A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have/had been going out with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years. We met 10 years ago and were best friends for 7 years before finally getting together. He had always had feelings for me but I never felt the same until 3 1/2 years ago when we decided to give it a go as a couple. We became very close and had a great relationship. We were both full of affection for each other and everyone around us told us we were the perfect couple and it was so obvious how in love we were.He is the sweetest guy and always looked after me and was completely devoted. My emotions went up an down for the first 2 years and I wasn't sure how I felt but the last year/6 months I realsied he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I completely loved him (still do!). I thought that recently we were the happiest we have ever been. We were talking about moving abroad together.However, last week, completely out of the blue after we'd been out for a lovely dinner together he told me he wanted to end our relationship. He said he was really confused about what he wanted from life and that he didn't love me anymore. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I couldn't believe it. I was so shocked, it seemed to come from no where. We have talked and talked about it and he just seems so unhappy and says he feel like he has no life anymore. He has a very stressful job which I know really gets him down and requires him to work very long hours. He seems to be having some kind of crisis. I don't know if its his ages and he suddenly feels like he has to make some kind of life commitment.He says I am still his best friend and that he still wants to do all the things we did before together just without the relationship. I don't know what to do. I am completely devastated.I love him so much and I am finding it hard to believe that this is actually what he wants. Whenever we meet up we both get very upset and he looks at me and behaves like he still loves me (although he says he doesn't). What we had was so special and he admits that, I just can't bare to throw away that and the last 3 years.What shall I do? How can I get through this or how can I get him to give us another chance?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Just know that the pain WILL heal with time. You have to be strong in knowing that. I wasn't sure if I would ever feel better after my five year marriage ended in infidelity and divorce but now, two years later, I feel better than I ever did in the relationship (it didn't take two years to start feeling better). I would suggest that you stop hanging out together because it's just going to continue to open those wounds. If you are still hanging out together and he starts dating someone else it will crush you more than it does now. I'm sorry for your loss, but it's been my experience that it's best to make a clean break. If the relationship didn't work when it was great it will not work now with the pain and memory of this hurtful event. Best of luck to you.
A
male
reader, rossiboy confessions +, writes (1 April 2007):
 hi there tht is a really sad story and i feel for u 110% what you are going through and i feel he may feel trapped and is not having a fun life i think work is major factor because working long hours and no time to yourself does get ou down and he may be coming to that age where he feels aint alot of time left to have fun enjoy himself in which he is wrong , life goeso n and you can still have fun and enjoy it , he pushing you away because peopel push peopel they love most when they got problems , he does need help he gong through depression , time away from each other will help you both time to fink, act on this and it may egnite some fire in his belly that he misses you and have you told him how you feel because it will be a slow progress depression takes months , not weeks hunni be fragile, talk not shout ok best of luck rossiboy
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): I forgot to mention that we are also in the same friendship group and have had the same friends for years. This is making it even more difficult.
...............................
|
