A
female
age
36-40,
*esirewhitefire
writes:My boyfriend is a lathe operator at a mill and works extremely long hours. His job is demanding and drains a lot of his energy. Sometimes this affects his ability to get an erection. I don't really worry about this; it's not frequent and if it happens, it happens. He seems to be taking it very personal though...he's a big strong guy, and I think the thought that he's having problems sometimes at his age (33) is really getting to him. Anyways, last night he came over my place after work. He went to the doctor before work and asked for a prescription for Cialis...I did not ask him to look into it, I've never even mentioned a problem I may have with him not being able to stay hard. When he loses and erection we usually lay in bed and I get massage oil and work on his body, try to relax him and tell him how much I love him. After I do this to him he falls asleep and in the middle of the night he's up and ready to go. This system does not bother me at all. So last night he takes this Cialis pill and it was awful for me...I didn't get one minute of sleep, I dozed off a couple times during the entire ordeal, and he was rearing to go every hour. After the fourth hour of enduring this I was pretty sore and all I wanted to do was pass out. Eventually I got him settled and he spooned against my back...5 minutes after that he's ripping the blanket back off us and between my legs. He was very pleased with himself this morning. I'm dragging ass. The thought that this could happen again makes me shudder. Don't get me wrong, I love sex and I never turn it down from him when he wants it. But he was so happy with the results and seems to think that I was all about having 7 hours (YES, SEVEN FULL HOURS) of sex. I don't know any woman except a seasoned porn star who could tolerate that much. I can't even remember some of the time we spent having sex because I was so exhausted and tired.I'm afraid if I mention my plight he's going to feel hurt. This whole losing his erections because of fatigue is really bothering him, and instead of trying therapeutic solutions with me like the massaging and other things I do with him, he has found the magic pill. Any suggestions on how to bring the subject up?(I know that Cialis doesn't make a man horny, but the slightest touch to his penis...me shifting, the blanket moving...is what made him erect again.)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, desirewhitefire +, writes (21 June 2011):
desirewhitefire is verified as being by the original poster of the question He is on the lower dose...I think I'm going to take the advice from the female anon...I think it's important that I don't say "You hurt me", he might translate that as "Well she doesn't like it when I can preform and I can't last long enough when I'm tired so now what...". I think if I do play on the "you don't need a full dose of help" it will flatter him enough to keep him feeling appreciated and he won't think I don't like having sex. I don't think the amount of time we actually had sex is of any concern to him...he's a big strong man, I think the novelty of being able to say he was able to "please" me that long is a great ego boost for him, and I don't want to take that away from him. Honestly, sex with him is wonderful. It's not all just intercourse, he's all over the place and never leaves me unfulfilled. When we first started dating I never had an orgasm through intercourse yet and he's able to do that to me. I think the fact that he's the only one that's been able to give me orgasms through sex alone has put a lot of pressure on him to be able to stay hard long enough for me to have an orgasm. Before when he would lose his erection and I was close, he would give me oral or touch me until I did orgasm, but I know he was disappointed in himself. In any event, I'm going to try the "you don't need that much help" approach and see where it goes. I think it's a good idea if I wait until the moment he decides to take it, because then it won't look like I'm dreading it, you know...And Hugh.J, trust me...you don't want it to work for you like that...well, at least your significant other won't, lol.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): Owwwwwwwwwww! No wonder you're sore!OK, here's the thing - guys worry excessively, ridiculously, stupidly much about anything to do with their crown jewels. Being unable to get hard - even occasionally - is seen by them as a huge deal, something humiliating that makes them less masculine. I am sure that you have heaped him with reassurance - you sound like precisely the loving, caring, warmhearted partner that a guy who occasionally has this issue needs. But the fact is that, in his head, he still feels inadequate. Having taken this pill, and been able to perform like that, probably restored his faith in himself and his masculinity no end. Next time he reaches for the Cialis, maybe just raise an eyebrow and suggest with a smile that he might only need half. Make out like it's a 'you honestly don't need a whole pill of help!' issue. Then look him straight in the eye and ask him to be gentle with you - don't be scared to be vulnerable. Make a joke out of the fact that you were a little sore last time, and that explain while 7 hours was an amazing, mindblowing, wonderful 'one off' it's not something you can sustain. Try to keep the mood loving, gentle, and romantic rather than wild and energetic, as you'll still be feeling sore. Hopefully he'll get the idea - if not a well-placed 'ow' should sort it out! :)
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (21 June 2011):
 By the way, I wish Cialis worked that well for me!
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (21 June 2011):
How should you know, Gabrielle, I'm intrigued?
Cut the pill in half - it will still work and you will get some respite from all-night sex!
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (21 June 2011):
 Tell him you'd rather he didn't take it, I mean honestly, seven hours must be torture! Not even the most seasoned porn star can handle that much, I mean I should know!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): Have him get a lower dose, or if already on the lower dose, not take it at all.
"except a seasoned porn star who could tolerate that"
Hey, seasoned porn stars don't tolerate that. Prostitutes maybe, or low income porn stars, but as one porn star said in an interview I heard "we girls just can't do what the men do, we are more delicate".
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