A
female
 ,
*uskyrowe
writes:hi my name is called rose and ive been dating this guy for 3 months at 1st he was very receptive but now he has become distant. he suffers from acute depression as he has recently got divorced and 3 small kids. when we do get together he is loving but now he hardly phones me he said its not me and he shuts himself away cos he has these black moods he said he really likes me and wants a future but im not sure if he is just saying that,please help
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (25 September 2006):
 You need to find out if he is getting any kind of help or support for his depression as most cases of depression can only get worse if ignored, if he isn't then you need to talk to him and get him to see he needs to see someone regarding this and try your best to be there for him and let him know he's got your support but you alone may not be enough to help him through.
A break up of a marriage especially involving children is hard and he is going to take time in getting over this and once he is there maybe a future for you both but until he is over this and dealing with his depression issues this will always be in the way of anything you both can share together.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2006): Clinical depression can be very hard to deal with, and can indeed make someone just want to hole up at home. Do you know if he is getting treatment?
He probably does like you. Only thing is, if he is recently divorced, it is going to take time for him to sort out his feelings and come to terms with the break-up of his marriage. Does he have custody of the children?
Generally speaking, it takes at least a year after a break-up for a person to get back on their feet emotionally and to discover anew who they are as a single person, and what they want - particularly if the marriage was a long one.
You can certainly be supportive of him, and be a good friend, though if he hardly ever phones you now, there is not much more you can do. He is going through a lot, and you can't get your hopes up too much. He might come out of this "black tunnel" in the next several months and decide he wants to go forward with you - or, he might want to date a variety of women. OR, he could decide he cannot get involved in a relationship with anyone at this point.
IF any of these scenarios actually happens, well, don't take it too personally! Its disappointing, but it is the luck of the draw. I'm sure you are a lovely person, and he is aware of that.
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