| A ,
anonymous
writes: I've got a bit of a problem with my girlfriend. I have been with her for
well over a year, and things have always been ok. She has had a few
boyfriends before me, and was always very easy going with short,
non-committed type relationships (or f**k buddies as she referred to them).
When we got together, she told me that was a phase and now she wanted a
serious, long term relationship. In the summer I bought her a ring which SHE
CHOSE to put on her left ring finger. But since we've moved into together
and started university it's all going wrong. I have sensed she wasn't happy
about something but she kept assuring me she loved me and was happy. My
parents have just moved to France and have invited us down for New Year, but
my girlfriend said she didn't want to go. When I asked why she starts to cry
and I get the following list:
* She feels trapped
* She doesn't want to say she loves me (she says she feels she shouldn't have to)
* She doesn't want me to say I love her
* She feels she isn't independent
* She doesn't feel herself
* She wants to be able to flirt with/dance with/pull blokes
* She says I touch her too much
* She wants to wear her ring on the other hand (apparently she feels uncomfortable with it there and only put it there for me)
* She thinks I don't trust her
* She's missing out on uni social life because she feels I'm breathing down her neck.
* She says there is no way out of the relationship.
After she said all this I felt a bit upset. I really love this girl and she
means everything to me. She's done a lot for me and really helped me to get
on my feet and start doing things with my life. I really don't want to lose
her, but I feel like this is the beginning of the end. She says it's her
problem that she has to deal with herself and she wants to stay with me. I
feel she's lying to me and herself. Its as if she thinks these problems of
hers don't effect me. I've done everything to try and make her happy and to
remain excited and proud that she's with me. If she has that much of a
problem with us, why doesn't she leave? I really am at a loss! What shall I
do? What shall I say?
Please Help!
Cheers
D
View related questions:
flirt, moved in, trapped, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): Hey man just get on with life. That a sign meaning she dont want to be with you anymore man. Just pack you're things an leave.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2005):
First I'm sorry to hear about that. Your girlfriend might have gotten used
to the relationships the so called fucked buddies that she can't seemed to
settle down into one place. One thing you should make sure is if its not the
weather or if shes PMSing since those affect the mood of a woman or if she
is seeing someone else or not. If both aren't the case then I can only offer
two advice. Try to yield to her and tolerate her in ways you can aka
submissive completely and ways of sparking the love that there once was.
Conversation might be the key as to emphesize to her that you love her
really much and how deep the love is, try to remind her of the love you both
shared and pray it would touch her and get her out of the slump. If
improvising wont work and all else fails than I'm sorry to say but you are
better off getting over her and let her go if she is that much unhappy in
the relationship. My final thought is my friend who is also going through
guys in her past as fuck buddies but I had gotten her out of the habit of
course she seeks other gratifications and since she is bi-sexual she seeks
female companions. I guess that is better than males, but I can understand
what type of a person you are dealing with. If she feels constraint give her
space, a girl like that might want to be a free spirit rather than being
controlled of course there is a limit as to how free a person should be. You
dont want to give them too much space as to being its ok to have fuck
buddies again.
I hope my advice proves of any value to you and pray you find the guiding
light to the answer you seek~
...............................
|
