A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy via a friend. Hung out a few times. Ran into each other after a night if drinking and slept together. He texted me the next day. We texted allot. Somewhere along the line it came to light that all I wanted was a booty call. He asked if that's really all I wanted I said yes. A few weeks have passed and I have gotten to know him a bit better. During this time he is quick to remind me that it was my idea of only fwb. As I get to know him I realize I could really like him. What's the best way to go about this. Or is it too late?
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (27 June 2013):
 Hi, you need to be honest and tell him that you have changed your mind, also note that if he says he does not want more than a FWB relationship, you need to end it as you will end up with a broken heart. Don't hope that he changes his mind in the long run, listen to what he says. That is why this FWB never work as woman and sex - is driven by emotions.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (27 June 2013):
I think you should tell him (it's okay to change your mind) that since you've gotten to know him better that you do like his personality etc. and that you're okay if things could lead to more than fwb. The worst he could say is he would rather stay fwb and you can decide that maybe it's not going to work out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2013): If you build a relationship on one foundation, it is hard to change the plans once it's built. Not only did you say all you wanted was a booty call, you confirmed it when asked.Now you want to change course? Well, guess what? He may like you too, but he will always be a little insecure. He knows how casual you can be about sex, and how indecisive you are at the same time.If you like him, wait to hear him say he likes you first. Then you will have to allow him to be the pursuer to make sure he isn't just toying with you. Be careful, he may be setting you up to make you eat your words. Some people resent being "just a booty call."If you want to let things progress; then, you need to just apologize casually. Tell him, he turned out to be a really great guy, and you withdraw your characterization as just a booty call. He's much much better. Just be playful with it. Guys aren't as emotional about it. Don't go over-board.There is a caveat. Do not let your feelings get too involved. Don't start getting all gooey. You have to reprogram his thinking and rewrite the script.Repeat...do not let your feelings get too involved.When you start out a relationship on the wrong foot, you have to be prepared for the consequences. You could get played yourself.So continue to "see" him. You now have to remove the sex from the menu. You now have to get to know each other. He has to like you on an emotional level. Text messages are over-rated. People are addicted to their smartphones; so text messaging is a favorite pastime. It's given far too much credit, when it comes to creating relationships. If he truly likes you, he will "spend time with you." He will take you OUT. He will plan dates for you. He will show you how much he like's "you," and not just your booty and/or vagina. If he becomes scarce when the sex becomes scarce; consider that a red-flag.Actions speak louder than words. So you have something to prove.If you are relationship-material: Capable of honest commitment, able to relate on an emotional and intellectual level to another person, ready to be judged by your past behavior; and your feelings won't change once you get what you want. Then go for it. In any case. The longer you take to get to know each other, the better off you'll be.
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