A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this is a friendship question, but I really need advice!To make a long story short, my best friend left for college a couple weeks ago and I am staying at home and going to community college for the time being. This summer she seemed completely willing to make every effort to stay in touch, and she even asked me to come help her move in the first weekend. Then, at the last minute, she told me it wouldn't be a good idea for me to go because she would be busy. Then, she blew off plans we had to meet up before she left because she was too busy getting ready to go. I texted her a couple days after she got there asking how everything was and suggesting we skype or talk on the phone, and she said she was too busy, yet again. She apologized and said later in the week we would. I decided to wait for her to contact me because she seemed to keep brushing me off, and a week later she still made no effort to contact me. So I finally texted her asking what was going on, and she said nothing was wrong, she just "never thinks to call or text" me in her free time. I asked what was wrong and why she was pushing me away, and she said nothing was wrong, she just felt that best friends shouldn't need to talk all the time and that she and another friend of hers went 3 months without talking and it was fine. So essentially, what she's saying is that she rarely wants to talk to me and I should be okay with that. Am I too sensitive? Do I expect too much from her wanting to be in contact regularly? Should I just give her space or try to fight for our friendship? People keep telling me she is not a good friend and doesn't appreciate me, but I love her like my sister and I'm confused. Please help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): Give ur friend some time 2 get adjusted 2 her new life. Whenever u make a new transition in life things change. Don't take it so personally. She hadn't 4got about u but she isn't going 2 b able 2 speak 2 like the"old days" If u decide 2 start a university u will understand that transition. B supportive of her by making plans whenever the 2 of u have time. My advice 2 u is 2 start making a transition urself. Concentrate on ur studies, make new friends, get a part time (if u don't have one), and also enjoy a little alone time. Believe me when u get 2 my age u r going 2 wish u had time 2 urself! Right now enjoy urself! This is the most exciting time of life! Revel in it! Best of luck 2 u!
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (30 August 2012):
Your best friend is making new friends at college. This is a healthy way to transition into adulthood. She still cares about you, but she has moved away from her family and friends to attend college. These first few weeks are incredibly important for her socially. Between classes, extracurricular activities, making new friends, etc. she honestly doesn't have extra time right now.
Please, use this opportunity to expand your horizons and make new friends at the community college you will be attending.
If your friend has plans to return home during her fall or winter breaks, i'm sure both of you will be able to catch up then.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): Okay. I came from another country and I still have contact with my friends. Obviously we dont talk every day like before. We have different lives and it is hard to be available at the same time! I think she is still your friend, she is only busy and getting used to a new life. You should be really suportive as it can be difficult. Try talking thru e-mails! that way she has time to answer them whenever she can. Txt you can forget you got them. e-mails no so much. So be patient! A good friendship is always worth fighting for :)
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