A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid!I've got some issues that I'm really not sure how to deal with. My boyfriend is very bipolar and it's really starting to take its toll on me. I'll try and keep this post as short as I can. We have been going out for about 9 months now, in the beginning everything was fine but I guess that was the wooing phase and "honeymoon period". But even after about 4 months it started to get difficult. But I feel a real connection with him so I kept fighting for us. He gets in these moods and cant get out of them, he is very directionless in life and doesnt know what he wants to do. He hates his job and it brings him down a lot as well. He doesnt believe in medication and would hate to take it as he feel he would loose whats left of himself. I understand that, I really do. I suffer from depression myself but it gets hard to support yourself and your partner. Hes very self absorbed and while I know he cares about me and loves me I find it hard when I'm having a really great day and I want to go round to his house and tell him about it but hes in a mood and it just brings me down and I'm just supporting him constantly. I'm trying to help him find direction, though I'm not sure how. He likes to be alone a lot and it makes me sad that when I havent seen him for a week and hes got spare time and doesnt want to spend it with me because he doesnt want any company. When I love someone I want to spend time with them.He gets in moods where he just cries about life and says he wants to die. It makes me feel horrible and I dont know what to do. I feel this huge weight on my shoulders and I'm constantly worrying about him and our relationship. Since about december he has been loosing interest in sex. It's now gotten to the point where we havent had sex in a month and he just doesnt really want to anymore. He said hes never in the mood or gets worried and anxious about life and cant relax. I've stepped back and tried not to pressure him about it as sex in the beginning with him was amazing and I like to think we can get that back. But these days he just seems constantly depressed and its impossible to get close and intimate with him and make him want me. It makes me in turn feel rejected. We have had numerous conversations about breaking up but when it comes to it I really really love him. I'm still madly in love with him. I try to imagine myself being or sleeping with someone else but all I want is him. Yes he can bring me down but I'm trying to hard to make this work. Right now I feel as though hes not fighting anymore to keep us together. He tells me he doesnt want to break up. I'm just finding it difficult to make him feel better when I dont even know how. Has anyone else been in a relationship with a Bipolar person before? I just love him so much and dont want to lose him. I want our sex life back and the intimacy we used to share. I've told him all of this and I just wouldnt mind some advice.I apologise for the long post, I hope its understandable!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): Well I can help you on this matter cause I have Bi polar disorder as well. And I can tell you from experiance that a bi polar person needs to be on meds. Have you ever studied the disorder? Try to imagine all your emotions hate love anger sadness all wrapped into one try to imagine what it would feel like to feel all these emotions at the same time. You can't can you? Only a person who has bi polar can do this. One minute there happy the next sad there are fazes of mania that we go through and periods where your completely normal as well but it never last you always ethier end up really happy like overly happy ex. Talking fast, spending alot of money higher sex drive, makeing unwise desions stuff like that. If you hang out with someone in this faze of mania your bound to think they are the life of the party. as a matter of fact most comics are bi polar like Robin Williams. The other part of this mania is the person brian is open and they are very creative such as fellow bi polar person Vincent Vangogh. Ok but the oppisite of this type of mania what I like to call the crash is when you feel overwhelming sadness this person feels usless ,thinks about death or taking thier lives, they feel guilt and loose interest in everything they once enjoyed. yes even sex. I suggest to you that you help your boyfriend get him HELP you said you love him and you need to help and be there for him. Believe me once he is put on meds he will be so much better they are called mood stabilizers and they stop you from the extreme highs and extreme lows. I myself take Depikote and it works wonders. Have him make an appt with his regular family Doc and discuse it with the Doc they can help. Bi Polar is very common he has no need to be ashamed or live like this when he can get help. The medical world has really ivoled on Bi Polar once called manic depression. I suggest you look it up to read more about it and GET HIM HELP. it is VERY DANGEROUS for a Bi Polar person to go unmedicated because of the suicide rate you don't want that so get him help and God Bless
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey all, thanks for your advice. He doesnt take meds and never has, but he smokes a lot of pot to "escape". I just want to help him. He cant afford to see a therapist as they are very expensive and he doesnt earn much money otherwise he would. I'm still a firm believer that "love can conquer all" but in this situation its freaking difficult.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (2 April 2010):
My ex was bipolar and he never took medication. He would self-medicate with illegal drugs. If your boyfriend doesn't get on any sort of medication, DUMP HIM NOW! If you think it's bad now, it'll only get worse.
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