A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im worrying alot about my girlfriend well she dont want to move in with me we only see each other at the weekends i dunno what to do she will not add me on her facebook so i dont no can anyone help me with this we have been together for a year now
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): To clarify:
It's not that couples ought to rush out and get married and that marriage is the end all and be all of life. Many people lead very rewarding and productive lives while choosing to remain single.
It's that being a wife requires tremendous effort and sacrifice. Women should not give up their freedom to assume wife responsibilities without FIRST having the legal recognition and protection a wife would have.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Relationships are a bigger sacrifice for women than they are for men. Even today in the western world, women assume most of the household duties and child rearing on top of their full time jobs. And since men generally have far fewer suitors chasing them than women do, they're giving up very little to be with one woman.
Why should your girlfriend give up her space and her privacy so she can cook and clean for a guy who isn't prepared to marry her?
As for facebook, it's possible your girlfriend is chatting up other men and that is her reason for not adding you. However it may be that she doesn't want you using facebook to track her down whenever she doesn't answer her phone or pouncing on her every time you see her online.
I suggest you forget about facebook and moving in together for the time being. If you're not prepared to marry her then she ought to be keeping her options open.
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (15 February 2011):
A year may sound long to you but it´s not. Think about it. You´ve known your best friends longer than that, good friends longer than that and distant family members longer than that. Compared to that, one year is nothing.
Moving out to live with someone is a big step. You move out when you´re 100% sure you´re ready not to come back. And this is very different from sharing an apartment with a friend. Relationships can be like fuses. What makes them so powerful and passionate is also what destroys them.
Also you have to consider this. Right now, you don´t get to see your gf 24/7. This means you don't really encounter those annoying little habits that everyone (and therefore, she as well) has. When you move in together, you get the whole package. And if you're not ready for that, those things you love about her might become the things that annoy you to an end. She might need more time.
As for facebook. It's just a networking site. That's it. It's not significant in your life, not unless you make it so. I see so many people reading too much into it and makes them paranoid. Don't fuss over it. Just tell her it would be nice if she added you and LEAVE it after that. Unless there are other behavioral signs that suggest something is off, there's nothing to worry about.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (15 February 2011):
There is no much information here. You have been dating over a year and you see each other on weekends only. You aren't in her facebook. Have you meet her family? Do you have any doubt about being her official boyfriend?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): It sounds to me like she is hiding you. It could be that you are a second bf and her first is on her fb....
Now I could be wrong but something is not right...
Talk to her about it and try to do some searching why she is like this.
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