A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A year ago I found out my boyfriend of one year slept with someone I considered a good friend behind my back multiple times. Obviously I was devastated, but I gave him a second chance and accepted him back into my life. During the past year I have came to terms with what happened thanks to my friends and families help. A couple of months ago me and my boyfriend split up but then decided we both wanted to work things out so we began trying to fix things. It was during this time that my BEST friend who saw how devastated I was the first time he cheated on me, slept with my boyfriend a few times behind my back in the space of a week. I only found out a month later and I am lost at what to do. Obviously, I'll never accept him back into my life as a lover again, he's ridiculed me. But I'm completely confused as what to do about my best friend. I love her so much, she was the best friend I could have ever asked for. She was the one who (reluctantly) told me about their quick fling and she wouldn't stop crying and telling me how sorry she was and how she didn't deserve me as a friend. I'm not sure if I can ever forgive her for this but I want to. Any advice would be great. Please try to be non bias, I only really want advice on what to do about my friend, thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): They are not your friends...neither of them.
Friends don't do this to friends.
HOWEVER, are you sure about this boyfriend. I read this as being two "friends" that slept with him behind your back, the first time a different friend from the second time.
Either you pick friends very poorly (betrayed by three), or he may be using a date rape type drug "roofie", or other drugs or alcohol to impair these partners.
On the other hand, if it is the same friend twice, then you just got two awful friends.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): No way! I'm sorry but you want advice and I'm going to give it to you- ditch her! This wasn't just one little fling, it was multiple times! A one off is a mistake, to sleep with him again and again just shows complete disregard for your friendship!
She 'reluctantly' told you meaning she had every selfish intention of keeping it to herself!
Who needs enemies with friends like these?
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (25 July 2011):
I think you did the right thing about your (ex?) boyfriend.
About your friend, people do make mistakes which they hopefully learn from. Friendships get tested, and this is one of those times. If you value her friendship, and think she is sincere then give the friendship another chance. You don't have to expect, or want, things to go back exactly to how they were, things take time. Eventually, I think you will forgive her, and forget about what happened.
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A
female
reader, MaySpring  +, writes (25 July 2011):
I think it's good that your not accepting your ex back. I also think you should forgive your friend, after all, she's the best friend you could have ever asked for. It's gonna take some time to move on from this, but it'll be worth it afterwards.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 She did it mutiple times? Behind your back? Do you really want a best friend who does that?
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