A
female
age
26-29,
*uvDrunk
writes:I'm a passionate and really nice person but i'm also extremely boy crazy. I've only had one boyfriend so far because all the guy i like go for the C cup size 0 bitchy girls and i'm not like that so i'm insecure sometimes. I feel like i need to change my self to make them like me and i've even had bad thought like puking after a meal but i don't think i could ever do it.My first bf broke up with me and seid that he just wanted to be friends and it wasn't because we weren't close emotionally but he was embarrassed to go out with me so it really messed up my head with guys...i need word of advice to help me through all this...i'm hurting...it really hurts that no one ever seid that i was to good for him and i deserve better and that messed with my head to... anything would be greatly apreciated...Love, Chelsea
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female
reader, LuvDrunk +, writes (4 October 2010):
LuvDrunk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much to all the advice and all of you are so beautiful. And i know that i'll find someone and i've already lost weight and i know i look good but i still obsess over all my insecurities but all the advice helps so much. I wish you all love and the best in life.
@strontiumdog-yeah your right about how hot guys go for hot girls but the guys i like are realistic where i live, there really isnt popular and not popular...it's a mixture and i'm on the higher end so i don't think it's that i'm being unrealistic.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): You were tooooo good for that guy. Im 13 as well, and I have never had a boyfriend, but I hate when I see girls just throwing themselves at guys and letting them do things with them just to get some immature little boy to like them, and dont turn into one of those girls. You sound a lot better than that. Any boy who says he is embarrassed to go out with you is a butthole. Dont change yourself, and you know what, I thought about binging and starving myself as well, but I finally figured out it's not about what a girl looks like to get a guy [although right now, at this age it's probably a big thing for a guy to determine who his girlfriend is by looks], and I know some guys that dont judge a girl just by looks, and thats the kind of guy you deserve. Trust me, guys like girls who carry themselves with confidence and dont care what anybody thinks about you. I wish you the best of luck and know you will find a guy who will respect you and dont settle for anything less. :]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): You're only aged 13-15 so only having had one boyfriend really isn't a big deal. And as for all the boys you know liking this C-cupped, size 0, bitches every guy is different and is attracted to different things so there's a perfect guy out there for you. Some men find size zero repulsive and find curvy women alot more attractive. It works both ways.
I know what you're going through- when you and boyfriend broke up you wanted support and comfort and you didn't necessarily get that, but don't be disheartened. If he was embarassed to be with you you're WAY WAY better of without him. He's an idiot and you did deserve better- you want someone who's comfortable to be with you and proud. You'll find him eventually- it's just you wont necessarily find him now. You're still very young so don't worry about it. The less you go looking for a boyfriend, the more likely you are to find one. Just relax and be yourself around them remember that if things don't work it out it's for a reason.
As for you feeling tempted to "puke after meals" this is a terrible idea. It's bad for you and the acid from the sick rots your teeth and can make your breathe smell bad. The way to lose weight (if you even need to) is through careful diet and excercise. Being sick after meals is a symtom of Anorexia and boys deffinately do not find this attractive and it won't help you find a nice boyfriend.
Hope this helped at least a little. I once thought that boys only liked tanned girls while I'm very pale, but once i started to relax i found boys did like me for ME which i'd take over self-tanning and changing myself any day.
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A
female
reader, Zuni +, writes (3 October 2010):
 I'm sorry about your first boyfriend, that really sucks. You are going through a critical time in your life where everything is changing, however, that doesn't mean you should change. Just be yourself and the perfect boy is going to come along who loves you for you. Young teenagers are very self aware and self conscious. Also extremely insecure. Stand firm in what you believe in and don't let people put you down. When people try to put you down it just shows that they lack confidence in themselves so they have to attack other people just to feel secure about themselves. I hate to tell you this, but you are always going to run into girls who act/are female dogs.Please don't make yourself throw-up after you eat. It not only affect you but also people who care about you. It's also extremely dangerous. Don't think that your not good enough for any guy, if a guy ever says hes embarrassed by you, then you should throw it right back at him, that you are embarrassed by him, and that you pity him because he is so insecure.I'm sorry hon, in this kind of situation you gotta stay strong and hold your head up proud. Talk to a school counselor or your parents or a trusted adult. They will help you and be supportive. Any guy that is is rude to you isn't good enough for you, and you would be better than anything they ever would deserve. If your boyfriend was embarrassed by you, Then YOU DO DESERVE better, a man should love you unconditionally.Stay strong, and be patient, the right guy will come along eventually, I didn't meet the right guy until i was 17. Trust me, he was well worth the wait. I'm not saying you will have to wait that long, I only did because I was being picky. Just remember to be who you are, guys like that over a fake. Good luck! 3
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): Hey,I wouldn't worry too much about guys at your age. Focus more on stuff like your studies, hobbies, and family. Instead of trying to make boyfriends straight out, be good friends with loads of guys. That way, if a guy likes you enough to be worth your time, he will ask you out. I can totally relate to being insecure about guys (I'm 16, btw.) If you're feeling bad about your appearance, though, getting a boyfriend won't change that. What I did was try to work on my appearance (exercising, eating healthily, taking care of my skin etc.) instead of spending that time flirting with my guy friends... why don't you try that? That might actually help you feel less love-crazy, as you don't need a boyfriend to prove that you're attractive or anything. Don't worry about the other girls so much. Make your own circle of friends, and focus on making your life awesome. It's yours to do with as you like, so don't waste the pretty on others!Hope this helped.Love, Bella
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A
female
reader, heartbroken1991 +, writes (3 October 2010):
Hunni you should never let a guy make you feel Insecure about your self look in the mirror.. you are most likely a beautiful person inside and out.. I went through this a year n a half ago with Mii ex all I did for myself was cut my hair yeah after the break up I did lose weight ( finally). Lol. Trust me honey no guy these days wants a female that they can see there dang a lang through their stomach. They really don't wanna sit there n watch her eat a salad they want gurls with a. ASS N BIG DD's or bigger you don't put ya self down at all......girl work what you got hold ya head up...3
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