A
female
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*ammsteinfan
writes:I have been thinking of this question for such a long time. My guy, and I love him very much and I tell him so all the time!! I am glad to say that I do not cheat, or have cheated in my relationships! He told me that when I am in the same room with him, and there happens to be another guy there, if i talk to the other guy too much.and not to him..he has told me that is almost like cheating! I have never heard of that before, so I am confused about that.In past relationships, the guy at that time, and myself would watch x-rated movies and look at the magazines together. We would also touch and play around with each other and I really loved that! But with this relationship, he usually leave the room and goes upstairs and looks at the magazines and touches himself where I am left alone. It makes me feel that he'd rather be with those "paper" women, instead of me! It feels to me that he is kinda cheating on me even though it's only a porn mag!! I hope that doen't sound too stupid on my part! I absolutly love this guy and he treats me good, This relationship that I am in with this man I love more than life itself is the best, most fullfilling I have ever been in and I plan to stay for a long time! Please let me know what I should do about the situation at hand...talking, to me is not cheating....going through the motions is, I think. I thank each and everyone who answers this....I absolutly appreciate it!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): Hey chica. I've dated several men in my life and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM looks at porn. Internet porn in particular is a generational issue that is alluring to BOTH men and women. Here's the deal, I used to get huffy about the porn issue - concerned that he liked them more than myself and so on...but the truth is, if you open that up for discussion, you'll find it's just easier for him to masturbate with an image in front of him than a fantasy. Women are pretty decent with the fantasies...so it's tough to understand. Anyhow, all men (save a VERY few) look at porn AND masturbate. If they didn't, I'd be worried they weren't getting enough testosterone. And if they said they didn't, I'd be worried they were liars.
I'd just open it up for discussion, let him know how you feel about it, and perhaps he'll be more inclined to include you.
Word of advise however, do not expect a 100% decrease in masturbation. We all do it, so relax, and realize it's where he spends the weird fantasies that he probably shouldn't bring to life. Next time you're masturbating, think of this comment, and give him a little slack.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): Anyway, if you had experience in watching porn with your ex before, then the whole porn issue isn't really a big deal if your current bf would watch with u instead of going somewhere alone, and masturbating. I wouldn't absolutely say he's cheating on you, but I can vouch that it's not a good nor healthy thing.
If you and your ex watched porn together to get some form of stimulation going, kind of like a foreplay, the that's great. Whatever churns your butter. [ponders] I think your current bf is inconsiderate of your emotions, and I think if you've talked to him about it, yet he doesn't do anything to change his ways willingly, then you may want to consider finding someone whom can share a similar sexual desire with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006): all men Do not look at porn
yes he is cheating
get rid of him he's not worth having if he's into porn
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006): k well all men look at porn so its not much to worry about but if it is bothering u tht he goes off alot with u in the house and leaves u alone then i think tht maybe u should talk to him and if he dusnt give u an anwser maybe u should try and spice things up in ur relationship tht might stop him lookin at it as much but i cant grantee tht it will stop him completely but dont worry hes not cheating on u men just use porn as a release hes just got a high sex drive thts all
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A
female
reader, ali1987 +, writes (8 October 2006):
 I feel for you i really do. I know exactly how you feel, I feel that if my partner was to look at porn he would be cheating on me. The way I see it is we are together becuase we love each other and no-one else comes close so why are they interested in porn. I am very self consious and therefore if my partner was to be looking at porn I would feel as if im not good enough for him and he prefers the paper women to me. Luckily my partner doesnt look at porn anymore (that i know of), he use to watch it with his mates but thank god he has grown out of that now and he has me. I cant even begin to describe how i would feel if i was in your position, it would break my heart. But if you truely love him and want to be with him long term, then you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he feels the same for you then he should sympathise with you and either stop or include you. I myself think most porn is degrading and hate it, however thats not to say i dont spice up our sex life by having frequent trips to ann summers and buying sexy underwear. The best possible thing you can do is talk to each other, find out what the magazines do for him and try and see if you can create the same situation, that way he is getting his porn but from the woman he loves. you could also try recording snips of your sex life, home porn videos are great for a couples sex life, it can turn you both on and niether of you are worrying about the cheating situation.
I hope this helps.
xxx
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