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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My bf left me for who i thought was my best friend because he said that he had feelings for her. It got to the point where i had to ask him why he even went out with me in the first place and he said he doesn't know. I then asked if he was leaving me for my best friend and he said yes , that it was only this week his feelings had changed and that he feels so confused at the moment about it all. He wanted to stay friends with me saying that he does love me he just doesnt feel it is enough to stay with me. I broke all contact off with him i want nothing more to do with him. I have been betrayed in the worst possible way a person can be; thing was when i was with him my best friend would never leave us alone, she would get jealous and sabotage us when possible to the point where i felt unbelievably insecure we had fought most of her attacks off or so i thought. She would say things to me like guys were only flirting with me to make her jealous, continuously comparing me to her to big herself up and satisfy her insecurities after everything i had been through with her i always thought she would support me i guess that ship has sailed. The following day when i went back to college i was not going to talk to her because i didnt want to i felt she had been the reason my bf left me. She broke down in tears when i told her she said she had no idea what was going on and that she cannot imagine me not being in her life anymore because she loves me as a sister to much to lose me. She pleaded with me to not hate her , to trust her. She has a history for sleeping around and her and my bf did go out as lovers but it was a long time ago and they both promised me it was over. I feel so hurt and betrayed by them both. How can they expect me to want to stay friends with them after all of this? A week on i do not know how feel about either of them i feel hate towards her but love to its all so confusing for me because i cannot depict any particular emotion anymore. I wanted to stay friends with her but i no longer feel i can trust her i thought true friends were ones that you can trust with your life and you should have no doubt in your mind they would hurt you, that you can trust them. I no longer feel i can why do i feel this way? I want to stay friends with her but the more time i spend with her the more of a bully she seems to be but then she acts all clingy with me, i have asserted myself lately put her in her place if you like after i do so she acts all werid then hugs me to death! It's really werid why is she like this with me?
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best friend, flirt, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 February 2008):
 It could be her guilt and insecurity or she has a mental problem.
A
male
reader, Chris121  +, writes (2 February 2008):
First of all, you've got to realize that your friend has nothing to do with your boyfriend leaving you. She may have been the reason he left, but remember that was his decision and had nothing to do with her. Equally, I can see where your coming from, the way she treats you at the moment isn't right.
If you really want her as a friend, you have to tell her that you don't agree with the way she acts, and tell her that what she's doing now is not how friends should be. If she doesn't change, you have to ask yourself: is that a person you really want as your friend?
She obviously thinks the world of you though, so give her a chance. She hasn't gone out with your ex (I hope) so obviously she values you over him.
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