A
female
age
30-35,
*ibeauty
writes:Dear Cupid, I am a bisexual woman in a year-long relationship with another bisexual woman. We are of conflicting faiths. My father passed away a few years ago so the only person living and raising me is my mother. She is extremely opposed to my homosexual AND interfaith relationship.. obviously. She's told me countless times that she will NEVER accept my relationship with my Muslim girlfriend as a Jew. She seems to be Ok with our cousin who is a gay man married with children from a previous straight marriage, and other homosexuals; only, as long as they don't show affection around her and especially not with her youngest daughter: me. So far, I have been pretty good about dodging her ultimatums (choose her or me) and lying to see her. But she's caught on, and knows that when I say I'm sleeping over at a friends, I'm sleeping over at my girlfriend's place. This has caused strain on our relationship and lots of stress on me on top of me near completing my university education. I strive for independence and dream about it daily. Though some advise me to move out I simply don't have the finances to do so. How can I facilitate my living conditions and slowly get my mother to quite frankly suck it up?
View related questions:
cousin, muslim, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Bobito  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Honey, how about some professional counseling? Your mum is clearly missing some vital information about parenting. Does she think she's acting for your best when she gives you an ultimatum? She needs some professionals who make her realize she's being childish and selfish. Also, get her some books about homosexuality that are approved by the world medical association. She will find out that homosexuals are born the way they are. About the interfaith problem, here's one for you. Read the Bible and show your mother how some parts of it (the leviticus, for instance) condemn the most random things (like eating shellfish). Show her how the Bible is the expression of faith and desire of preservation of a specific society set in a specific time and place, to which you DO NOT belong. You're jewish so you don't consider Jesus to be the Messiah, but you still consider him to be a prophet, right? Well, Jesus taught us to love people despite all differences. The fact that you love that woman and that you can see how wonderful she is despite social/religious differences can only be a beautiful expression of God-enlightened love.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Moo's Mum put it perfectly!
If you are happy with your gf, then go for it, be proud and don't let your mum try boss you around. You are fully capable of knowing what you want in life and who you want to be with. Don't let your mum affect your relationship. It is very difficult, but eventually she will accept it, or even just learn to live with it.
Don't let her get you down, just focus on finishing uni and being happy with your gf. All will work out, stay positive
...............................
A
female
reader, Bibeauty +, writes (10 September 2010):
Bibeauty is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow Moo's Mum that's a really bold answer. Wasn't expecting that. Frankly, as much as that is brave I just don't know if I can go through with just taking off like that and leave my Mom all alone. The truth is, I'm almost positive she's serious with her ultimatums. Even though, I don't think she'd ever kick me out. She may never speak to me and my situation would be far worse than it is now.
Isn't there another way? A way that means more probability of staying home WHILE enjoying my relationship with the person I care so dearly about? Is that so much to ask?
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 I would call her out on her ultimatum. Next time she says choose her or me tell her I choose her what are you going to do about it? If the worst happens and she kicks you out, you will survive! This happens to plenty of people and they mostly all get there. If your relationship makes you happy then grab it with both hands and don't hide. It's a very high probability your mother is bluffing.
...............................
|
