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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Should I stay with my boyfriend or should i leave?I bought my bf the xbox 360 for his birthday and now he is never off the thing. We have been together now for 3 years and live together. it may sound stupid but we never go out any more and when we are home together we are both in the living room but he is on his xbox live and i am reading a book being ignored. I have tried talking to him but he just complains that im nagging. I don't know if the relationship is working out anymore because i feel i am always in his way of his gaming. The worst part is i am paying for the yearly subcription for it. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): I just got my boyfriend one for Christmas. He absolutely loves it! He plays it all of the time. The thing he has learned is do is TURN IT OFF. I think the button is located on the face of the XBox somewhere :) He turns it off during dinner and if I ask him to. He needs it to unwind after work and I totally understand that. He plays Modern Warfare 2 and it gives him a sense of adventure and excitement that is hard to replicate without dying. I think it takes a strong man to turn it off when it is so tempting.
I would say that if you want to please him and buy him a gaming system but you are worried about the attention it gets, give him some rules with it if he has no discipline to turn it off. You can play from 9-12pm or I need 3 non-playing days a week from you for me and the kids. Use it as a reward too; if you mow the backyard then you can cool down inside and play some games. Negotiate...It is a fucking game and if he would rather live a life online than get him a bottle of Jerkins, a Sims game, and leave.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): Hey. I have exactally the same problem but worse. it started when the xbox came! hed play almost all day spendin hardly any time together then in 2005 i fell pregnant (we'd been together a yr and i was living at his mums with him)i had quite a hard pregnancy and was very sick the whole way through and while i was downstairs on the sofa with the tv and a bucket for company he was upstairs playing xbox most of the time most weekend eveningswed go 2 a mates..hed get drunk and id fall asleep in a corner.. sometimes he even brung the xbox with us. the time we did spend together was good and i really enjoyed it sometimes wed just talk or watch a film anything but it was together. then in june 2006 igave birth to our beautiful daughter and to be honest she was a good baby shed sleep from midnight to 6am which was reasonable. for the 1st few days we stayed at my mums shed given up her bedroom 4 us so while i looked after baby and sterlised bottles he was sat at the end of the bed with my mums lodger ans played xbox i htink he usedthe sterliser 10 times over the next year and eventhen he hadto be forced.. he made bottles and occasionally fed her played with her and did the night shift staying up till midnight and put her to sleep then i would do the morning getting up at 6. idwife visits i did on my own too.. then we moved bk 2 his mums and things got a bit better he did more for our daughter but we still spent hardly any time together just us! in 2008 things got too much and he was playing from awake time to asleep time.. no joke on xbl with mates and i was invisible and hed changed too.. he became lazy not leaving the house unless he had to and hed put on weight.. which didnt bother me but lowered his self esteem to almost nothing. and in feb i finished things and he went back to his mums.. we still had contact through our daughter and i saw the old him come bk he even cut right down on the xbox and was going out having fun.. eventually in june we got bk together and at 1st things were good but hes drifted back into his old routine now im 6mnths pergnant with his child this time a boy and im starting to feel that same aloneness again. ive tried talking to him, shouting at him, crying and threatening to leave again but the problem is i love him too much to just let him go coz when were gd its wondeful but its not very often.... he says once hes done his driving test well go places and do stuff but im not convinced :( HELP!
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female
reader, nitetimeromp  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 I also have them same problem and i have tried what rhino suggests but get no response from him. I have sat on his knee naked and said how about it and he has turned back to his computer and carried on playing. How can a girl compete with a computer???? I have treid showing an interest in his game but still not lead to more attention for me and less for the computer.
I have given up with trying to win. It has driven a wedge between us nd mde us less intimate wsith each other. Shame i can get him interested in virtual sex, he says he is too shy! what a joke lol
Reading some of the othe answers, my fella asks why im going to the gyn and who for, why i am going to see friends on a week night. If he finds me putting moisturiser on, he asks who am i doing it for, espocally if i put the stuff on that has tan in it. If i dont make him something, he wouldnt bother doing it him self, he has gone many a night without something cause he wouldnt come down or has been so lazy that he has ordered a pizza to be delivered.
They are unbeliveable!!!
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reader, nitetimeromp +, writes (30 October 2007):
I also have them same problem and i have tried what rhino suggests but get no response from him. I have sat on his knee naked and said how about it and he has turned back to his computer and carried on playing. How can a girl compete with a computer???? I have treid showing an interest in his game but still not lead to more attention for me and less for the computer.
I have given up with trying to win. It has driven a wedge between us nd mde us less intimate wsith each other. Shame i can get him interested in virtual sex, he says he is too shy! what a joke lol
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reader, rhino +, writes (11 October 2007):
 the answer to this very simple,1 take the x box away and hide it,2 when he is on it the next time,say nothing,go to your bedroom,dress up in your stockings,suspenders,tiny mini skirt,and ask him would you like a drink dear,or would you like to come to bed and play with me,and kneel down in front of him,slowly rubbing his legs up to his zipper,run your hands over it a few times,and say yes,i think you do,like your lips,get up and lead him by the hand to the bedroom,then he will be putty in your hands,and do that every time he go's onto the x box,
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007): hun i had exactly the same problem he got it it a little over a year ago when we used to live together and it was exactly the same like he was trapped in a matrix with his computer and nothing else mattered . one night he even came to bed at 7am cos he was up playin ghost recon with some americans eventually it was one of the last straws and then i left him locking off his internet for a month as i was paying for it so he had no xbox live until he sorted out his own internet lol i think he was more hurt about loosing his xbox live than his girlfirendit depends if u wanna stay with this guy i have since made mine realise there is more to life than his xbox and from time to time i have a play myself he buys me games that i can play while he does something else or even help me while hes playing it comes down to compromise in a relationship but men dont really do that unless they realise that they are gonna loose somethin good give him a shock tell him how u feel and pack some stuff and go stay with a friend or relative for a week or so once the pots are mounting up and he cant find any clean socks and he has to nake his own dinner for a change he will be beggin for u to come back....if hes not then u haveyour answer but be warned xbox live is like no other machine and my advice to all my friends has been the same never let it in cos it will be there like his evil mistress stalking your relationship until it cracks unless u learn how to fight itgood luck x
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reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (16 January 2007):
 *sigh* i wish my girlfriend would buy me a PS3:-P really though, it's pretty easy to get hooked on online gaming. Why dont you join him while he plays? The 360 has more than one controller port (i think its wireless but either way, you can join in too!) Maybe if you played along with him for a bit, he'd stop ignoring you? The alternative is to have a nice long chat with him about him ignoring you and see where it goes from there
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): some guys just get addicted into escapism..it tends to be a stress thing or boredom related.
i doubt very much its intentional rejection of you but more of his day. all good relationships are based on honesty and openess, tel him that you feel ignored and bored while hes playing, maybe even give him somehing else to play with!
all couples need a bit of 'alone time'' too, maybe while you go with your friends somewhere for an hour or two you can leave him playing then you can come home and spend QUALITY time together (NO TELE,NOISE OR DISTRACTIONS)
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): I think this will ring true with alot of women, we think we are getting them a present that they are gonna love and then we realise that its keeping them away from us!!.
I can really sympathise with you on this as it has happend to me twice with the same fella!, once with Playstation 2 and now with the xbox 360 too.
But we have spoken about the lack of time he is spending with me and managed to sort it out, but every now and then he likes to push his luck but, I just let him know that hes spending too much time on his gaming and he falls back into line!.
But seriously it was quite hard to get through to him, men just seem to be really selfish when it comes to gamming, I just dont understand it. But once he realised that it was really hurting me and that it was dammaging our relationship he soon sorted himself out.
I think the best thing to do is tell him how you are feeling instead of complaining that hes on the computer AGAIN!. (trust me I know how frustrating it is) But men dont understand that we are trying to keep the relationship together they just think that we are moaning, so actions speak louder than words with men.
Show him that you mean business, talk to him and explain how you are feeling and if he still doenst improve then cancel the subscription!, that should get you some attention!. But if all else fails pack his bags and tell him to go to his parents house and see if he still has a problem!.
ok hope I have helped.
XX
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reader, bamsidol4  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 just take it and throw it out the window, and say i wouldnt of bought it,if i knew that you were going o be playing it 24/7. your just like a little kid. or you could just take it back, or take the power cord and hide it, or sell all his games.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Have you told him how you feel. He may think you are ok with this situation. I personally would go out with my friends or just not be there at meal times. That usually has them thinking! Let him get his own food and maybe he may notice there are others around who are not glued to their games machines. Or you start playing on it and see how he likes it!
Take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Have you told him how you feel. He may think you are ok with this situation. I personally would go out with my friends or just not be there at meal times. That usually has them thinking! Let him get his own food and maybe he may notice there are others around who are not glued to their games machines. Or you start playing on it and see how he likes it!
Take care
xx
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reader, kim6906 +, writes (16 January 2007):
scary i am in the same situation i get so sick of watching my partner on his computer if i were you stop paying the subscription tell him to pay it himself he sounds very selfish. but also try doing things yourself like join your local gym or go out with friends just something to keep you occupied and then when he realises your not sat there waiting hand and foot on him he will change his attitude it worked for me.
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reader, dragonette  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Why are you still paying for that subscription? I think you should cancel it. Not only are you being miserable, you're paying to keep him making you miserable. Anyways, the subscription is hardly the issue here.
You need to sit your lad down and let him know that whereas you are happy that he's enjoying his birthday present, you have needs (going out, spending time together, etc) as well, and if those needs are not met, then you won't be happy in this relationship anymore. Together you will agree on that [X] amount of evenings per week are reserved for you two to be together and that there will be no gaming during that time.
And if you want something to laugh at in all of this, I can tell you that I have the same problem with my mother (no, I'm not kidding), so you're not alone.
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