A
male
age
36-40,
*.T.1988
writes:Being a 22 year old virgin is so damn depressing sometimes.I just wish i knew how much longer this must go on.People always saying being a virgins a good thing but I myself have just become more bitter, sarcastic, and introverted as the years go by. I do not like being this way but it's like every time I see a couple of 14 year old's kissing at the mall I just want to go over and punch him in the face:), and that's not a healthy way to think :p. So what should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): It just sucks when you feel you're on the bottom rungs of the social ladder, i.e. being at a social event where it seems like everyone is married or has a boyfriend/girlfriend and here you are, you don't even have a number of a girl you can call on the phone. Than it seems like people ignore you or seem cold to you at these events when you try to start a conversation, and then all of a sudden you see them come alive when they see another person, man this drives you crazy and only reinforces the belief that you are indeed a loser. It almost feels like there is a pecking order, and if you're at the bottom than you're to stay at the bottom. If you try to move up, you're threatening the people above you and they don't won't want any part of that, and there's a good chance they will try to keep you down, even in the subtlest ways.
It's like if you don't cultivate your social skills in high school or at the latest college, than you're almost screwed...it's going to be hard to make friends since you have limited social skills, and this thus will take away your desire to become more social since you realize you suck, and then that will make you become depressed, and the cycle will keep perpetuating in a neverending cycle it seems. Is there anyway to change this since it is not always the person's fault that they are not social?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): You need to get yourself out there and explore the freedom.
Not just sex! Sex isn't important until you think it is.
You need to go out, meet new people and try a new way of life, a bit of a personal change. Sarcasm isn't always a bad thing, it can be a funny characteristic but as for the bitterness, life's too short.
Grab a ticket and ride the bachelor express, there are tons of women out there who are looking for mr right.... and mr right on the night, just depends what you're looking for and where you're looking for it.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Ah well now you can hassle him about being under the thumb :-)
Yeah fate's a bitch isn't it! Lets hope she'll smile on you soon!!
I'll ask god to send you a real honey asap.
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A
male
reader, J.T.1988 +, writes (13 April 2010):
J.T.1988 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Don't worry about it, just thought I better clear that up.Not sure why you all thought I was a girl though?
Anyway no my friends wouldn't ditch me, but I would never hear the end of it. At this point the only one that really know,s is my best friend and that's only because we have known each other since we were twelve.Of course as soon as he got him self a girlfriend and lost his, he had to remind me that I was still a virgin about every other day for awhile. Thing is I cant really find any fault with what he did,it's not as though he lost it on a one night stand. He and his girlfriend really seemed to be in love and are planning on getting married now. I just wish fate had bin that kind to me :(.
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female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (12 April 2010):
OMG I'm so sorry I called you a girl. That'll teach me to read posts more thoroughly before replying. I do still stand by my orginal post but I would like to add this. I met my husband when I was 20 and he was 24. He was a virgin I wasn't. He didn't actually admit it to me until after we'd had sex for the first time. I promise you I didn't think it was a bad thing in fact I actually thought it was kind of cool. However I do understand where you are coming from too with feeling like a social reject. Honestly would your friends dump you for that though? Pretty shallow friends if they do. Hey you never know you might meet some exotic woman whilst in the middle east it's been known to happen before. By the way big thumbs up for serving your country!!!
Good luck dude hope you score soon!
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A
male
reader, J.T.1988 +, writes (12 April 2010):
J.T.1988 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm a man last time I checked, let me make sure, yep testicles still there XD! Anyway the last poster pretty much hit the nail on the head.It just suck's to have to constantly cover my tracks all the time , because if someone ever finds out, that's it, game over, might as well move on to a new group of friends.To make things worse I pretty sure that its not going to get any better for a couple of years. Unless I can get together with someone in the next ten months I can count on being a TWENTY FOUR year old virgin.Why? Because my retarded ass enlisted in the reserves is why, and next year my unit is deploying to a certain middle eastern country were I will have zero chance at meeting someone for a solid year. So yeah I'm pretty much f##ed T_T.I absolutely refuse to go get a damn hooker, I'm not that damn pathetic! Hell, I'm not really even fond of the idea of sleeping with a non virgin to be quite honest.Although I do realise this is something that I am most likely going to have face in the future, but I'll deal with that when and if the time comes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): I understand your predicament and hope you get this taken care of sooner than later. Speaking as a 27 year old virgin I can say it is crushing to not have ever done the deed. It casts a dark shadow in your life and it sometimes makes you feel pathetic and unworthy. You feel it is bottlenecking a lot of things inside you because you worry about it constantly. Just the social confidence I believe you will get in being able to chime in conversations about the topic you know you have first hand experience on, and knowing internally you've done it so you never have to worry about any slip ups you may have in conversations will help you immensely in your life and make you feel a lot more happy (I KNOW ITS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL TO HAPPINESS, IM NOT CLAIMING IT IS, BUT NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING YOU BELIEVE CAN COMPLETELY DESTROY YOUR REPUTATION IS A HUGE HUGE RELIEF). Having to worry about this gorilla on your back on a daily, sometimes hourly, evenly minutely basis can drive you nuts and let's face it, as a man in America the amount and quality of women you've been with gets you more respect than any other accomplishment you have in your life. You can get someone who has a lot of money and a nice car to shut up real fast if you bring up the fact that they've never had a girlfriend. And the fact that this is one of those unspoken topics that people rarely talk about (and thats probably because most people cant relate so I cant blame them) makes it that much more depressing and saddening because you feel like you have noone to turn to and you don't know if you'll ever get this taken care of in your life. Have any girls in here did it with a 27+ year old virgin and if you did, can you explain how it all came about, not the actual act itself but from first meeting the person to ending up in the bedroom? Did he reveal this fact to you before doing it? Also do you know if he was a V because of choice or not? I know getting answers to these questions will definetely give me a lot of insight on what I can possibly expect and probably a lot of confidence too if this is not that big of a thing in a relationship or even a one night stand at a bar. I just hope it's not one of those weird things where you can do it if you've done it but can't if you haven't because that would mean I would have to probably resort to paid services or get with an ugly chick and I do not want to do the paid services because I know people can use that to make fun of me and embarass me and I know I will be too self conscious if I'm with an unattractive chick thinking about what other people are thinking and am I selling out right now because I'm with her. I know I think way too damn much but I have no idea how to not think so much and unless you have extensive experience on this you don't either. I'm sorry I don't mean to sound overly negative but I just hate it when people talk out of their ass to give advice or dont realize that giving overly generic answers to me is more frustrating than helpful. Lastly to the writer of this article I hope you keep your head up and find some good, trustworthy, solid people who can help you with this because I'm sure that is one of the biggest things you want right now in your life. I wish you good luck and all the best my friend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): is this a male or female OP
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): I am confused as to why so many people are answering the question as if the asker is a woman. It says it's a man.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Consider hiring an escort. Consult www.theeroticreview.com. There is a reason prostitution is "the oldest profession." A little sex is always better than no sex at all and that includes the sex you pay for. Some will surely say that you will end up regretting losing your virginity for money instead of for love, but they're just being romantic. Realistically, the first time you have sex isn't going to be some storybook fantasy, it's going to be clumsy and a little embarassing and a professional is going to know just how to handle you. Alternatively, if you have money to burn, you could visit VIP rooms in the seedier strip clubs until you find a girl willing to get freaky. (consult www.tuscl.net) Do not pick up a girl on the side of the road, it's just not worth the risk. Don't get caught!
Or if that doesn't appeal to you, then take the hard road: hit the gym, spend more time with your friends and with new people, and open conversations with girls with a friendly "Hi."
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female
reader, yasmin3 +, writes (12 April 2010):
Well gurl feel proud of yourself ,cuz at this moment I envy you ...lol...I lost my virginity when I was 14 years young....:-) ..Don't worry to much ..cuz your lucky ...
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female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (12 April 2010):
This may sound sacartistic but is not meant to be. If you are bitter angry and introverted who is going to want to sleep with you? Ramp up your social life and join some clubs or organisations in things that interest you e.g cooking class, book club, gym etc. The more people you meet the more chances you have of meeting Mr. Right. And trust me the right guy wont give a toss that you are a virgin!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): It does get you down doesn't it? The main thing to do though is not dwell on it, your time will come. When it comes down to it there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. People who judge you for it are simply shallow. Just make sure you have a decent social life in which you can meet prospective partners and I'm sure you'll find someone, you can do no more my friend.
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female
reader, L.A LATINA +, writes (12 April 2010):
 well being a virgin dont mean you cant kiss why do you get up set ..actually thats pretty awesome being a virgin there are not to many girls out there trying to save for marriage..
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