games like that. They realize you're so far away that they have more opportunities to start trying to explore other options while still dating you. It's just a common occurance with ldr's.
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (19 July 2010):
I would not watse my time playing head games! i would lay it out for him and be serious, that your relationship is not a joke to you anyhow! and if he can't treat it the same hit the road. it's very simple you can choose how you want it to be in your relationship! honest, open, sincere & respectful! there is no other way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo short of just saying, not cool, how do I let him know this is not OK? I'm still upset. He's like oh I'm just kidding... Seems really obnoxious and out of character though. Makes me wonder a bit if he IS planning on calling!
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (18 July 2010):
You are allowing it! and no it is not right for him to take a girls # and exspecially throwing it in your face. he needs to grow up are finish sewing his oats! and being long distance you will never know the truth. but you are the one who needs to put your foot down or wake up and move on!
Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): I agree with puzzlesolver, he did sound a little cocky from the description. Either that or yeah, trying to make you jealous. Either way, not very respectful. I'd be a little annoyed at why he'd want to even joke on such a thing. But there again, it could just be his way/sense of humour.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): Even if he's never been that way before, telling you he wanted to scare you by what he said, after acting completely serious the first conversation IS being cocky. Defending his behavior won't help him at all, especially being he's recently discovered how good looking he is, and his self esteem's already changing alot. To sum up your original question, no, you shouldn't be worried at all, but yes, his behavior toward you does need improving, especially the effects of the sudden boost in self esteem, from people around him regarding his looks as his reason for promotion, and comparing him to someone really beautiful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is he's normally very shy, he's not cocky at ALL. He's never even had a girlfriend before. We're moving in together in the fall and he's nothing but sweet and caring. He's very respectful and thoughtful. Cocky is NOT a word that comes to mind. I know he has some self-esteem issues and maybe he was relishing the attention or something. He's recently discovered he's good looking (he always thought he was ugly) because people have been coming up to him and telling him he looks like a specific hot celebrity and he got promoted for being good looking. He finally responded and said oh don't worry I wouldn't go to her house, I was just trying to scare you. Then joking about how he's single now because I have a new computer. I don't know what's going on!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): In the way he said it, he seems very cocky, like he wants to show you how it doesn't matter if he's with you or fooling around with whoever.. He's either trying to make you jealous or he's really serious about her, but both are reasons to view him as very disrespectful of you. It's really up to you if you want to cut him off, break up, etc., but he sounds very careless of your feelings, and as though he's pushing your buttons because of it.
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