A
male
age
51-59,
*kritAgentMan
writes:Hi all, enjoyed the site so I thought I would join and ask a few "burning questions" to hear what a different group thinks. Please bear with me, I'm not trying to come across as accusing ANYONE of anything with this question/statement/opinion but I'm simply relaying my own experiences. I am late 30s, father of 3, married for nearly 20 years, live in a southern town of 100k. I'm "luckily successful" which allows my wife to stay at home. My wife is/was my college sweetheart, she still makes the ol ticker pump and I can't keep my hands off of her. After 3 kids (last 2 were C-section) and turning 40 a couple of years ago she has gained the proverbial 10#s per kid, has the c-section scar and her once "full C" boobs are now deflated. She calls her tummy "her second butt". (ALL the previous physical descriptions are by HER definition/description. I actually prefer the mature, soccer mom, tall, size 8-12 female physique. Always have, even when I was an early teen! (I'm 6'4" 245, so bigger than smaller women have always appealed most to me.)So anyway, her tubes are tied and we BOTH are done with ANY desire for more kids. She wants a tummy tuck, some lipo here and there and a boob job. Basically she wants her 21 year old blonde hair blue eyes, 5'9" 125-130#, size 6-8 full figured college hottie body back like she had when we met 20 years ago. I have NO problem with any of her requests for going under the knife. As a result of her tummy, she refuses to wear bikini's in public yet states if she had it fixed she would like to wear them again. Now my delima... it has been my actual experience that those ladies who got boob jobs while married, the majority of the time, ended up getting a divorce within 1-3 years. Again I'm NOT trying to judge those who have recieved enhancement, hell I'm a red blooded, boat owning, Harley riding American male... I LOVE a great rack as much as the next guy. But solidly 7-8 in 10 ladies that we know had surgery, ended up divorced soon after. THAT is my fear. I WANT my wife to enjoy her appearance, to dress sexy, to feel alive again, to like what she sees in the mirror... all that supportive, loving husband type stuff. But I'm also a realist and with the type of business I'm in, I put alot of stock into the ability of raw numbers/history/data to be able to predict future events. My wife wants the tuck, lipo and the boobs. But said if she could only have 2 of the 3 it would be the tuck and lipo. But I know here, if the rest of her body had the "20 year eraser" taken to it, she'd only resent her chest that much more. Sorry for the lengthy post but the subject is really weighing on me lately.CAM
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male
reader, Honest j +, writes (14 July 2018):
This is funny my friend who a female was telling me about a friend of her who just got boob job she told me it doesn’t look good on her she said her boobs are to big and she also gain some weight. I ask her why was flat chested or boobs were small I don’t remember what she said so I look it up on internet. The answer will ups surprise you, biggest percentage of boob job perform on women are between age of 30 to 39. The reason after they give birth to their children body Go through a change. Their boobs are less firm and shape and start to droop, their no exercise and weight loss that can help bring back shape or firmness back so that why they get Surgery done.
A
male
reader, RicoinCA  +, writes (30 November 2015):
My real life experience is that she decided to get a tummy tuck, breast augmentation, lipo here and there.... a year after the procedures I found out she had a lover about three month before her procedures
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A
male
reader, Lcapytano +, writes (26 July 2010):
I assure you in most cases where married women who get breast augmentation leave their husbands it is because of the surgery! Whether it is a direct or indirect, it is the cause. Most women are absolutely infatuated with breasts from an early age. When they are wanting a boob job it is usually for themselves, not their husbands. Once they get a boob job they experience a boost in self esteem that they have either never felt before, or haven't felt in a long time. This new self esteem is perpetuated when these women realize that they are being looked at and admired more by men and other women than they were pre-boob job. This causes feelings and thoughts in a sexual realm that they either haven't felt ever or for some time. Over a period of time, they begin to seek more fulfillment outside of their marriage at first just because it's new and fun, but this eventually leads into something unhealthy.
Yes, people should feel good about themselves, but for whom? If you are happy with her body and have expressed this to her which I am sure you have, if her only interests where to look good for you, this has already been achieved. However, she wants to feel the lure of looking sexy to other men and women and the need to feel wanted by them to let her know that "she still has it" is evident.
That said, you are in a no-win situation. She wants them and won't be happy if you try to dictate what she can and can't do with her body. I definitely wouldn't pay for them. You need to make sure she truly realizes your discontent for her doing this. Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, Fletch +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Dude, I've been married for 24 years to a lady who has worked for a plastic surgeon the entire time..... let her do it! You'll be doing YOURSELF a favor! YOU are the one who will get to see them most, right? Women are very vain, they wear makeup, hair dos, jewelery, cologne... yada, yada, yada....... a better body is part of it all. Do you go to a gym?.... if so, why? To improve your self image and to feel better about yourself, right? Its the same thing for women, only there is more pressure on them to look good... check out the covers of magazines, morning TV news shows, its everywhere for them. I agree that if you have a solid relationship, like I do, there won't be any problem. Just reinforce how much you love her and how beautiful you think she is, with or without the surgery. Good luck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (30 April 2010):
 You say that 7-8 ladies out of 10 ended in divorce. The other 2-3 are in happy relationships and they know the secrets to stay together. The ones who divorced are simply getting out of a relationship that's already dysfunctional. Surgery has nothing to do with it. The increased self-esteem made them easier to leave. It gave them the confidence to attract better men. So the simple answer to this is money can't buy happiness. "A second butt" is a very demeaning way to describe her body. I read books about mind body connection and I found that whenever surgeries are done, your body stores pain and sorrow and it stays there after it's being stitched. Surgeries are meant to enhance one's beauty, not to mask it and cover one's self-hatred. But I say go for it though, just make sure she won't be addicted to it so she looks like a Heidi Montag. You want her to still retain that natural, feminine look. If you ended up getting a divorce, it's an inner issue, it's how you relate to each other, and not the surgeries.
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A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (30 April 2010):
 A lot of women who receive these "treatments" get them for their husbands who "don't even look at [them] anymore", thinking it will suddenly make their husband love them again. Then, after it doesn't work, they make the remark "I've changed so much for you, but you won't for me!" and it just goes downhill from there. Your situation is different!
Now, this is coming from a 19 year old, but one who knows of 3 women in their early 40's who had these "treatments". I commend you for how much you still love your wife. You, along with my own dad, are the exact man I want to be when I'm your age! Just letting you know. Good luck with everything!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Well, I see it as a tricky thing to calculate. Because like marieclarie said, it's not the actual surgery that makes them leave, it has to be another factor in their lives. And then this other factor is what drives them to want the surgery, and also drives them to want to leave their husbands. Or, that their husbands didn't like new them and so the husbands left? There could be so many things, and its hard to really calculate this.
But, if you have a strong and solid marriage, I believe that a surgery or two wouldn't matter much. Many marriages also end after the death of one child (sorry for the cruel comparison here), but that should not be a reason not to have children. What Im trying to say is that I believe it is the strenght of the marriage that decides what obstacles it can overcome.
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