A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i have a big problem. We have a communication problem between us that's related to big family matters which cause bad fights between us. Because of this, my kids are suffering, it creates a weird atmpsphere sometimes.What should i do? My husband never accepts the facts that these situations give crazy feelings sometimes. Help me. I don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 We used to have huge fights over money issues with my ex who expects my husband to pay for everything for my children. It got to the stage where hubbie was starting to slag ex off to my kids - not good especially as they adore hubbie and he adores them. The solution was to not discuss it ever again. I have learned to ask ex for more to make new hubbie happier and appreciate that he shouldnt be required to pay for everything and he has learned not to interfere in anyway in these discussions or decisions and allows me to deal with him by myself. Would that be possible in your case - for the one of you dealing with it to sort it out alone and not involve the other unless absolutely necessary. The other party then has to accept that they may not be happy about something but have to live with it x difficult without knowing the full story
A
female
reader, Aunt tilly +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Depending on what the family dispute is actually over, have you ever thought about getting them all together and making a stand. In a rational and adult manner sit down and let each one have their say, then sort it out fom there. If you make the first move to do this it may make your husband listen and accept that there is a problem. In situations like this you will find that a lot of men tend to develope the "ostrich syndrome" in other words he,s burying his head in the sand hoping it will all go away, this is probably because he,s as sick of it as you but he does,nt know how to deal with it. Try organising a big family meal get them all round, and let them know there is to be no arguing just talking to sort things out. And most of all let them know how its making you feel and unfair it all is for your children. When people within a family have greviences with each other and there is constant bickering, children will pick up on these things, even if there is no raised voices, as you say the atmosphere is weird at times. This is not healthy for them, take action my dear you sound as though you have the strength to do it, and emember we,re always here for you if you need us. Let us know how you get on.
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