A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How does a guy who has been sketchy react when you suddenly start being sketchy back?I have never played hard to get and may make it too easy when I like a guy. If we are dating and he wants to see me - I say yes at the drop of a dime. I don't like to play games. However this guy I've been dating for 3 months has a history of being shady and vague. He has said he wants to be exclusive and thinks I'm being paranoid for not trusting him. For example , the other night he text me "hows your night?". I called him back. He didn't pick up and text me back instead 20 minutes later that he was at a bar "with a friend" and now driving home but couldn't pick up because cops were near him". He then text me 20 minutes later and said "home. Miss you". Its now 1:30 in the morning So I called and he didn't answer. (this is 30 seconds after the "miss you"text. He calls back two minutes later - whispering and in an agitated tone - saying "home . going to bed. Talk to you tomorrow". Really rushing me off the phone (it sounded like he was calling from a bathroom and whispering). I asked him the next day what the rush off the phone was and the whispering and he said "I was in the stairwell of my building". And then I was like "ok so why not wait five more minutes and call me from apartment" and he's like "well I really had to run to the bathroom"So the last two days I've been vague. Not answering calls like I normally do and texting back "out with a friend. talk later". And he's freaking and Said "ok what you're doing is totally working" and asking if I'm pissed.Am I totally crazy and being paranoid or is this really bizarre behavior from someone trying to convince a girl he's ready to commit??(note: I have never met his friends, he hasn't suggested I meet his family yet and he's twice bailed on plans when it included meeting my friends. Also coming up with bizzare excuses like he took cold medicine and fell asleep).
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 People who need to hide something and know they act shady will be quick to deny it and blame it on you instead, saying you have trust issues. It's a well-used strategy of someone who is guilty.. they flip the blame around. If you can't trust him then you can't trust him. There's a reason why you aren't trusting him and there's a reason for why he doesn't act trustworthy either. Doesn't matter really if he has a woman on the side or not (or if you are the woman on the side), what matters is that he is shady and it's making you uncomfortable. Break it off before you grow more attached to this man. He wont be cleaning up his act anytime soon.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2012):
 How does a game player react when you start playing games back? He steps up his game…
Three months of dating and it’s always been shady or vague?
NOT met his friends or family? Won’t meet your friends?
I don’t think he wants to commit and he’s hiding something from you.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2012):
 Definitely married or in an ongoing relationship, don't sucker for it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 January 2012):
 It sounds to me like he's not actually single. I think I'd pass on dating this guy...if he's acting this bizarre when he's trying to woo you, just imagine how bizarre he'll act when he finally gets you. Not worth the effort, at least to me. Pass! Next! Thank you!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 Aren't you both a bit too grown up for this kind of strategies and tacticts and games ?.
It isn't working, simple and clear. A person that is ready to commit does not " try to convince " that he's ready to commit , he just DOES.
And you should not be reading the signs or having to guess or interpreting omens , it should be simpler and direct. Is there a problem, a misunderstanding ?... either one does not get what he needs from the relationship ?...You talk about it , you say honestly what bothers you , and if the other does not see it the same way, you see if you can work out a compromise that's OK for both.
If it starts with cat and mouse games and mutual suspicions, it's not born under a lucky star and you are much better off letting it go sooner than later.
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