A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 3 years. We have a 27mth old boy. We didn't know each other really before I found out I was pregnant. Shortly after the birth we got engaged. We were happy before the birth, but then it was a new, young relationship. Since the birth we have drifted apart and I called off the engagement. We have slept together maybe 10 times in 27mths. I can't bear for him to touch me, I freeze and wish I was somewhere else. I have no desire to have sex with him and all we do is argue. I have threatened to leave so many times but can't because of our child. Recently I had an affair with a mutual, married friend. Although we never had sex I felt so alive, just like I used to. We both stopped before things went too far, although we both know that it will happen one day as we have a lot in common and very strong feelings for each other. He is in the same situation as me. It has made me realise that there is more than just 'existing' to my life, I want to feel alive again, but I don't know if I can with him, I don't want to try. EVERYTHING he does annoys me, I hate the weekends as he is home and we just sleep with our backs to each other. What am I going to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): ok STOP.
this other guy only seems exciting because its the ''forbidden fruit''...not because hes a nice guy or a good partner. dont assist him in ruining his marriage just for the sake of chasing something that doesnt exist.
sometimes after a child the spark is lost in a relationship as all the attention is focused else where. from what youve said you guys made the mistake of not really knowing each other to start with.
what i suggest is you spend time to talk, give the baby to a friend or relative for a night or two each week and go out for a meal,movie etc..talk (no tele,music or distractions while you talk)communicate, open up,be honest..dont just give up
but by all means end it with this other guy, you'll regret it soo much if you help a man to become a cheat just for a fantasy that youve made up to escape your life
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