A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi, my bf and i have been together for 3 years, he is 26 and i am 21, the problem is about 1 week ago i noticed he started going on to a chat website,this website is used for making friends, penpals, general chat or dating, and also allows u to use webcams.he started spendng heaps of time on it, ignoring me, so i joined up too, hoping he then would talk to me also.anyway to keep this short, i felt he was not just trying to mkae friends on there as he clamed so and a friend of mine agreed to set up a fake account and try hit on him to see what he would do, and well i guess u could say i busted him, he told this girl that "he ws going to have a shower and wanted her to watch" said he had a gf but wish he had never meet me, told this girl that he would f%c* her tomorrow when he is home alone and gave her a time, and he even agreed to meet her in person while i was at work, they swapped email addy's.phone numbers and he gaver her his car details.i confronted him about it, told him it was over and stormed out of the house. i later went back told him i was sorry i set him up but my instincts were telling me something, i told him i would like to give it another ago if he is willing, so we have decided to give it another go. the problem is that when we finally talked about it he went totally off topic and went on about everything he hates about me and my family and said soo many hurtful things, yet he still has not said sorry for what he did or even Acknowledged what he did was wrong, he wont aswer any of my questions. i dont know what to do, i want to stay with him because i care for him yet i feel he just has no respect for me or how i feel, i asked if he still loved me and he said yes, and i asked if he still wanted to stay with me, and he said yes but only because he has no choice.i dont know what to do, we live together and i though everything was ok with us, but all of a sudden im a bad person and all this stuff has been going on behind my back, i have no place else to go if i leave him and im scared of being alone. what do i do
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Hi again,
I understand how you feel. Its miserable living with a person that shows no love or affection. Cant you see, he wont say sorry because quite simply HE'S not.
I cant believe you have no freinds, everyone has some dont they. And I dont blame you for not wanting to go back to your parents, you probably see this as a step back in your life. But cant you see that unless you take this step back, you cannot move forward.
You are only 21 years old, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Dont spend it with an arse, and waste any more of your Precious time with him.
If you move back with your family and stand up to him, you will make yourself feel better, and who knows, maybe you will teach this person a valuable lesson.
Take care XX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust an update, thanks for the advice, well we talked more, he said only one thing he said out of everything was true and that was he was mad at me about omething i said to him.
he still has not said sorry, or anything, and he is not showing any effection towards me, im the one who has to say i love you, give hugs or a kiss, i get nothing.
i cant leave as i have no friends and i dont want to live with my family.
i dont know how to leave. i dont know why his not showing me any effection. i did'nt do anything wrong
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): it hurts and is hard to end things - but you must.the relationship is already finished. You cant move on with your life as is and you need to do so.
Do what you have to do and get out of this situation.you owe it to yourself
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 April 2007):
Hi,
Hate to say this honey but he was going to cheat on you. You are letting this man get away with treating you like dirt, so dont think for one minute that he loves you. Im sorry to be so negative, but would you treat someone you love like that.
Do your best to get out of your situation, by being with you family or friends. Maybe one of them could help you with a place to live until you sort your life out.
I am speaking from experience, and once you let a partner treat you like this, they will always carry on that way. You are heading for a life of misery if you let yourself stay.
Be brave and tell him to sod off, you will feel so much better that you did in the end.
Please keep us posted, and let us know how you get on. XXX
...............................
A
male
reader, Evan  +, writes (12 April 2007):
Call the police department from his cell phone and say that you placed a bomb in the building. Use a pillow or something to disguise your voice. Then hang up. Hopefully the police will bust his ass and you'll have the whole place to yourself for about 8 to 10.
-Evan
...............................
A
male
reader, pfairypepper  +, writes (12 April 2007):
You have to leave him. If you don't he'll keep disrespecting you and cheating on you. You'll only be brought into self depression, you need to figure out a place to go to get away from him. I'm soo sorry about this, my greatest fear is that my boyfriend will cheat on me. If you still want to stick it out, try again to talk to him and this time really get his attention.
...............................
A
female
reader, SteppedOn +, writes (12 April 2007):
Coming from someone who had the EXACT same thing happen to me...I have been with the guy who did that to me for 6 years now and he continues to disrespect me. He definately knows that once he "gets away" with treating me like that he will continue to do it. I have had several situations similar to that since it happened 5 years ago and I like you, am to chicken to leave. It is to the point that I am mad at myself for "letting" him treat me like that and get away with it. I wish I could take my own advice and get out...try your hardest, it is not going to get any better!
...............................
|
