A
female
age
26-29,
*ilpepper
writes:Hey guys, I'd really appreciate it if you could help me with this.I'm 15 and I've been in love with the same guy for around a year.Everything started a year ago, when I met him in class. We had about 4 classes a week together and we developed something like a friendship. We would tease each other, talk about music, films, books, every day problems ( we had a lot in common), but all that time I was in love with him. We were both two weird kids, both single, both a little bit nerdy...And then the school year ended and everything changed. He found a lot of new friends and formed a band. A lot of girls started liking him and I really started feeling a huge amount of jealousy. We were still in touch, but only online. He talked about his band a lot, invited me to their gigs... There was one time when I couldn't come to his gig and he couldn't stop talking about how sad he felt, how much he missed me and all that stuff. But you know, I just knew that he meant it in a friendly manner.A month ago, he moved to a big city. Now he has new friends, a new band, he even got a scholarship from a jazz academy... He still tries to chat with me, but I'm just not sure. I feel like he's doing it just to be polite.Somehow, I'm still in love with him. I know that if I tried a little more, that I could get any guy I want, but I can't stop thinking of him. My friends know that I was in love with him, but they think that it ended a long time ago. Being in love with the same guy for a year, without an actual relationship involved, is a little bit dumb, don't you think?So.. To sum it all up, I don't know what to do. How can I stop thinking of him? :(Btw, I'm not from an English speaking country, I forgot to turn the spell checker on, my grammar sucks and you don't have to tell me all that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): Well, girl, I have nearly the exact same problem. Forming a band/getting new friends/talking online, etc. I really wish I could tell you what to do, but I myself dont know.
I mean, I would try and muster up the guts to tell him how you feel, or just pose a question - maybe write him a letter? To be honest, you're either going to be hung up on him for a while, or you'll know for certain how he feels. Even if you get turned down, you guys would probably end up being friends again after a while. Good luck.
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