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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I have been dating my fiance for over 5 years now, and since we got the internet installed I have come across some of the sites he has been viewing, he has even bought Fetish DVD's online, how I know this...it aint hard to click on the history icon :o( I am really low in self esteem and feel our sex life is not as it use to be, I have put on weight and hate myself. Now I am really depressed as I know he has been getting "satisfcation" of a different kind online. I Dont know what to do.Does he still love me and find me attratcive? He says he does but his actions say something else.I need help!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (10 March 2005):
 You have two choices here, as I see it. You either end the relationship and find someone who is more interested in you than unattainable women on a screen or you work at receiving the reassurance and attention that you so rightly deserve.Try telling him exactly how you feel. Explain that you feel rejected, that you have lost confidence in your looks and the way he feels about you. Say you want your sex life to be even better than what it is now and would he like to work at achieving that with you? Say how upsetting you find with him watching porn. How would he feel if you did the same?Without meaning to sound like a feminist, the trouble with some men is that they are so visually orientated that they cannot help but be turned on by things like porn and as a result feel the need to watch. But half the time they already have their sex goddess! These women cannot provide the love and support that you can give your fiance and the real sex that you can both indulge in. Explain this to him and ask him to work with you at the relationship.I really hope this helps.
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