A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've never written for help about this kind of thing before but I really don't know who else to ask. I've been with my boyfriend for just over two years now and, until recently, things had been great. About six months ago, though, he started hanging out with this local band called Trousersnake (I'm not joking). The band basically pride themselves on being misogynistic and crude. Since he started going to see them he's become so offensive towards me and pretty much all women. Any time I bring this up with him he laughs at me and tells me to "stop trying to grind him down". I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but before he became like this I really did love him. I don't think that this is the kind of person he really is. I just want him to be the way he used to be and to stop seeing those idiots. Thanks for any advice you can give me.Aoife, Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): Thanks for your advice everyone. To answer your questions, he's not in the band but he does hang out with them. Not in a kind of "hanger-on" way but I do really think that, when he's with them, they're more laughing AT his antics than WITH them. I know the general trend of advice here is to give up on him and move on but I was hoping to avoid that. I think he has a good heart but he just finally feels like he's with the in-crowd. Plus I've, admittedly, become a bit jealous of the other girls he hangs out with now that he's part of that crowd and have found myself going out of my way to (well...) "spice things up" in the bedroom department.I've genuinely thought (as slutty as it sounds) to, maybe, start flirting with, or even trying to sleep with, one of the guys in the band to see how HE likes it...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): You have to appreciate the unforeseen consequences of change and embrace. The good thing is that you've had a positive experience so far, the great being that tis time to move on and explore. Only so many hours in a lifetime, you'd wanna choose wisely how u spend em.
...............................
A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (11 April 2011):
If he's actually in the band, remind him that the definition of a musician without a girlfriend is 'homeless'.
...............................
|
