A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I prefer having sexual friendships with long time female friends over having a relationship with a woman say from a dating site or met through friends. I had a long time friend who's married to a drunk beg me for sex. I have to say it was some of the best sex I ever had because I felt close by knowing her for years. I was intrigued how it was with a friend, so I asked another female long time friend for sex, she agreed as long as it was just sex. It was over the top and we kept it going for a few years. I recently had another sexual relationship with a friend and again it was great. I had a girlfriend for a year. I met her on the web, very sexy and a pretty woman but I could not connect emotionally to sex with her, all I could think about was my 3 friends I had sex with and how much I'd rather have been with any one of them. What is up with that? I can't believe I blew off this beautiful woman because I'd rather be screwing my long time plain female friends who also enjoyed the sex a lot too. I feel like I'm stuck on having sex only with the women I've know for years and all these woman I did this with I've known since grade school. Am I the only person who loves friends with benefits over a real relationship?
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 You are an emotionally unavailable man. Meaning, you don't mind using women for sex, but in a real relationship, there's more going on that just sex. You have to develop real social skills. You have to learn to compromise (it's not all about your little winky). You have to learn how to treat a woman with respect. How to love and how to show love. Since you do not possess these skills, it's much easier to use and move on. What an empty life. Enjoy it while you can. It doesn't last forever.
A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (3 November 2012):
Assuming your story is true. I do not understand how a 'friend' would be as evil as you are to these men. I would like to give advice but you seem like someone who is a sociopath that does not have concern for fellow human beings. I truly hope your life gets better and that would start with counseling, which you would not do.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 FWBs mean guaranteed sex, no rejection no hassle no messy arguments, but also no warmth and closeness you need when you feel down and lonely. This is just in general, people want to be in relationships, but that's not to say that choosing to be single is uncommon or abnormal. It is a trade off. Drunken sex is like easily available junk food while romantic love has a higher quality. I don't think you can argue that drunken sex is better. In a serious relationship the focus would not be on sex but on a person's psyche, his growth and sex is just a part of it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): Seems to me like you enjoy an adulterous, guilty screw with out the commitment. This is all pretty typical, but at some point, something will click with you and you will find the woman of your dreams. Just hope karma is on your side when you do find her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): I think the real secret to you liking friends with benefits situation even if a woman not that much your type, because you don't have to do anything here. You don't have to keep relationship going, you don't need to spend money, you don't have any responsibility, you don't need to stay faithful. Nothing, you are a free man banging your old desperate friends. How convenient for you. That's why you like it so much.
What else would it be. You have the greatest sex, you connect emotionally, yet they remain your friends. When this 2 conditions present people ussualy become couples.
Be aware though , women are not like men. We do get attached to a man that we connect emotionally and have great sex with. Even if this man is plain looking.
I could never understand this FWB arrangement for women. I m a woman, and I don't know any women in my surrounding who are willing just to have sex with a guy for a hack of it. Especially if a woman is single and eligible. To risk you emotional well being like that? But that's a different question.
All I can say, if you keep going like that , you will end up a very lonely man without friends or a partner in life.
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