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female
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*ri
writes: I was with my boyfriend for 3.5 years. We are both 25 years old and I graduated from univeristy and have gone to europe to pursue an athletic career ( i am gone for 6 months of this year). My boyfriend and I discussed the possibility of breaking up if I went away to decide what we really wanted as we are kind of at an awkward age i think to get married. We are both athletic and have aspirations and goals to play in europe. I got a contract in europe and left and we didn't really disucss what we were going to do. About a month into being away he called me and suggested to take this break or breakup. Although i was somewhat expecting it, i was still a bit hurt. i told him that i would be back in 6 months and he would have to decide what he wanted then (as i cared about him and i would be open to talking about it then). We talked a little bit online, but for the most part kept our distance. I dated other people and he did as well. I arrived home for 2 weeks at xmas (and then i have to go back until march) and he told me that he is going to europe in march (which is when i arrive home) to puruse an athletic career and he didn;t think us starting on a long distance note was a very good idea. He said that he loves me and sees himself with me, but can't fully committ right now. What should I do? Should I cut all ties and stop contact with him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): It's a lie to think that you can be superwoman and have everything. You want athletic sucess and so does he. He wants to marry you eventually and I expect you do to.
Which is more important. Your career or you relationship. There are no guarantees in life. You choose what's important and you follow your dreams. Everything else will fall into place. It has to, because you made your choices and must accept the consequences whatever they maybe.
I can't tell you what to do, I can't tell him what to do. Look into your heart, where do you want to be in five years time. Standing with medals and honors for athletics or holding a baby, a wedding ring and a man's heart? Whatever you decide will be the best decision for you.
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