A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Religion is a touchy subject between couples especially when they have their own religion. I’m in a situation right now with my boyfriend as a Christian and me being someone who’s open to Christianity. I used to go to a Christian school, used to go to church and summer camps with friends when I was young. My parents on the other hand had some bad encounter with some Christian being too pushy. I’m in no way opposing to my boyfriend’s religion. I’m interest in hearing more about it. Some how, I’m scare to show my interest in front of him.My boyfriend is a firm believer and he really wants me to believe in it too. He said it bugs him that my attitude is “okay, cool, alright.” For example, if he wants to go to church with him, I’ll come along. He said it’s not good when I don’t take it seriously. The truth is I’m not taking it non-seriously; I just don’t want him to think I am showing interest because he really wants me to become a Christian. He’s being very gentle with this matter. He’s not pushy or forcing me to make a decision soon. However, I don’t know how to handle the religion matter between us. I heard couples with different religions will have major problems in their relationship. I don’t want to tell him I believe just to make him happy. But I can see it’s bugging him very much right now. What should I do?
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female
reader, Cleo  +, writes (29 March 2007):
I absolutely agree with Blue Rat.
Quite apart from the utter misery that religion has caused over the years, why on earth would you want to let a 'god' who, by the way if you look at the evidence (or lack thereof) is extremely unlikely to even exist, interfere in a real life relationship between people who care about each other.
A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (29 March 2007):
Be true to yourself and your own beliefs, ideas, opinions. You can't cultivate a set of religious beliefs or way of life just to please a partner. Be yourself and don't allow yourself to be pressurised in any way.
Personally I have no time for the organized mass religions of the world. Since the dawn of civilization, religion is at the route of a hideous litany of wars, massacres, torture, pogroms, genocides, subjugation, terror, division, domination, the suppression of basic freedoms and the imposition of dogma. It remains at the root of a great many of the world's problems today and seems to me nothing more than a blight on humanity and the cause of misery on a massive scale. We'd all be much better off without it.
But hey, that's just my opinion!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): You say you're 'open' to christianity. What does that mean? Does that mean you're curious about it and would be interested in finding out more? That you think it might be for you, but you're nervous to put that out there, tentatively, b/c you'll either get locked in before you're ready or b/c you won't be taken seriously?
It sounds like religion is obviously something that's really important to your bf, and something that you're somewhat ambivalent about. If that's the case, you might consider telling him that you'd like the opportunity to do some exploring on your own. Maybe spend some time actually learning what it's all about, and see if it might be for you. CS Lewis has a book called Mere Christianity that i think christians of all denominations generally agree has the basics of their beliefs -- you might check it out. Or maybe consider joining a group without him - some kind of women's group.
All of this should only be if you're actually curious and interested in learning more, for you. It's fine if you wouldn't have thought of it on your own, but now that you've met your bf and see the impact his religion has on his life, you're interested to learn more - that's not the same as taking on a religion that you don't really believe in, just to please someone else.
You need to believe what makes sense to you, but there's no reason you can't explore a little, if you're still not totally sure what that is.
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