A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can I have someone tell me the difference between being in love and having a crush?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): This never made sense to me, until I fell in love. My other boyfriends had always been easy to let go, but this boy, even though we aren't going out I know I am in love with him because I don't mind if he doesn't want to go out with me, I just want him to be happy and see me every now and then. He has a girlfriend, but I don't care - I love him too deeply to hurt him by being jealous.
^^ Love is about 10 times more soppy than a crush.
Plus, it's a damn sight easier to get over a crush.
Not overly insightful, but hey,
Cc xxxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): Undisclosed,your answer is so deep,made me really think:)
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A
male
reader, Undisclosed +, writes (11 April 2009):
 When you have a crush, everything is wonderful whenever you're with them.When you're in love, everything is miserable whenever you're not with them.You were looking for something a bit more concrete, I suppose? Something more than "Oh... you'll know..." perhaps? It's a big question when you're a teenager and one you will toy with for countless years. It's a lot of fun too. Like tasting a strawberry for the first time, you'd be hard pressed to describe it in words for a distant pen pal who's never tried them, but you will taste it time and again, each moment adding to your appreciation of it. It's wonderful.I've had many crushes, each brightened my day whenever I was near them. Their energy animated me, gripped my heart and stole my thoughts. Every time. It's a wonderful feeling and they come and go; little surprises that pepper the chapters of your life. You try to clasp at your first crushes like dandelion seeds in the wind, don't be discouraged if they slip away. Later on when a new pretty face strikes you for the first time, that feeling will revisit you like an old friend and you'll think "Looks like I have a crush". Sometimes something comes out of it and sometimes it doesn't. Savor those precious moments.I've had several girlfriends that enriched my life and I cared deeply for all of them but in hindsight, I think I only LOVED one of them. I was miserable haha! That's not entirely true. We were elated when we were with each other but miserable when we couldn't be with each other. You'll do some pretty irrational things. You spend your waking moments thinking about each other. You'll walk two hours to see her. You'll hop a the next plane to see her if she's out of town. You'll leave your inhibitions at the door and dance with her wherever you may be. You'll know no fear but hers. You'll wake up in the middle of the night because you know something is wrong and when she tells you, you drive however long it takes to the nearest 24h pharmacy because you simply can't fall asleep until you do. You'll look into her eyes and know exactly what she's thinking and what she's feeling. You'll feel light and heavy whenever she's in your arms. You'll be an intoxicated puppet of your heart. I wish these moments for you.When I was very young, I was told never to marry the woman I fall in love with. This seemed like the most ridiculous and utterly absurd advice I ever heard. So much for the wisdom of the old! What's the point of living if you're going to be so senile? (I had a different attitude when I was younger). The advice I got was essentially that you can never be happy with the one you love. Your heart will be forever on your sleeve and in their hands and you need it to live. You can't sustain that indefinitely and it's true... I've had to swallow my heart back into my chest and it's a painful swallow. Love consumes you. You'll feel similar things with other girls but the most fruitful and satisfying relationships are those where you can be strong when she is weak and she can be strong when you are weak. There's a great interdependence and you grow a lot because of it. It's a luxurious and sustainable fire that warm your heart everyday, not the rampant wildfire burst that comes with infatuous love. A "long term life partner" is a very different kind of love, a very different kind of fire.Despite all that, I still choose to act like a fool in love because I'm young and can still afford to do so :)That's my limited understanding of the difference from what I've tasted so far. I'm looking forward to hearing your story in ten years time. Maybe I'll be more senile by then ;) Enjoy all the crushes and loves that life sends your way. Life is truly wonderful and it's these surprises that wait for us every morning. Who knows who you will meet tomorrow?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): thank you for asking that question. i needed to hear 00130945's answer. i would do anything for him. even walk to china bearfooted.
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A
female
reader, 00130945  +, writes (11 April 2009):
Well having a crush is just the physical attraction. That is when you first meet someone and is like love at first sight. Being in love is when you truely care about the person. You put up with their shortcoming and will love them no matter what they do. It's complicated because there are so many levels of love. You may love a guy as a friend but not truely be in love with him. When you are in love you will love the other person no matter what. They may break your heart but you will still care about them. They could gain 100 lbs but you would still want them. If you are in love you will be willing to make sacrafices for them and even if your relationship doesn't work out you will still care about them and want them to be happy. When you are in love you will forgive and sacrifice for them. If it is a crush you just want them because you are attracted, and wouldn't make any crazy sacrifies that aren't reasonable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): Well when having a crush usually it's someone you don't really know that you think is attractive that you wanna get to know. When your in love it's between two people that have got to know eachother, trust eachother, and will do anything for one another.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): A crush is infatuation. It's a strong feeling that fades after while. Love lasts forever.
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (11 April 2009):
 well love takes time for one thing, like in almost any case of love at fist site, its just a crush. love also takes endurance. for example if a person you have a crush on is all of a sudden a totle jerk to you then the feeling will go away. but if someone you love is all of a sudden a total jerk to you... well its impossible to just not want them anymore, instead you will likely beat yourself up over why you think they dont want you any more. and lastly if you love someone you will do almost anything for them, but if its a crush well you will like think "I trust this person enough to do that."
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